


To the Moon and Back

by CrimsonEnigma, Dawns_Star



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Also to clarify what we mean by past unhealthy relationships, Angst, Background Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Baggage, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions of past self harm, Moonrocks, New enemies, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Emotional Manipulation, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Terrisa, They're both idiots with a single braincell between them, all parties involved in the relationship made mistakes and not everyone learned from them, past emotional abuse, past unhealthy relationships, there was no single victim of said mistakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 80,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonEnigma/pseuds/CrimsonEnigma, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawns_Star/pseuds/Dawns_Star
Summary: A new type of monster has infected the worlds. Terra must team up with Isa and embark on a quest to eradicate the fearlings. When Isa's soul shatters and a fearling binds to Terra, they must save each other from their own darkness.
Relationships: Isa/Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Past Saïx/Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts), past Isa/Lea
Comments: 66
Kudos: 66





	1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo all!
> 
> This story takes place 5 years after the end of KHIII.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Terra wished that he liked Radiant Garden.

It was bright and cheery, people were eager to rebuild their lives, and monster invasions were at an all-time low. Everyone on the streets smiled at Terra as he jogged past them during his morning runs. The shopkeepers were kind enough to help him combine complementary accessories before he bought them. A wonderful elderly lady had helped him navigate the blossoming tram system during his first week in town, and she had even insisted that she ride with him to make sure he got to his destination safely. Although it might've had something to do with how she stared at his backside whenever she got the chance, Terra still appreciated the assistance.

Everyone was so _nice_.

At least, everyone outside of the Restoration Committee.

Terra wished that he knew how to convince Cloud to smile or get Leon to actually laugh at one of his jokes. He wished that he couldn't hear Even whispering to Ienzo how they ought to keep an eye on him. He wished that Dilan and Aeleus would stop glaring at him whenever he entered the castle, as if he was one twitch away from turning into a monster again.

He wished that they would treat him normally, but he knew that it wasn't so easy.

Aqua had told him that they were probably waiting for Terra to prove himself as a warrior of light once more. She had encouraged him to keep trying, to keep helping and smiling and proving their suspicions wrong, but it was so draining. There was only so much happiness that Terra could feign in a day, especially when the unwelcome reminders of his possession hung over his head like a noose.

He didn't remember the castle in Radiant Garden, but somehow, his feet knew the corridors to walk in the night and which floorboards in the study were creaky and which window had the best view of the rising sun. There had even been times when he wasn't paying attention and nearly ran into various walls until Even pointed out that a hidden door was no longer where Terra expected it to be. Terra would mumble apologies and try to smile through the sidelong glances already spinning suspicions before he could absolve himself of any wrongdoing. There were even times when Aeleus had snarled at him for looking too much like Xemnas. The former nobody had declared that he wanted nothing more than to punch Terra for daring to smile.

He didn't like being reminded that he shared Xemnas' face, much less did he appreciate being accused of sharing his sins.

Ventus and Aqua had forgiven Terra, as had the other keyblade wielders. They believed that it hadn't been his fault that Xehanort had ripped his heart and soul to pieces in order to possess his body. Although he understood that logically, it didn't change the fact that he felt as if he should've done something more for the decade he was puppetized.

Aqua tried to convince him to talk to a doctor about his past and the nightmares that plagued him, but Terra always found an excuse to run away again. It was better to just try and be a better person than tell someone else what a disaster he had been for so long. Not only were his issues probably a product of insanity or something, but any self-respecting doctor would lock him up for spinning some outlandish tale about monsters and hearts and darkness.

And maybe Terra was insane.

Why else would he be throwing himself into danger again?

Aqua had been trying to convince him to seek medical help again when Terra volunteered for a four-month-long mission in Radiant Garden. He knew that it would be miserable, but he figured that it would be infinitely better than someone else trying to coddle him through his mistakes.

Although the heartless and nobodies were largely eradicated from the world, some had been lingering in the Wastes. Since the Restoration Committee was planning on expanding the town, it was imperative that the colonies of monsters were destroyed before they hurt anyone.

Although Leon and the others seemed to have an issue with Terra being around, they didn't seem to mind the results he brought them.

Terra had been fighting daily for over three months. The Committee had already expanded five miles into the Wastes, and everyone was working at a breakneck speed to ensure that their facilities were established before the heartless could dare to respawn. Thus far, they were ahead of schedule.

The sewer and waterlines had been dug and tested. The electrical grid was set up to support the planned infrastructure above. Outposts had been strategically placed and they climbed against the cliff faces like sturdy sentinels. As soon as the outposts were finished, then the plan was to begin expanding to businesses and homes. That phase would take years to complete, but so long as there was a stable foundation then the civilians would happily flock to the new parts of town to reclaim their world bit by bit.

As much as Terra resented the others in the Committee and the castle, he actually felt proud of his work. Knowing that innocent people would be a little safer brought him a peace of mind that little else could.

He didn't know what he would do if he failed, and failing was only a matter of time.

A massive heartless, born of the last push of straggling monsters in the area, spawned in the Wastes and rampaged through the canyons. The Restoration Committee activated their strongest barrier materia to protect the workers and the scaffolding. The barrier was easily half a mile wide and it held up against the onslaught of rubble that crumbled away from the cliff faces.

But as Terra was laying the final blow to the heartless, it all went wrong. He fired off his Keyblade Cannon, ripping a hole straight through the monster and into the barrier. The heartless screeched and fizzled away like blood down a drain, but the barrier shattered.

Terra rushed back to the edge of the construction site, panting and panicked and bleeding from shallow wounds. The foreman shouted orders to his managers to contain the fires and count the survivors. The newest outpost had collapsed and they were trying to contain the flames before it spread to the other buildings. Workers, covered in dust and soot, were dashing around to help each other and keep the rest of the scaffolding from collapsing.

“How can I help?” Terra asked the foreman.

The foreman was a good man. He often cursed and yelled and blustered, but he had an inherent kindness and light within his heart that Terra couldn't help but admire. Instead of putting Terra to work, however, the foreman glared at him.

“Haven't you done enough already, kid?”

Terra wilted. He...he deserved that. The foreman was right.

So he hung back until the damage was under control. He thought about heading back to the castle to stew in his guilt, but he wanted to check with Cid Highwind once more before he left. He sought out the old pilot.

Cid was waiting for him. He held a grimace on his face and a shattered materia in his hands.

“Are you okay?” Terra asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Cid grumbled. “But this ain't. It's the strongest materia we had and ya broke it.”

“I'm sorry...” Terra hung his head. “I'm so sorry...”

Wave after wave of guilt and self-hatred swamped his heart. People were going to suffer now because of his mistake. Just like before...everyone suffered because he was careless and stupid and andand--

“Hey! Kid!” Cid snapped.

Terra dared to glance up at him. As much as he worried that a weapon would be raised this time, Cid was just shaking his head.

“Didn't you hear a damn thing I said?” Cid maneuvered his cigar to the other side of his mouth. He was angry and brash, but no more than usual. He handed Terra the broken materia shards wrapped in an old handkerchief. “I told you to take this to one of the materia shops in town. The Dark Sun or some gaudy name like that. I've heard rumors that they might be able to heal 'em or some shit. It's probably a scam, but at the very least you should be able to find a replacement. Unless you wanna get Leon involved, then it's gotta come out of your pockets since the Committee ain't got funds for something like this.”

Terra grimaced. He didn't know how much a new protection materia would cost, especially such an advanced one, but it had to be better than telling Leon what happened. The Committee President was already going to rip into him for endangering the workers and destroying one of the outposts. He really didn't want to be shipped back to the Land of Departure for draining the Committee funds, too.

And honestly, it had been his mistake. It was only right that he pay for it.

By the time that the outpost fires had been smothered and everyone was accounted for, the sun had set and a thick cloud of smoke covered the rising moon. Certain that there was nothing else for him to do at the construction site, Terra mounted his Keyblade Glider and zoomed back into town.

Thankfully, a few locals were still milling in the streets when he arrived. He asked directions to various materia shops until he found the one that Cid had mentioned.

Cid had been almost right about the name. It was called The Veiled Eclipse.

The sign out front said that it was already closed for the night, but he dared to try the handle anyways. He didn't want to go back empty handed, and even if the shopkeeper wasn't going to help him tonight, he might be able to get information about whether or not anything could be done for the broken materia weighing down his pocket. If he had that, then he could plan for the next day if need be.

The door was still unlocked. He let himself in.

“Hello?” Terra called into the shop. The main lights were off, but the ones towards the back were still on.

“I'm sorry to bother you, I know you're closed, but I could really use a hand if you have a moment,” he walked a few paces inside. Several of the materia on the shelves and behind glass cases glowed faintly and pulsed in response to him. The heady musk of incense hung heavily in the air. Everything was eerily silent.

“Hello?” Terra tried again. He didn't dare to step further inside, but one of the materia within a case caught his attention. It was a brilliant green, similar to the one he had shattered, and it seemed to wink at him in the dim light. He didn't notice that he was drawn to it until his nose was nearly against the glass.

“What do you think you're doing?”

Terra jumped with a startled choke. The lights flicked on and momentarily blinded him. He whirled around to the shopkeeper, babbling apologies and nearly stumbling into the cases around him.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, but I really need a hand with a materia!”

“Terra?!”

The keyblade wielder's eyes finally focused past the bright lights. A familiar blue-haired man was standing before him, arms crossed defensively over his chest and scowling. He wore all black clothes, a wide brimmed hat, a dark, flowing duster, and heavy leather boots. His trousers looked sinfully tight and silver piercings on his ears and lower lip sparkled in the light like stars. The scar between the man's eyes scrunched.

“...Saïx?”

The other man flinched at the name.

“I'm Isa now,” he snapped. “What are you doing here? We're closed.”

“I...I was told to come here, erm, uh, _Cid_ told me to come here,” Terra said. “And, uh, I know that the sign said you were closed but the door was open and so I thought I could see if anyone could still help me and—”

“Out with it,” Sai—Isa demanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

“I...I broke the barrier materia that we were using at the construction site in the Wastes. I need a replacement or a repair as soon as possible. If heartless or nobodies return in the night, then the workers would be defenseless! I have to do something!”

Terra tried not to fidget nervously as Isa scrutinized him. Was he going to be thrown out? Isa had every reason to deny him, not only for begging that he work past the shop hours, but purely because of their past. Terra only remembered snippets of his—Xemnas'—relationship with Saïx, if he could even call it that, but thinking too hard about it was enough to turn his face beet red and reduce his tongue to a stuttering mess. Xemnas and Saïx had been... _involved_. Although neither of them were nobodies under Xehanort's control anymore, the memories still haunted Terra in the night when he would twist in the molten sheets and ignore the ache between his thighs.

Terra shifted from foot to foot and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. It was an exercise to keep from bursting into flames on the spot as Isa seemed to stare into his soul.

“Let me see it,” Isa finally said.

Terra looked at his outstretched hand, still processing the words, before fumbling in his pockets to pull out the handkerchief.

Isa took it from him and laid it out on the counter. Terra's heart sank. The materia was barely glowing anymore. It looked like shards of a dying star.

“Can...can you help?” he asked.

Isa picked up the pieces one by one and arranged them in a deliberate pattern.

“Our shop only sells replacements for these kinds of barrier materia,” he said.

“For how much?”

“200,000 munny.”

Terra's heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach. He didn't have that munny like that. Perhaps he could set up a payment plan, or make a down payment, or something...

“But!” Isa interjected before Terra could dwell to deeply. “I might be able to help. I can't make any promises, but I'll do what I can.”

“Thank you!” Terra exclaimed. “How much will I owe you?”

Isa shrugged. “Nothing. There's still a chance that I can't help the materia.”

Terra perked, but tried to reign in his optimism. “Thank you again, Isa. I really appreciate it. But why are you helping me for free?”

Terra remembered Saïx as a blunt, logical person, but he didn't know anything about Isa. After all, helping someone with no strings attached was never something Saïx would've done.

Isa busied himself with the shattered materia to keep from looking Terra in the eye.

“They're angry with you, right?” he finally asked.

“The Restoration Committee?” Terra wilted. “Yeah...Cid was really mad, but he promised that he wouldn't tell Leon about the materia if I could fix it or find a replacement.”

“Tch,” Isa scoffed. “They're all assholes.”

“Oh...so you don't get along with them either?”

“No. And that's why we outcasts need to stick together.”

Terra beamed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No...maybe,” Isa amended. He gathered up the handkerchief, locked the front door, and walked towards the back of the store again.

Terra remained rooted on the spot, uncertain.

Isa paused and glanced over his shoulder. “Are you coming?”

A grin blossomed across the keyblade wielder's face as he followed Isa into one of the back rooms. Heavy black velvet curtains tied back with silver ropes hung in the doorway. The inside was furnished with an antique table and chairs that were polished to a rich mahogany. A pitcher of water and a few glasses were on one of the cabinets lining the room. A low chandelier flickered as if the bulbs had fire within them.

“What is this room for?” Terra asked. The incense was thicker and sweeter than out on the floor.

“We use it for tarot readings, fortune telling, and past life trances.”

“Oh, that's all real?”

“What do you think?”

Terra shrugged. He had survived far more outlandish things than that. Although he wouldn't put it past the shop owner to swindle people with occult fantasies, he believed in Isa to a degree. After all, Saïx had been the Luna Diviner for a reason, even if Terra couldn't remember what that reason was.

Isa motioned for Terra to sit in a chair across from him and he put the handkerchief in the middle of the table. The former nobody again arranged the shards carefully into a pattern that only he could see. Terra shifted as questions burned at the tip of his tongue.

Isa glanced at him as if to silently reprimand him and resumed fiddling with the materia until he was pleased with the layout. He took off his hat and tossed it onto a nearby cabinet. The lights dimmed as if by some silent command.

He procured a bit of chalk and began drawing an intricate diagram around the shards in the center of the table.

“What’s that for?” Terra broke the deafening silence.

Isa smothered a glare and deadpanned at him. Terra’s mouth wisely snapped shut and he sat on his hands to keep from fidgeting.

Isa resumed focusing on the diagram and once it was complete, he placed his hands on two of the circles he drew and closed his eyes.

Terra waited.

Nothing happened.

Isa's breathing was slow and measured, but his lips were moving in words that Terra couldn't quite hear. Minutes ticked by. Terra watched the materia in front of him intently, mesmerized by the slow, dim pulse of light within the shards.

But still, nothing happened.

Maybe Isa was swindling Terra after all? Maybe he was making a fool of him, or trying to play a prank. Maybe this was all some sort of massive joke to make Terra feel guiltier than before for failing the people he was trying to protect.

He didn't dare to tap his fingers on the table even though his patience began to thin. He would give Isa a little more time before breaking the charade. It had to be a joke, and Terra was an idiot for falling for it.

Just as he was about to snap, Isa silently stretched out one of his hands to Terra.

Terra paused, uncertain. Isa hadn't spoken a word since they began whatever this was, and he didn't want to ruin anything even though his skepticism was climbing to impossible heights.

Would Xemnas have trusted Isa?

Terra hated that thought, but he still reached his hand forward and placed his palm in the other man's.

Immediately, the room lit up as if a small supernova had exploded. Teal and green energy curled from Isa’s fingertips and funneled into the materia, using the chalk diagram on the table as a conduit like an antenna during a lightning storm.

In a flash, the materia was whole again. It hovered in the air, completely aglow and bouncing lightly.

Terra's jaw hung open in shock.

Isa smiled.

The light faded.

The materia settled back onto the table.

Isa faceplanted into the wood, completely exhausted.

“Isa!”

Terra's chair toppled over as he rushed to the other man's side. He gently pulled his shoulders upright and searched Isa's sweaty face.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Isa blinked slowly.

“Hey, Isa! Snap out of it!”

He gently pushed some blue strands of hair from Isa's face, only distantly worried that Isa would get angry for touching him. It just felt...familiar. It felt right.

Isa finally focused on him and smiled warmly. Terra's heart skipped a beat. No one had ever looked at him like that before.

“Um...Isa?” Terra whispered.

Recognition slowly returned to the other man's pale face. With a jerk, Isa shook himself out of Terra's grasp so hard that he nearly toppled from his chair.

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” Isa buried his face in his hands. “I'm just a little dizzy. You should go. Your materia is fixed now, so just leave out the back door.”

Terra frowned and knelt by Isa's side. He set a firm hand on his shoulder. “I'm not leaving you here like this,” he said.

Isa scowled and tried to shrug Terra's hand off. It didn't work. “I told you I'm fine. Now get out.”

Terra flinched at the coldness in his tone, but he knew that Isa had drained himself doing...whatever he did. The other man's hands were shaking and he was paler than before. A thin sheen of sweat still covered his forehead.

Terra didn't want to be pushy, but he was genuinely worried. “Do you need an ether? I have an extra,” he offered.

Isa glared.

“Please Isa, how can I help you? Can I at least walk you home? As soon as I know you're safe, I'll be out of your hair,” Terra pleaded.

Isa's glare wilted and lost its heat. He rubbed his forehead and sighed.

“You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine.”

“Maybe so, but you helped me already,” Terra insisted. “I'd really like to help you in return, especially because you've exhausted yourself while fixing my mistake.”

Finally, Isa's stubbornness caved. “Fine. You may walk with me, but you'll leave as soon as I'm home.”

Terra beamed. “Sure thing, Isa!”

He helped Isa to clean the chalk off of the table and gathered their belongings. Terra thought that it was a little odd that Isa would insist on wearing a hat indoors or even outside in the moonlight, but he didn't question it. He had never understood fashion, as Ventus often reminded him.

Terra was careful to keep his hands off of Isa. He had desperate urges to support him, to balance him by his shoulder when he wobbled too hard, but he had to keep them at bay. He barely even knew Isa, but he was confident that the other man wasn't a physical type. He didn't seem to bloom from casual contact like Aqua and Ventus did. In fact, it almost seemed as if touching the other man made him curl into himself as if he was a dry leaf on fire.

As they walked in the cool night air, Terra chatted to try and mediate the awkward silence. He told Isa about Ventus new adventures in the cosmos, about how he thinks Aqua and Namine were going to get married any day now, and how happy so many of the worlds seemed.

Isa sometimes answered his prattling with noncommittal grunts, but was otherwise silent. Terra briefly wondered if Isa was just too tired to hold a conversation, but he also entertained the idea that it could just be his personality. Saïx hadn't been much of a conversationalist either.

Eventually, they reached a rundown apartment complex. The paint was peeling and the wood was warped and water damaged. A few windows on the lower levels were shattered and neon graffiti was splattered along the sides.

“You live _here_?” Terra blurted. “Uh! Not that it's bad or anything! Just uh...homey? Cozy? Looks nice!”

Isa spared him another withering glare before pulling away from him. He was still noticeably shaky, but at least the handrail leading up the stairs appeared sturdy enough despite the otherwise fragile exterior.

“You gonna be okay?” Terra asked.

“Yes. I'll be perfectly fine without your assistance,” Isa snapped. “You may leave now.”

Terra hesitated and ignored the pang of hurt in his heart. “Oh...uh, okay. Thanks again for your help. Well, I'll see you around then, right?”

Isa spared him one more glance over his shoulder. His teal gaze lingered a moment too long to be comfortable.

“I hope not.”


	2. A Bad Taste in his Mouth

Returning to the construction site was difficult.

The Restoration Committee received word about the destruction and Leon visited the site himself the next day to lecture and admonish Terra for his recklessness. Old and new guilt swirled within Terra's gut as he shrank against the cold words.

He hadn't meant to hurt anyone. He hadn't meant to sabotage all of their hard work.

But such sentiments were useless in the face of reality. Terra had hurt people. Terra had wrecked a portion of their project. He patrolled the Wastes for twice as long each day to make up for it.

At least Cid was impressed that the barrier materia was whole again and as flawless as before. Leon was none the wiser about that aspect of the damage. Thankfully, that part of the debacle would remain under wraps between the two of them.

Well, three of them if he included Isa.

The bluenette was on his mind for the next several days. He had been cold and dismissive towards Terra, yet he had still helped him. Terra wished that he knew why. Isa had only claimed that they needed to stick together as outcasts, but then had essentially told him off just hours later.

And what was Isa even doing in Radiant Garden anyways? Working in a materia shop couldn't have been that rewarding for a man as ambitious as Saïx had been. If anything, Terra had at least expected Isa to live in Twilight Town with Axel. He vaguely remembered that Isa was from Radiant Garden before heartless had devoured the world, but if he wasn't here for his best friend then why live on a world that only old enemies resided? Terra hadn't heard any rumblings that Axel and Isa weren't friends anymore, but it wasn't as if many people talked openly about Isa anyways.

Perhaps it was for the best that Terra just forget all about Isa. It was clear that the former nobody didn't want anything to do with him, and Terra couldn't blame him for it. After all, he shared Xemnas' face. It must have been another reminder of the foe that Terra had been.

That reminder made it harder than ever to look at himself in the mirror.

The restroom facilities in the outpost weren't particularly robust, but they had small mirrors above the bathroom sinks. As much as Terra had grown to despise his reflection, he couldn't help but edge closer towards it until his nose was pressed to the glass.

His face stared back at him. He hated it.

Some days, it took every ounce of his will to keep from smashing the mirror to pieces, and other days it was as easy to ignore as just glancing away. But since he had met Isa, he felt himself drawn to his reflection like a moth to a flame.

He hated it.

If he stared too long, he could swear that his hair would turn pale and his eyes would glow gold. They never did, thank the gods, but the terror that they might plagued him. It made him terrified to look at himself, but even more so to ignore it.

Terra finally peeled himself away from the mirror and went back down the hallway. The rooms in the outpost were shared quarters intended for the crew. However, since everything was still under construction, most workers headed back into town in the evenings. Only Terra and a skeleton crew remained most nights.

And on those nights, Terra slept alone in the room.

To keep himself busy, he cataloged the contents of his pocket pack again. It was a small, enchanted hip pouch commonly sold in accessory shops. The pocket packs came in varying degrees of depth, creating a sort of bent space within that could hold far more than the outside of the pouch suggested. Aqua had explained the finer details of the enchantment to him before, but Terra hadn't understood it then and didn't understand it much better now. All he knew was that it could be easy to forget what he had inside of it because it ran so deep.

Terra emptied out the entire contents of the pouch and reorganized it. As he did so, he noticed one of the other workers peeking around the edge of the doorway.

“Oh, good evening!” Terra turned. The person ducked back around the door frame. Terra sighed. It was probably someone who was looking for an empty room. He didn't understand why an empty room was in such high demand, but it wasn't the first time he had inconvenienced other people with his mere existence alone. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the people looking for a room were always in pairs? Sometimes they were giggling and blushing? It didn't matter, however. Terra was always just in the way.

He resumed organizing his supplies.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted the other worker peering around the corner again.

“Yes?” Terra looked at them. Again, the figure was gone. Terra heard footsteps retreat down the hall and he sighed.

If they weren't searching for an unoccupied room, then someone must be playing a prank on him by this point.

When the figure returned in the corner of his eye again, he grit his teeth. Just ignore it. Just ignore it. Don't give into their harassment and he would be fine.

But the person didn't leave. Terra couldn't stand it.

“What do you want!?” he snapped. Again, the doorway was unoccupied. The hair on the back of Terra's neck stood on end at a sudden realization.

He had heard the person retreat earlier, but not return.

Slowly, Terra stood and walked towards the door.

“Listen, I'm sorry I yelled,” he apologized with a sigh. “But I'm really not okay with you playing pranks right now. I know I messed up last week, but I'm doing my best to fix everything that I can!”

Terra peeked around the door frame. Only the dark hallway greeted him.

There wasn't anyone standing out there and he hadn't heard footsteps going up or down the nearby staircase. No other doors had latched, so where had the person gone?

It must be an awfully elaborate joke.

Terra sighed and retreated back to the room. As soon as he cleared the entrance, a gust of wind blasted through the open window and slammed the door shut. Terra tried to open it up, but it was jammed. He wiggled the handle. It didn't budge. It felt like someone was holding the knob.

“Hey, c'mon guys. This isn't funny,” Terra said to the other workers through the door. It had to be the other workers. There wasn't any other explanation.

Some of Terra's things rolled off of the bed due to another burst of wind. He yelped as they clattered to the floor.

The lights in the room flickered and guttered, pitching Terra into darkness. Fear bubbled in his throat as he finally turned his back to the door.

“This isn't funny guys...stop it...” he whimpered. He could swear that two golden eyes were watching him from across the room, about at the same height that a man would be standing. They were glowing in the dim light. A heartless?

He summoned his keyblade.

“I said stop it!”

The lights flicked back on. Nothing was there.

Cold sweat dripped down Terra's face as he caught his breath, keyblade still held before him. He reached back with his other hand and tried the doorknob again. This time, the door swung open obediently.

The hallway was empty.

With shaking hands, he dutifully finished organizing his pocket pack after the bizarre prank, all the while repeating the meditation mantras that Eraqus ingrained into him from a young age. He didn't want to ruminate on why he was so scared. The conclusions he might come to were far worse than just ignoring it.

The ordeal must have been the result of a prank and bad luck wrapped into one. Since the outpost was new and had suffered from recent damage, then it stood to reason that the lights could go out on a windy night. As for the door? The frame was probably swollen from rains a few days prior and the knob got stuck in pure coincidence.

Terra probably only thought that he saw a heartless.

It was probably stress. He had been overworking himself and not sleeping or eating enough since he shattered the barrier materia. Perhaps it was time that he head back into town for a few days to sleep in a real bed even if the company was no less pleasant than at the outpost. After all, the heartless and nobody attacks were at an all time low. Not only had the larger amalgamation wiped a bunch of them out, but Terra's double shifts had cleaned up most of the stragglers. The Wastes would be clear for awhile yet.

Terra resolved to return to the castle. He almost immediately regretted his decision.

Although Ansem the Wise was congenial and welcoming, the other former nobodies were not. They weren't outright aggressive, they also weren't friendly beyond a thin veneer of polite behavior. Cordial though they seemed, they also tended to make passive comments that stabbed at Terra's heart. He knew that they were still hurting from Xemnas' crimes, so perhaps it was only fitting that they take their frustrations out on Terra. It's what he deserved for being controlled, after all.

As Terra was roaming the halls late at night again, feet taking him where they pleased. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear a familiar voice speaking lowly in the hallway. Terra nearly ran into two people as he rounded the corner.

“Will you watch where you are going!?” Even's squawk of dismay catapulted Terra to the present.

“Oh crap, I'm sorry! I-I wasn't paying attention!” Terra babbled, hands up to disarm the other man. His eyes went wide as he acknowledged the second person he nearly ran into.

Isa.

Terra's heart jumped in his throat and he tried to swallow as Even waved his arms like a flightless bird trying to take off.

“Well you _should_ be sorry! You think you can just skulk around he--”

“Even,” Isa interrupted. “Is this really a good use of your time?”

Even snarled something incomprehensible at Isa that almost sounded as if he was figuring out how to tear the former second in command apart with words alone.

When Terra looked at Isa again, he almost thought that he saw the scarred man's expression falter for just a moment before hardening again like a rock against the ocean. Isa sidestepped around Even and straightened his jacket.

“Well, Even, if that's all then I'll be going,” Isa said to the taller scientist.

Even sniffed disdainfully and scribbled something else on his clipboard. “See that you do. We have enough ticking time bombs around here,” he eyed Terra intentionally.

Terra shifted uncomfortably and tried to step around them in the narrow hallway. He couldn't blame Even... it hurt to hear such things, but he was right.

“Ah, I see,” Isa murmured. “Then you won't mind if both of us make ourselves scarce. Right, Terra?”

Terra's eyes widened like a deer in the headlights of his keyblade glider. “Huh?” he immediately kicked himself for his eloquence.

Isa didn't seem bothered. “If you have no pressing appointments with our good scientist, then perhaps you'd humor me for a drink?”

Terra shifted again, suddenly far more uncomfortable. Ah. So Isa was trying to ruffle Even's feathers by dismissing the scientist with ease. Terra knew that he shouldn't play along into the passive-aggressive ruse, but the temptation to also spend time with someone who didn't hate him was too strong to ignore. Also, it sounded much better than being the butt of another bad prank.

“I'd like that very much,” Terra said. “Thank you.”

Even looked as if he had swallowed a lemon. He pursed his lips

“Have a good evening, Even!” Terra said with at much forced cheer as he could muster. Terra followed Isa out of the castle and into the cool air.

Suddenly, Terra felt misplaced. He had only seen Isa from a distance years ago, after they had defeated Xehanort. Their friends had all insisted that everyone involved have a party on the beach. Terra had spotted Isa there, but hadn't spoken to him. In fact, aside from the visit in the materia shop, Terra hadn't spoken to the former nobody at all.

“So... uh, how have you been?” Terra attempted conversation. Hopefully, this would just be another chance to make a friend.

“Fine,” Isa grunted. He stopped suddenly and faced Terra with an unreadable expression. “You don't have to actually go out for a drink with me, you know. We made our point to Even, so you're off the hook for the evening if you want to pursue your own whims.”

“Oh...I...” Terra's heart sank. He knew that it had been just a game for Isa, but for a moment, he had entertained the idea that maybe Isa actually wanted to befriend him. He glanced at the ground. Perhaps Isa didn't want anything to do with him after all. Perhaps all that talk about outcasts sticking together was pure nonsense. “To be honest, I was looking forward to it...Did I say something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

Terra picked at one his fingernails nervously.

The awkward silence dragged out a moment more before Isa shrugged.

“You...didn't do anything wrong. I just...” Isa sighed and began walking again. “Come on. I know a place nearby that has decent drinks for the munny.”

“You know, you don't have to invite me out of pity,” Terra frowned.

“Tch, are you coming or not?”

Terra sighed. He didn't know what Isa's intentions were, but it wasn't as if he had anything better to do. And honestly, retreating back to the castle with his tail between his legs was pretty far down on his list for the evening.

So he followed Isa.

The other man brought him to a run-down bar that looked more akin to a hole in the dirty brick walls. It was wedged between a weapon shop and a seedy bail bond office. The facade was filthy and had odd stains on the lower foot or so of the wall that looked suspiciously like old urine.

Inside wasn't much better. It smelled like cigarettes and unwashed armpits.

“This is uh...interesting,” Terra admitted as he looked around.

Yet Isa seemed at ease here. The bluenette smoothly slid into a booth with an easy familiarity and motioned for Terra to sit as well.

Within moments, a waitress sidled up to their table.

“Evening Isa. Not taking your spot at the bar, huh? You just want your usual?” she said.

Isa nodded and motioned to Terra. “And whatever he wants.”

“I'll have a whiskey and dark soda, please,” Terra smiled.

The waitress returned his grin and scribbled their order down. Before she left, she leaned down to Isa and conspicuously whispered in his ear. “He's a cutie!”

Isa's natural scowl deepened and he rolled his eyes. The waitress winked and walked away to fulfill their orders. Terra did everything he could to pretend that he hadn't heard the exchange.

“So, uh, is this where you go in your spare time?” he asked cheerfully.

Isa shrugged. “I don't have any stock keeping galactic peace with the other warriors of light and I severed my ties to the darkness years ago,” he said. “I don't maintain regular contact with the others, if that's what you're asking.”

“Ah...well, I was thinking more like fun stuff, but that works,” Terra chuckled nervously.

Isa grunted. “What are you doing here? Still working with the Restoration Committee after you returned the materia?”

“Yeah, I'm just keeping up with the Keyblade Warrior stuff,” Terra scrubbed at the back of his neck. “But between you and me, I feel like it's more of an excuse for them to watch me. You know, like they're afraid I'm gonna turn again or something.”

The awkward silence stretched between them again before the waitress returned with their drinks. Isa's looked like a dark bourbon over ice, the kind that would burn the back of his throat upon first sip. Terra's drink was strong on the whiskey, but he had a feeling that he would need it. Isa took a slow sip of his own drink and for a moment, it seemed as if the bluenette had found perfection in the broken world.

“Why do you bother appeasing them?” Isa asked.

Terra laughed and tried to make light of the situation. “Well, I guess I'm just trying to fix everything I've messed up. You know, making amends, building trust, that kind of stuff.”

Isa snorted into his drink.

“Something funny?” Terra asked, brow furrowing.

“Yes, actually,” Isa folded his hands on the table. “You're wasting your time. You'll never be enough to please them.”

“What does that mean?” Terra frowned. Of course he had his own self doubts, but it hurt to hear them from someone like Isa.

“No matter how 'good' you act or how heroic you are, you'll always be the shadow of another man to them,” Isa took another deep swig of his bourbon. “Trust me, I'd know.”

Terra smiled bitterly. “I believe you but...I want to try.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to believe that they can change.”

“It doesn't matter how much ass you kiss, they'll always see a monster in you. You're wasting your time pandering to the ones who would rather vilify you regardless of what you have or have not done.”

Terra sighed. He knew that Isa spoke a hard truth, but he wanted to believe otherwise. If there was anything he had learned from his past mistakes, it was that he had to believe that people could change, including himself.

“Sure, it gets frustrating sometimes. It hurts to hear them whisper and talk behind my back. It hurts more when they say things to my face. But I still want to try,” Terra said. “I know that I'll never be free of Xehanort's shadow, but it doesn't help me to be bitter about it. I just have to...keep trying.”

Terra knew that he had committed many sins. He had been reckless in his youth and he had hurt people even before Xehanort took advantage of him. Forgiveness may only ever come from Aqua and Ventus, but it didn't mean he couldn't repent for others as well.

“Do whatever you want,” Isa finally shrugged and downed the rest of his bourbon. Terra followed suit and soon, the waitress returned with fresh drinks.

“So...uh, why are you here?” Terra tried to change the subject. “I thought that you would be with Axel in Twilight Town.”

“Radiant Garden isn't the worst place,” Isa said. “It's familiar. I grew up here with Lea. Not that I blame him, but he said that Radiant Garden brought back too many bad memories. At least he has Roxas and Xion now in Twilight Town. Apparently, the children are doing well in college and Lea is still their dutiful guardian.”

Terra swirled his soda and whiskey, uncertain if Isa's old jealousy was keeping him from Axel's side, but unwilling to ask.

“Does it bother you to be in this town, too?” Isa asked. “Aside from how those self-righteous goons treat you, that is.”

“I can make due,” Terra tried to smile, but it was caught in the half-truth.

“You're lying.”

Terra stuttered into his drink with a chuckle. “Maybe I'm lying to myself. But I mean...it's not like I can blame them. Sometimes, it's like their fears become my own, too. They look at me like they're waiting for me to turn back into Xemnas. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder the same thing.”

“You won't turn into Xemnas again,” Isa bit out harshly.

Terra blinked at the sudden ferocity. “Huh?”

“You heard me. It's impossible.”

“How do you know that?” Terra frowned. “How do you know that you won't turn into Saïx again?”

Isa grunted and downed the rest of his bourbon in one draught and then stared distantly at the wall.

“It doesn't matter, not anymore,” Isa said bitterly.

“Do...do I remind you of Xemnas?” Terra dared to ask.

Isa stood abruptly and slammed his glass on the table with more force than necessary. “I'm going to pay our tab,” he said in a carefully controlled voice.

Terra scowled. “You didn't answer me.”

“I know,” Isa walked away to the bar.

“Hey, I thought that we outcasts had to stick together!” Terra called, desperate to salvage the damage his big mouth had wrought.

Isa didn't come back.


	3. The Fearling

Isa was indulging in a slow day at work. He had only arrived on shift a few hours prior, but already it was panning to be boring day. At least they received a new shipment of materia. Categorizing them would keep Isa busy after his manager went home.

And the slow day would be good for him. He had been staying out late at his favorite bar for the past few weeks, some part of him hopeful yet terrified that Terra might return. Isa knew that he could've handled their last encounter better, but he had frozen. And then, he had fled. If Terra never returned, then it was what Isa deserved for treating him so poorly.

But how was he supposed to tell Terra that yes, he reminded of him of Xemnas? They shared the same face. Their bodies were the same stature. Their hair style was similar with that ridiculous array of fluff that wouldn't behave on the top of their heads.

But Terra clearly didn't want to be equated to Xemnas and was doing everything in his power to distance himself from the image, even at the expense of his own comfort and safety.

Isa couldn't help what he saw.

Every time he looked at Terra, he saw his old lover in disguise. He saw the him that wasn't _him_. Walking away from Terra that night hurt something inside of him that made him want to immediately apologize, perhaps in displaced loyalty to the doppelganger. It made something within Isa, something that felt too much like the past, regret hurting Terra's feelings.

But what was he supposed to do about it?

Speaking so cordially at the bar made Isa feel as if he was talking to his old lover again, at least to a degree.

Terra wasn't Xemnas.

Xemnas was dead.

He had been dead for years now. Isa felt that time keenly. He had mourned and cried and yearned and wished so hard for his lover to return to him, but it had been for naught.

Xemnas was dead.

And Terra...he looked _so_ much like him that it hurt. It made Isa’s chest squeeze painfully when he caught a glimpse of the other man from the corner of his eye. 

That's why he dreaded the idea of ever seeing Terra again. There were _feelings_ that came with meeting the other man, _feelings_ that didn't belong. And they made Isa's gut twist in shame.

He had been a villain of the worst kind. While Terra had also been controlled by Xehanort against his will, Isa had allowed himself to be puppetized. He had even _welcomed_ it as Saïx. Terra was a shining beacon of innocence and Isa...

Isa was just a bad person.

And Isa didn’t want to taint Terra with his lingering darkness. He didn’t have the right to touch something as pure as the man that Xemnas died for.

It was even harder because Terra was also so damn eager. He was a puppy ready to make new friends. During their brief interactions, he had treated Isa like a real person instead of a threat or a sideshow, even after Isa had mended the materia. Fifteen years ago, Xemnas had grilled him for information after he learned of Saïx's affinity for life energy. But Terra? Terra was impressed, but he didn’t seem to define Isa based upon the experience. He wanted to still get to know him.

And Isa wanted to get to know Terra.

It was a contradiction. How was he supposed to befriend Terra if all he saw was the past? It wasn't fair to the other man. Terra deserved better friendship than anything he could offer.

As Isa was sweeping the shop's stoop, lost in his own angst, the town's air sirens screamed to life. Everyone on the sidewalks searched for the threat, Isa included.

“Hey, Isa! Pack all the breakables into the back! We’ve got orders from the committee to take shelter!” his manager shouted from just inside the shop. Isa nodded, but was reluctant to go inside. Some part of him demanded that he do something about the potential threat, but...he was a civilian now. He should leave it to the city’s protectors, right?

He should leave it to Terra.

Uncertain, Isa finally went inside. His manager flipped the radio on the highest volume as he grabbed the cash drawer from the register. The emergency announcer was telling civilians to stay indoors because a massive heartless was heading into town. But if the heartless was coming into town then...then Terra…

Isa swore that he felt his heart stop.

He called Lea with his ridiculous gummiphone.

“ _Yo, what's up Isa?”_ Lea greeted.

“Do you have Terra's gummiphone number? Call him,” Isa demanded.

_“Uh, yeah, I can. Why? What's wrong?”_

“Just do it. If he's not already headed into Radiant Garden's main town, tell him to there quickly.”

_“Huh? Radiant Garden? What the hell is he doing there? Is everything okay Isa?”_

“I'm fine, but other people may not be. Text me if you get a hold of him,” Isa didn't wait for another response before he ended the call, heart hammering in his chest.

He shouldn't get involved. He was a civilian. He wasn't a hero. At best, he was a monster.

But Terra...

Without thinking, Isa opened the mini fridge filled with product and pulled out a few ethers.

“Isa?! What the hell are you doing!?” His manager yelled. “And where do you think you’re taking the merchandise!”

“I’m going to fight,” he said, pocketing the ethers. “You can take them out of my paycheck, but I’ll return the materia. Think of ithis as an insurance investment.”

Isa ignored his manager’s threats and smashed a heavy meditation rock into the glass cases to grab several different materia. As soon as they were in his hands, the lights began to flicker in the room and small, shadow heartless began to ooze out of the ground.

“MONSTERS!” his manager shrieked.

Isa cast aero on the materia to keep them afloat while he summoned his claymore and struck the shadow heartless down before it could feast upon his manager. His manager fell on his rear. His wide eyes flickered from the place where the shadow heartless had been, to Isa’s glowing claymore, to the floating materia.

“Y-you’d just better bring those back when you’re done…” he demanded weakly as a dark stain spread on his trousers.

Isa nodded and fled outside. Immediately, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He could feel it, the velvety dark call of a powerful heartless. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Lea had texted him.

_'No dice. Terra's phone rang to voicemail. Is everything okay, Isa?'_

'Yes,' Isa typed back. 'I have it under control.'

Terra wasn't answering his phone. Either he was busy fighting or...or...

Isa swallowed the lump of fear in his throat. Terra would be fine. He was a keyblade wielder. He survived Xehanort. Something like a pathetic heartless wouldn't be enough to kill him.

Explosions in the distance sent shockwaves rumbling through the ground. The heartless was coming his way, no doubt due to the higher population in town than outside of it.

Drawing an imaginary line in the street, Isa set the materia around him in a pattern and slammed Lunatic into the ground. A flash of light erupted from his weapon and the windows in nearby shops shattered from the force.

An unearthly screech echoed in the distance. Good. It felt him. The monster felt his heart.

Isa waited until he saw it. The thing was massive, easily three stories tall. It oozed over and through buildings and alleyways rapidly like a gelatinous tidal wave. It had hundreds of glowing yellow eyes all over its amorphous body and something that looked like six legs helped it propel down the streets. It was definitely a heartless, but it was also something...more. He wrinkled his nose, noting the familiar stench of darkness mixed with fetid terror. His soul recoiled. He steeled himself.

Isa waited.

He thought that he heard the roar of a motorcycle in the distance.

He waited.

It oozed closer. The monster reared back and brought down a massive wave of slop to the place that Isa had been standing. The former nobody dodged the noxious slime and cast a barrier spell large enough to encompass the monster and himself.

The monster roared. If the nearby windows hadn't already shattered, Isa wouldn't be surprised of the volume alone would have been enough to break them again. Dozens more shadow heartless melted out of the ground outside of the barrier. He was trapped and he knew it.

The heady thrum of a motorcycle grew closer, and within seconds, Terra skreeled around the edge of the barrier, slicing through the smaller heartless as he went.

“Terra!” Isa exclaimed.

“Isa! Are you okay?” Terra yelled, albeit muted by the shield between them.

“Yes,” Isa confirmed. “Get inside the barrier. I have a plan.”

Isa focused on one section of the barrier to weaken it enough for Terra to pass through. Terra sliced at shadows as he went.

“Take offensive measures,” Isa said. “I'll handle the defense.”

Whatever conflict they had before was irrelevant. Terra nodded and charged at the giant heartless. Isa immediately cast haste upon the keyblade wielder followed by a quick spell that would temporarily boost his defense. Then, Isa followed up by summoning Ifrit outside of the barrier.

The summoned god roared as it sprouted from hellish flames. It began tearing into the heartless surrounding them while Isa and Terra focused on the larger monster.

The oozing behemoth screeched and sprouted tentacles where the half dozen, spindly insectoid legs had been. It swiped at Terra and Isa haphazardly. Both warriors defended and dodged in time with the attacks. Terra struck at the offending appendage with a shout, severing the limb from its body.

The tentacle flopped to the ground and twitched like an octopus. Slowly, it withered and dissipated in a cloud of ash.

Although Isa hadn't been training as vigorously he should've been, he still felt all of his moves come to him like secondhand nature. Every one of Saïx's claymore attacks was Isa's and he slashed at any and all tentacles that slithered too close to him.

Isa almost dared to think that it felt natural to fight at Terra's side. It felt like before, when he would boost Xemnas' natural stats with magic. Although Isa and Saïx were proficient melee fighters, their real strength had always resided in magic.

His fingers tingled as he cast more supportive spells on Terra and offensive spells at the fearling. Fireballs and ice blasts shot from his hands. Water condensed in the air around them, tripped the monster with a giant puddle, and then formed into hundreds of tiny ice spikes that speared into the ooze.

Terra was dodging tentacles and stray bits of slime as the monster thrashed at him. Finally, he slipped beneath the thing's enormous belly and gutted it down its entire length.

The monster shrieked and collapsed. The wound bubbled and oozed like an infected sore and its tentacles flailed haphazardly. With a mournful warble, the monster dried up like a patch of mud in the sun. It shattered into ash and a large heart popped out and floated away.

Panting, Isa dismissed Ifrit and his claymore and pocketed the materia before they could roll away. Four empty ether bottles rolled around his feet. His ears were still ringing and his blood was still surging through his veins.

“Isa!” Terra laughed. He flung himself as the bluenette and lifted him in a sudden embrace. “You were incredible!”

Isa couldn't help but smile, still riding the high of battle. He instinctively wrapped his arms around Terra's shoulders as they spun around. “Same to you.”

They both grinned, idiotic and warm, before they realized their proximity.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I uh--”

“No, it's fine. It's my fault. My apologies.”

“But, uh, I'm the one who--”

“It's not your fault, Terra, it's fi--”

“Yeah, but I'm really sorry--”

The two fools pulled away, blaming their blushes on the adrenaline and heat pumping through them.

“About...that night...” Isa's face twisted as he tried to find the words. He didn't know if he was honestly sorry about it.

“No, no, it's fine, it was my fault,” Terra insisted, denial keeping his gaze from meeting Isa's again.

“What? No it wasn't, it was _my_ fault,” Isa hissed. Even if Terra wouldn't admit it, Isa was determined that he was going to do better.

“Then it doesn't matter. Let's just forget about it,” Terra said, “ _I'd_ like to forget about it. I don't wanna think about that stuff right now, especially not when you've just saved the town and all.”

Isa's blush returned with full force. He didn't think he'd ever actually _saved_ anyone before. Not really. He tried to stutter a response, but Terra's infuriating grin just spread wider and wider with each aborted sentence.

“You're pouting,” Terra snickered.

Isa playfully punched him in the shoulder.

The sound of Cid's airship approaching sobered them both. It hovered over the scene, and Leon and Cloud slid down the ladder to the ground.

“Hmph, so you took care of the monster already,” Leon said.

Terra nodded and stood a little straighter. He motioned to the bluenette.

“Yes, _we_ did.”

“Was that the only one?” Cloud asked.

“It was the only big one. The other heartless were just small fry. I'm pretty sure that Isa's summon defeated them all.”

“What happened?” Leon said. “ Your message claimed that it was a new monster, but it just looked like a heartless from the CCTV cams.”

Terra frowned and scratched the back of his sweaty head. “Honestly...? I'm not certain. The heartless have been so quiet in the Wastes for the past few weeks that I thought most of them were gone. I was just fighting a handful of shadows, but then there was another monster, something dark, but it didn't feel like a heartless. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I couldn't feel a heart in it at all.”

“A heartless with no heart?” Leon raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. But then it _merged_ with the heartless and, all of the sudden, the rest of the darkness in the area was drawn to it. It kept growing and then took off towards the town before I could stop it. That's when I called you, Leon.”

Cloud looked at Isa. “And what did _you_ do?”

Isa shrugged. “Just saved the town. How about you?”

Cloud looked as if he was going to bite something to him, but Leon held up a hand to quiet them both.

“We'll look into it. But this is the second time you've been at the center of collateral damage, Terra. Perhaps it would be best if you returned to the Land of Departure,” Leon scowled.

“B...but... Why?” Terra stammered, the flush leeching from his face.

“You're too dangerous to have around. Don't think I haven't heard the reports of heartless following you,” Leon continued. “We hoped that you would've been able to dispel your darkness, but it doesn't appear that's the case. You're still just a troublemaker.”

Terra stuttered, utterly stunned.

“Help with cleanup,” Leon commanded. “Well have your things sent to the castle for you to pick up.”

“But...I didn't do it,” Terra protested. “I didn't cause the heartless to spawn!”

Leon's dark gaze pierced through them both. “And how do you know that?”

“Even if Terra had lingering darkness within his heart, it wasn't his fault. That thing wasn't just a heartless,” Isa interrupted.

“What?” Leon asked.

“It was fearling and a heartless combined,” Isa said.

“What's a fearling?”

“Oops, it seems I've forgotten,” Isa drawled. “You should probably ask Yen Sid. After all, we're just _troublemakers_ so there's no use taking our word for it.”

Leon's face darkened and he pointed an accusing finger at Isa's chest. “If I find out that you've somehow started this mess, then I swear to the gods that I'll take you down myself. You won't be recompleted again when I'm done with you.”

“If you really think that I'm still afraid of dying again, then you're as delusional as you are paranoid,” Isa rolled his eyes. “Terra, you can come with me if you want. I just need to return the materia to my manager first.”

He turned away from the members of the Restoration Committee. Through the blood pounding in his ears, he heard Cloud snort out a quick, “Well, he's got you there,” to Leon.

He didn't turn to see if Terra was following him, but the hesitant footsteps behind him notified him nonetheless.

“H-hey...thanks,” Terra muttered.

“Save your appreciation. They're not pleased with me, either. I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to run us both out of town,” Isa murmured.

“Yeah but...people don't normally stand up for me. Thanks, Isa.”

Isa steeled himself and turned around to face Terra, fully expecting to see Xemnas' face. Instead, it was just...Terra. Xemnas didn't make sad puppy faces like that. Isa's clenched fists relaxed.

“You're welcome.”

“Is it alright if I...if I help you clean up the shop or whatever you need to do? I don't really feel like heading back to the castle yet,” Terra admitted. “Like, I know that Leon and the Restoration Committee and the others in the Castle aren't bad people but they're just so...intense.”

“They're scared.”

“Yeah...I guess so.”

Isa nodded. Together they returned to the materia shop and helped the manager clean up the shattered glass and put as much product back on the floor as possible. The flabby man no longer seemed upset about the ethers he lost. Instead, he was patting Terra and Isa on the back and loudly proclaiming that he knew that there was something special about Isa all along.

Several of the townsfolk came by as well to thank and congratulate Isa and Terra. Some brought them gifts and some brought them food as appreciation for saving them. Apparently, there had been multiple witnesses to their battle and word had traveled fast that they were heroes. Reluctantly, Terra and Isa accepted the gifts and sorted them secretly into things that they'd rather donate versus things that they would actually use.

Even if Leon had given them the cold shoulder, the civilians were able to see them in a less biased light.

By the time they had cleaned all that they could, the moon was rising and the wind was brisk.

“You know, I really wish that we could fight alongside each other again,” Terra bounced on his toes. “It felt so...natural. Like I've done it so many times already. I really enjoyed it!”

Isa hummed in agreement. “We should spar sometime. I’d like to know more of your move set, especially if we’re going to fight alongside each other.”

Terra nearly squealed in delight. “You...wanna fight by my side? For real!?”

“Yes. I’d be honored to.”

Terra beamed, but then his expression slowly fell.

“We’re going to have to fight a lot of monsters again, won’t we?” he asked. “That thing...that fearling...it's a problem, isn't it?”

Isa nodded gravely. “Most likely.”

“Will you tell me what a fearling is, or do I have to ask Yen Sid, too?”

“There's not much to tell, honestly,” Isa shrugged. “It's a monster of darkness that feeds upon frightened souls. They're not very common, so I was surprised that one manifested in the Wastes of all places. They usually spawn in areas with higher populations, like heartless do.”

“Oh...If fearlings feed on fear, then it probably spawned out there because of...everyone who's afraid of me,” Terra frowned. “Did you know that they can merge with heartless?”

“Yes. That's the troubling part. I know that it's possible, but I've never seen it occur with my own eyes. I assume that you're going to pursue the cause.”

“Yeah,” Terra sighed. “I'm going to have to leave here and find out why it happened. If it's as rare as you say, then there must have been a reason why it spawned in the Wastes instead of the town, even despite the fact that the workers could be scared of me. There has to be a reason.”

“Then I'm going with you.”

Terra blinked at him. Isa flushed suddenly and looked away.

“W-what?”

“I said I'm going with you,” he repeated.

“Okay, I'm not complaining, but you were just telling me a few weeks ago that you weren't interested in being a good guy because people didn't like you. What's changed your mind?”

Isa sighed. “Maybe I'm just curious.”

“You don't seem like the curious type.”

“Then humor me.”

Terra finally chuckled. “Alright. Then we'll go together. That'll at least make it easier to explain to Aqua, after all.”

“Hm, using me as a shield already?” Isa teased.

“Hey, better you than me!” Terra playfully nudged Isa with his elbow. “But really, thanks, Isa.”

“You don't have to thank me,” Isa cracked a smile. “It's what friends are for.”


	4. Ocean Tide

Even after night fell, Terra still didn't have the nerves to return to the castle. Thankfully, Isa invited him to his apartment. Regardless of whether the offer was out of pity or newfound friendship, Terra was grateful. While they walked, Isa told Axel about the incident. A few texts in, Axel called Isa and shouted over the phone so loudly that even Terra could hear it.

Terra laughed and thanked Axel for calling to warn him that the town was in danger. He apologized for not picking up his phone, but assured the volatile redhead that everyone was intact and accounted for. Axel was finally satisfied after grilling them both for details on the battle and it sounded like he may have concocted a plan to handle Leon's attitude as well.

“Don't get any ideas, Lea,” Isa scolded him. The redhead was on speakerphone because he kept alternating who he was talking to.

“Perish the thought! I won't get any ideas _per say_ ,” Axel denied. Terra may not have a lot of experience with liars, but he knew that sly tone when he heard it.

“ _Lea_ ,” Isa warned.

“Okay, okay!” Axel caved. “Leon won't meet any unfortunate incidents on my watch! Geez, you're so uptight! Is it 'cause you're hanging out with the local keyblade puppy?”

Terra made a face. “Me?” he asked.

“Yeah, you!” Axel confirmed with a laugh. “Hm, maybe you'll be a good influence on Isa after all! See if you can loosen him up enough to grow a sense of humor!”

“Lea, I swear to the goddess, if you don't stop that right now I'm going to tell everyone about that one picture day in elementary school.”

“Oh, come on! You said that you forgot about that!”

“I lied.”

“Ugh, I'm wounded, Isa! _Wounded!_ ”

Terra laughed at the friendly banter and relished the small smile that Isa seemed to grow when speaking to his best friend. Axel and Isa still seemed rather close, despite everything that had happened over the years. It only confused Terra more that they didn't at least live on the same world. He couldn't imagine being separated from Aqua and Ventus for much longer than a mission or two.

They finally ended their conversation with Axel by the time that they reached Isa's apartment. The complex looked as run-down as the last time that Terra was there, only now there was some extra graffiti smeared on the walls.

“Ah, just so you know, my apartment is not very large. It should be relatively clean but...well, you're welcome to use the shower but I warn you that turning around is a little tricky,” Isa chuckled. He opened the door and flipped on the light.

Small was, perhaps, an understatement. It was a studio apartment, only large enough for a bed, a flimsy bookcase, and a low coffee table with minimal walking space between each piece of furniture. A kitchenette barely larger than a hotel bathroom dominated the tiny space to the left, and a narrow door separated the room from what Terra assumed with the actual bathroom. Just from what he could see inside, the bathroom was little more than a closet with a toilet and a walk-in shower stall.

Despite the small space, Isa had certainly made it his home. Terra vaguely remembered that Saïx didn't care for decor, but Isa seemed to revel in it. Dark tapestries with occult symbols hung from the walls. Materia lined the shelves. A small mortar and pestle was nestled in the corner of the bookshelf. Spent incense ash was on a small tray on the coffee table. The cold, cracked tile floor was lined with a plush black rug.

It was certainly...different, but it felt so appropriate for what Terra could see of Isa. At least the apartment matched his dark, edgy clothes.

Terra toed off his boots onto a doormat in the entrance. It read _'Get Out'_ in curling calligraphy. Meanwhile, Isa pulled open the mini refrigerator in the kitchenette.

“I have some leftovers from the other night, if you're hungry,” Isa offered. “It's burgers with peanut sauce.”

Terra's stomach growled and he laughed. “Uh, yeah, if that's alright. I love peanuts!”

Isa pulled out the leftovers and began prepping them on the two-burner stove. “If you want to shower, there are clean towels on the shelf above the commode. You're welcome to any soaps and shampoos. I should have some clean clothes that ought to fit you, too.”

“Thanks,” Terra said. “I have some spare outfits in my pocket pack that'll do. Thank goodness I grabbed it this morning!”

Terra ventured into the tiny bathroom, noting that it had both a black curtain _and_ a door. The bathroom was so cramped that the door literally couldn't close. It couldn't even move past the toilet bowl. Instead, he pulled the curtain to block himself from view. It was definitely Isa's addition if the silver moons and stars on it were anything to go by.

As much as Terra wanted to linger and sniff all of Isa's expensive looking soaps, shampoos, and conditioners, he picked a set to wash down with and finished in record time. Isa hadn't been joking. Turning around in the tiny stall nearly required acrobatics that Terra was certain he couldn't pull off without hurting himself.

When he emerged, clean and fresh once more, Isa had two burgers reheating in a skillet on the stove.

“Ooh, those smell good,” Terra sniffed the air over Isa's shoulder.

“They'll be done soon. My apologies for the wait. This stove top is dreadful and I don't own a microwave.”

“It's alright! I prefer the old-fashioned way, too!” Terra laughed. “If you want, I can watch over the food while you clean up.”

Isa took him up on that offer. While he bathed, Terra dutifully heated the food through. By the time Isa emerged again, wet hair freshly brushed and pulled back, the hamburgers were ready.

Terra sat cross-legged on the floor with his dinner and Isa perched atop the edge of the bed, one leg crossed primly over the other. Terra took one bite into his burger and swore that he floated to the heavens.

“Oh hearts, this is sooooooo good! What did you do to this peanut sauce?!” Terra groaned sinfully.

Isa chuckled. “I just followed the recipe. I wish that I could take credit for it, but it was on the internet.”

“Well, I hope you have it 'bookmarked' so you can find it again!” Terra exclaimed. “But you know, I don't know why it's called a 'bookmark'. It's not even a book.”

The two men fell into easy conversation about the technological advancements that varying worlds had made in the past decade. Isa was apparently still coming to terms with much of the technology himself. At least he had been raised a world that already had fairly advanced machinery before he became a nobody. After all, Terra grew up in a world practically void of technological comforts.

During their conversation, Isa had pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He settled on the floor as well while they talked.

“And so, there we were in the kitchen; the stockpot was on fire, the walls and ceiling were a mess, and Ven’s hair was still smoldering. Aqua looked like she was going to vomit a kitten. Master Eraqus was just standing there, watching us, and he calmly, ever so _calmly_ , told me ‘Terra… your eyebrows are gone’.”

“And that’s why you don’t trust microwaves,” Isa chuckled behind his glass of whiskey

“Yes! THAT’S why I don’t trust microwaves! If a fire spell didn’t work, then why should a metal box!” Terra laughed. “Perhaps that's why I never took to spells like Aqua did. I mean, I can do the basics, but not like her! And honestly, not like you, either. Where did you learn such great casting?”

Isa shifted and seemed to sober a bit. “Well, the materia does a lot of the work for me.”

“Really? I thought that materia was hard to use?” Terra inquired.

“Not particularly. It's a conduit for your mana that triggers its inherent qualities. There are many different types of materia that require many different skill levels to utilize. However, one rule remains; If your materia likes you, then it's easier to use.”

Terra blinked. “If it likes you? What does that mean?”

Isa seemed to think about it for a moment and then set his drink on the coffee table and ventured to his bookcase. After some deliberation, he picked three materia from the top shelf and set them on the table between them.

The three magical orbs seemed to almost flicker in the light. Terra found himself mesmerized.

“Do you know much about the lifestream?” Isa asked. Terra shook his head and the bluenette continued.

“The lifestream is a natural occurrence in every world. It's pure life energy creating the river of souls that all life returns to and comes from between death and birth. Some worlds have lifestreams that are buried deep within its core. Some worlds, like Radiant Garden, have lifestreams that flow near the surface. Some lifestreams are fathomless. Some are shallow. In worlds like this, where the deep lifestream is so close to land, the energy acts like an ocean. During full moons, the life energy rises beyond the surface with the tide,” Isa explained. “And when the lifestream surfaces, it tends to deposit materia behind. Materia, like these, are hearts.”

“What? They’re hearts!?” Terra was flabbergasted.

“Yes. The lifestream is only meant for souls to reside, but sometimes, hearts make it into the flow as well. Since the lifestream can be...powerful, it coats the heart in crystal to keep from destroying it. These are the materia.”

Isa picked up one of the materia, a green one with a deep, earthy glow.

“These are hearts. They’re trapped until someone strengthens them enough that they split open of their own accord. The heart will then leave the shells--one very powerful and one weaker--behind and rejoin Kingdom Hearts. But sometimes, there are multiple hearts sealed into one materia. Then, the owner must strengthen the weaker offspring to release the next heart, and then the next, and so on until they’re all free.”

Terra gently caressed the materia before him. “So...how do they work? They’re trapped, right?”

Isa smiled and handed the orb in his hand to Terra. “They are drawn to light. Not only does light strengthen them, but they will also fiercely protect it. Since you are a warrior of light, then they’re very fond of you.”

“So we can make each other stronger,” Terra said as he held the green materia to his chest. It flickered again.

“Yes.”

“Then when you fixed that one barrier materia a few weeks ago… it was broken because the heart was broken, right? And you were able to put it back together? You talked in a language I didn’t recognize, and I recognize a lot because the keyblade translates for me. What was that?”

“Correct,” Isa nodded. “I spoke in the language of the heart. It is something I’ve...acquired over the years. I convinced the heart to mend and I shared both our light with it to give it the strength to do so.”

“And how did you learn to do that?”

Isa faltered. “...I have a deep connection with the lifestream.”

“Oh, is it because you've died so many times?”

Isa's gaze snapped to him, suddenly unreadable. Terra immediately cursed and clamped his mouth shut.

“Shoot, shoot, I think I should stop drinking,” he babbled. “I'm so sorry. That came out totally wrong. I-I didn't even think about it, I just blurted it out, and oh gods, I'm such an idiot I'm so sorry.”

Isa took a deep, measured breath and let it out slowly through his mouth. “It's...fine. I'm fine. And yes, it is because I've died before,” he sighed. “You have a natural affinity towards the lifestream too. You've died as well.”

“Yeah, true. I've died as me, as a heartless, and as, um, you know, Xemnas.”

Isa flinched as if he had been struck.

“Oh hell, I should just shut up and go now. I'm so sorry, Isa, I know that you were close to him and I'm being such an ass,” Terra pushed away his glass of whiskey and ice and made to stand.

Isa grasped his wrist, holding him back.

“Stay.”

“Huh, what?” Terra blinked, face burning in humiliation.

“Stay,” Isa finally released him. “If you want.”

“But...I said something mean,” Terra frowned. “I don't fully understand what happened when Xemnas...when he...you know, but I have snippets of his memories. I know that you were close and I don't want to diminish that even if I don't get it. It probably drives you crazy that everyone keeps thinking that he's going to come back because I'm hanging around Radiant Garden. I didn't realize how cruel it was of me. I swear that I'm not trying t-to taunt you or anything.”

Isa finally raised his hand for silence. Terra's mouth snapped shut.

“Xemnas can't come back. He's dead,” Isa's teal eyes were flinty.

“Oh...okay...well, a lot of people worry about it. Even...even I worry about it.”

Isa narrowed his gaze at Terra and downed the rest of his glass of whiskey in one gulp.

“Have you been to the beach near the town?” he suddenly asked.

Terra shifted uncomfortably, wondering where this line of questioning was going. “Uh, yeah... sometimes I take a walk at night when I can't sleep. It's calming.”

“Let's go to the beach. Right now.”

“Huh? Why? Isn't it closed right now anyways?”

Isa smirked. “I have my ways.”

A half hour later, both men were climbing a fence near the shore with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in hand. Isa led them along the rocky coastline in the dark, navigating it expertly as Terra stumbled and tried not to make an even bigger fool out of himself.

They arrived at a small alcove a distance away from the main beach. It was quiet save for the water lapping at the rocks and the distant warble of sleepy seagulls. The alcove was cozy and mostly dry. There were remnants of an old campfire in the center.

Isa motioned for Terra to sit as he dug through the sand at the far end of the alcove. There, the bluenette procured a bundle of driftwood and storm matches. Within minutes, they had a roaring campfire in the nested alcove as if it were old routine. Isa sat and motioned for the bottle of whiskey.

“This is nice,” Terra murmured with genuine contentment. He took another swig of alcohol at Isa handed it back to him. His throat was nearly numb from the previous drinks he had consumed. “How'd you find this spot? Is it somewhere you go often?”

“Hmm, yeah. Lea and I would come here frequently when we were children,” Isa chuckled. “We'd spar with driftwood and play in the water. We'd smoke and drink and get high and watch the stars together.”

“You sound like you were a rowdy kid.”

“No, just...searching for my place in the world,” Isa reached for the bottle of whiskey between them.

They reached for the bottle at the same time. Terra's hand brushed against Isa's. The keyblade wielder ignored the way his fingers tingled when they touched Isa's. Their hands lingered for a moment too long before Terra laughed awkwardly and pulled away.

“You go first!” he smiled.

Isa nodded, took another throat-burning swig, and handed it back to Terra.

“Have you found it? Your place, I mean,” Terra asked.

Isa was quiet for a moment more before shaking his head. “Not yet. I thought I knew but not anymore. Maybe one day I'll find it. Maybe I won't. Until then, at least I'm in good company.”

Terra's heart skipped a beat at he gazed at Isa's sad, lost smile. He had the inexplicable urge to gather Isa in his arms and bury his face in his hair. It looked so soft and if the shampoos in his bathroom were anything to go by, then it would likely smell amazing.

“Thank you. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I'm happy to be here with you,” Terra stammered. He glanced away and drank again, too afraid to look into Isa's face as if he'd discover _something_.

“...I am too,” Isa said softly.

The silence between them stretched like a piece of warm taffy until it was comfortable and soft. The empty bottle was discarded somewhere in the sand and the fire crackled with warmth.

Every time Terra tried to speak again, he lost his nerve. Isa kept glancing in the middle distance between the mouth of the alcove and then to a spot over Terra's shoulder. Terra wanted to ask what he was looking at, but he supposed that it probably had something to do with the thick whiskey on both of their breath.

“So, uh, it's a full moon. Really bright out,” Terra finally said dumbly as he gazed over the water.

Isa murmured some sound of agreement, and silence fell upon them once more.

“He wanted to see it, you know,” Isa finally blurted.

Terra startled at the sudden interjection. It was easy enough to see that Isa was the quiet type and Terra hadn't minded.

“Who?” he asked.

“ _Him_ ,” Isa took a deep breath. “He promised me that...that once we had our hearts again... once we were complete, we could return to this world, to this beach. He wanted to see the water under a full moon. He wanted to see the lifestream dance. He...never got the chance…”

“Oh... _Oh_ ,” The gravity of the confession hit Terra in the chest like a freight train.

_Xemnas_. Isa was thinking about his former...boss? Partner? Lover? Terra fidgeted, suddenly feeling out of place in his own skin. He should go, but his legs were heavy and his heart yearned to edge closer to Isa.

Just when Terra was about to apologize, Isa stood and brushed off his pants. Terra was going to beg Isa to stay there with him, to not abandon him like a child in the dark, when Isa held out his hand to Terra.

Despite his confusion and shame, a surge of trust fired through Terra's veins. He took Isa's hand.

Isa led the other man back over slippery rocks to the beach as the moon was at its apex. The light shimmered off of the water.

“It's really pretty out here,” Terra marveled.

“Do you feel it? The lifestream?” Isa said.

Terra shook his head, lost on the change of subject. “What do you mean?”

Isa smiled something cryptic and eager and bright and so unlike the Isa that Terra had come to understand in the scant few weeks. It took his breath from his lungs with a sudden gasp.

“Watch.”

Isa handed his phone and apartment keys to Terra, removed his boots and socks, rolled up his long pants, and waded into the water.

“Hey, are you okay to be swimming?!” Terra asked, afraid that Isa might hurt himself since they were both more than a little tipsy. He still didn't understand. Was Isa fishing or something?

In reply, Isa just smiled at him and waded out further until the water was up to his chest.

Then, he moved. He did something that wasn’t quite a dance, but Isa began moving in the water as if he was coaxing it to brush around him. The light reflecting off of the surface shone brighter and brighter until it was completely aglow. The gentle waves around Isa began to turn a brilliant teal, as if they were illuminated from below.

Terra's mouth fell open. That's right. The lifestream. Isa had said that the full moon pulled it out from the world like a rising tide.

Isa raised his arms high, fingers trembling, as if he was reaching for the moon itself, before bringing them back down in a grand motion. The water around him parted in a gentle wave, leaving him standing directly on the sand as the water slowly swirled around him like a barrier.

Then, teal light began weaving from the ocean and into the air. They played and danced in the night sky, twirling together and beaming with sheer, warm _joy_. Water droplets suspended against the stars, reflecting the light like thousands of glowing diamonds.

Terra was mesmerized.

Familiar warmth stung at the corners of his eyes as hot tears rolled down his cheeks, completely unbidden, as he watched the former nobody move the water, move _with_ the water, as if it was an extension of his own body, heart, and soul.

His chest felt full to bursting, as if pure effervescent love and happiness were inflating his heart like a balloon.

A vague shape of another person materialized out of the light and reached towards Isa. Terra couldn't seem to focus on the image no matter how many times he blinked, but he had the distinct impression that this soul was communicating with Isa. The light danced with the bluenette a moment. It reached out and caressed his wet face and Isa _smiled_ , really smiled from the depths of his reconstructed heart. Pure love radiated from them both until the shape dissipated back into the streaming tendrils of light.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the light returned to the water. Teal streams still wove around Isa's feet as he finally lowered his arms and walked back to shore. The water closed behind him like a curtain until the ocean was whole once more.

“I-Isa...” Terra choked, still unaware of the tears on his cheeks.

Isa's eyes were glowing that brilliant ethereal teal as the lifestream's light.

Terra rushed forward and wrapped Isa in his arms, uncaring about the water soaking through his clothes as he openly sobbed against the other man. So many emotions were coursing through him and Isa seemed like a rock midst a whirlwind storm. Joy, sadness, yearning, loss, and a deep ache tangled with his heart like a maelstrom, and not all of it felt like his own.

Isa, smiling and content, raised his hands to Terra's back and returned the embrace. The bluenette, though sopping wet, was riding the blissful afterglow of his performance. His light blue bangs tangled against his cheeks and forehead and his clothes were stuck against his body like a second skin.

“Thank you, Isa. That was beautiful…so beautiful,” Terra's sobs began to quiet.

“Hmm, you’re welcome,” Isa hummed and leaned against Terra’s chest. “It’s a part of me. It’s a part of you, too. It’s a part of everyone. But you and I, we’re closer to the lifestream than others,” Isa muttered.

Terra nodded against Isa.

“We’re different. We’ve died,” he whispered fearfully.

Isa nodded. “Yes, but the lifestream isn't a punishment. It’s...safe. It’s home.”

“Home…”

“ _He’s_ in there, you know. Xemnas. He’s in the lifestream now. That’s how I know that he’s gone.”

Terra felt a shiver run up his spine and he reluctantly pulled back to look into Isa’s glowing eyes. Isa reached up and cradled a damp hand against his hot cheek.

“People might be scared that you’ll turn into him again. _You_ might be scared of that. But you won’t, because he’s not here anymore. He’s happy in the lifestream. He’s finally at peace.”

“Why...are you telling me this?” Terra whispered.

“Because you’re not him. You’re you. You’re Terra, the keyblade master. You're the man who helps people because he cares, but also because he’s scared. You're the man who helped me, who helped the materia. You’re Terra. You’re _you_. And no one will take that from you again.”

Another sob escaped Terra's lips and he buried himself against the crook of Isa's neck. Aqua had told him that he would never become Xemnas again, but it had sounded more like a wish than a fact. The certainty that Isa provided was new and terrifying and relieving. Isa believed in him. The bluenette may not have said as much, but Terra understood the implication.

Isa proved to him that Xemnas was gone.

Terra was Terra.

“Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

Isa didn't verbally respond, but he patted Terra's back comfortingly. Terra felt a shiver run through the shorter man's torso as the high of the lifestream began to finally fade.

“Let's get you home,” Terra murmured. It only took a brief moment to convince Isa to climb up on his back. The bluenette was far too drained to argue, much less to walk back to his apartment under his own steam.

And honestly, Terra was proud to carry the other man. Isa had given him something precious. Terra knew that the former nobody was miraculous, but after Isa had healed the materia and communicated with the lifestream, Terra couldn't help but feel as if he were carrying an emissary of the gods upon his back.

It felt good.

Isa was nearly asleep by the time that they reached his apartment. Terra had an interesting time juggling Isa's boots and fishing the keys out of his pocket without waking the other man. Fortunately, Isa came to as they entered and he slid down from Terra's back.

“Do you, uh, need anymore help? If you tell me where your clothes are, I can pull out some dry stuff for you,” Terra offered.

Isa motioned vaguely to some plastic bins underneath the bed. Terra pulled them out and withdrew a pair of blue pajama pants.

“Get one for yourself, too,” Isa mumbled and motioned to a black pair with silver stars. “That one. It'll still be short on you, but better than wet. Can't let you catch a cold.”

“Huh?” Terra blinked. “I, uh, I was gonna just go back to the castle. You don't need to worry about me, really.”

“Stay. It’s late,” the command fell easily from Isa's lips as it had earlier in the night.

“But where-”

“Stay,” Isa patted the bed. “It's big enough.”

Terra bit his lip. He wasn't ready to be alone again yet. He didn't want to return to the castle, but he also didn't want to wear out his welcome. Isa had some strange ways of communicating and he seemed possessive of his space. Also, it seemed oddly...familiar. It was almost _right_. That thought was terrifying.

“But...” Terra tried half-heartedly. Isa saw right through his ruse.

“Stay.”

Terra chuckled finally, his shoulders sagging in relief. “Thank you, Isa.”

Satisfied, Isa shakily turned his back to Terra and began stripping. Terra did the same. Although he had no shame for his body, he knew that it was only appropriate to give the other man his privacy, especially in the inebriated state that they were both in.

_Especially_ because Terra suddenly wondered if Isa liked men as Saïx had.

Isa all but collapsed into the bed once he was in his dry pants. He burrowed under the covers and tucked himself against the wall. Terra briefly caught a glimpse of something silver and shiny on Isa's chest before he turned out the lights, but he wasn't certain what he saw. Thankfully, the slivers of light leaking in from around the curtains weren't bright enough to show his blush. He should not be thinking of Isa's chest as they were platonically sleeping in the same bed together. Such thoughts felt like a betrayal.

Hesitantly, Terra climbed in as well. As soon as he felt the warmth radiating off of Isa's body, he flushed harder. He had shared a bed with Aqua and Ventus multiple times over the years, so it wasn't as if there was anything inherently intimate about his position. Hell, even after he regained his body again, he slept in Aqua's bed more often than he liked to admit. It was safe to have someone else around. It was comforting. It kept the nightmares at bay.

Would Isa be angry at him in the morning, though? Terra knew that they were still drunk, but it wasn't as if they were doing anything irresponsible. Perhaps if there was an issue, they'd get the chance to talk about it. After all, Terra was realizing more and more that he desperately wanted Isa as a friend and he would work towards that goal if given the opportunity.

“Good night Isa,” Terra whispered, a smile spreading across his lips.

Isa was already asleep.


	5. Into the Stars

Although Isa was nervous about venturing offworld, a familiar thrill shot through his veins. Like Lea, he had never appreciated being _adjusted_ to a specific location. While having a home, a _true_ home, was something he wanted one day, he knew that Radiant Garden wasn't it. It couldn't fulfill all of his needs and there were so many old ghosts that haunted him. He was eager for the opportunity to move on, even if the adventure was likely going to be an arduous one.

His manager had initially given him guff about his leave of absence, but he surprisingly didn't fire Isa. Not only did he credit the shop's survival to the bluenette, but he was also surprised that Isa actually had powers and wasn't just a glorified oddball. Apparently, Isa's manager had thought that all of the aura and tarot readings had just been a show he did to scam people. He thought that even claiming to talk to materia was a certified hoax.

Isa was going to remain on the books at work for a whole year, but after that, his position was going to be permanently filled by another employee and Isa would be out of a job if he missed the deadline. That was honestly more generous than Isa was expecting.

His landlord, on the other hand, was less accommodating. He fined Isa heavily for breaking the lease early, but Isa still found that the fine and storage fees for his belongings was far cheaper than paying rent while he was offworld. Isa even pre-paid his storage unit for two years in case their quest took longer than expected and it was still a smaller price to pay. Besides, he would be fine even if his bank account in Radiant Garden was running thin.

Saïx had squirreled away munny from his missions in various accounts throughout the worlds. The only reason that Isa hadn't tapped into them was because he lacked the ability to form portals anymore and he certainly didn't think that Cid and the Restoration Committee would lend him a gummiship. Thankfully, Terra had already offered to use his keyblade glider to venture to whatever worlds that they needed. If he really wanted to, he could probably just fund their entire expedition with his hidden savings.

Isa was just packing up the last box when Terra returned to his apartment on the back of his motorcycle. The keyblade wielder had insisted on helping in every way possible and Isa gave up arguing days ago.

“Hi, Isa!” Terra dismissed his helmet and beamed. “I returned the trailer to the rental place now since your furniture is all packed into storage.”

Isa couldn’t help but smile at the motorcycle. It wasn’t as ridiculous as the one he’d seen Cloud driving, but it was very... _Terra_.

“Thank you. This is the final box,” he finished taping it and strapped it onto the small luggage rack on the back of Terra's bike.

“Nice! Did you want a ride so that you can check over your storage unit?”

Isa eyed the motorcycle dubiously. He had never ridden one before, but he would be a liar if he claimed to have never thought of it. Lea had teased him in their youth about Isa secretly joining a bike gang because he always swooned over the passing vehicles, but Isa just never pursued it. Hell, he didn't even have a license to drive since he missed out on his teenage years. Besides, it usually wasn't the _vehicle_ that enticed Isa so much as the driver. Thick black leather was been his _thing_ , even before his stint within the Organization.

“C'mon,” Terra coaxed with a smile. “You can sit behind me. There are some handles you can hold onto by your seat, just in front of the luggage rack. If that's not comfortable, you're welcome to hold onto me. I won't let you fall.”

Isa scoffed as if Terra hadn't seen straight through his hesitation. “The handles will be fine,” he grumbled without any heat. Awkwardly, he clambered onto the motorcycle and felt something akin to a newborn calf finding its legs for the first time. But as determined as Isa was to onto the vehicle itself for support, he couldn't help the sudden burst of startled panic as they moved. Isa pitched forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Terra's waist.

Terra chuckled, but otherwise didn’t comment. Isa’s face flushed a dark red that was thankfully buried into the back of Terra’s shirt.

Well _that_ was humiliating.

Isa tried to brood throughout the ride, but it was difficult to dwell in his angst when the wind was whipping through his ponytail and he could feel Terra's body heat through his clothes. The pleasant sensations made him flush again.

Goddess above, he was a fool, wasn't he?

He had barely spoken to Terra on more than a handful of occasions before he decided to embark on this adventure. While he distinctly believed that this was a _very bad idea_ , he couldn't fathom stopping now. He knew what he needed to do, and if he helped Terra save the universe in the process, then that would be a fringe benefit.

Besides, he knew exactly what Xemnas would say about this situation. That knowledge comforted Isa as he dared to pull his face away from Terra's back and watch the town speed past him.

Within a few more minutes, they arrived at the storage facility. Terra held the motorcycle steady between his strong thighs as Isa all but stumbled off. His legs were shaking with adrenaline and his pulse was hammering in his ears. Isa mentally berated himself for his reaction. He had walked through portals between worlds. He had leaped from towering skyscrapers. He had scaled mountains. Riding a motorcycle shouldn't have reduced his knees to jelly so easily.

Without glancing at Terra, he unstrapped the final box from the motorcycle and packed it into the storage unit with the rest of his things. Even though the unit was a small one, his belongings still left plenty of empty space. He really hadn't amassed a life in Radiant Garden, had he? The image was even more proof that he didn't have anything material tying him to this world.

“Oh, hey Isa, guess what I found down at the beach this morning,” Terra interrupted his thoughts.

Isa raised an eyebrow in response.

Terra positively beamed and pulled a bright green materia out of his pocket. “Look! It must have come out of the lifestream during the full moon!”

Neither of them had spoken about Isa's communion with the lifestream, and even then Terra had only mentioned that he wanted to go back and pick up the empty whiskey bottle so that they weren't littering. The silence on the matter was welcome. Isa had a hard enough time understanding what spurred him to invite Terra to his bed in his addled stupor, innocent though it may have ended. He really didn't want to explain why he showed Terra the communion process in the first place.

Isa delicately appraised the materia and handed it back to Terra. “Hmm, very nice. This is a quality barrier materia. It has a very strong heart.”

Terra held the orb close to his chest again and hummed. “I can feel it. Probably not as well as you can, but I can still feel it!”

Isa chuckled and returned to cataloging all of his belongings and what he had packed. If his pocket pack had been made of cloth, it would have burst its seams long ago.

“That should be everything,” he sighed. “Are you ready?”

Terra nodded. “Yep. I didn't have as much to pack,” he chuckled. “Say the word and we'll leave for The Land of Departure.”

“Aqua knows to expect me...?” Isa asked dubiously. He knew that they needed to venture there, but he wasn't keen on the idea of meeting the other keyblade wielders in a location that he couldn't run from.

“Yep! I already let her know that I wanted to check out Master Eraqus' library to see if there's any information on fearlings. I also asked her for a favor,” Terra said.

“What kind of favor?”

Terra almost looked as if he wanted to keep it as some sort of surprise, but he quickly caved. “I asked her to make you an enchanted armor set!” he blurted in a rush.

Isa blinked. “Armor? Like your keyblade armor?”

“Yep!”

“But...I don't have a keyblade?”

“You technically don't need one. It's summoned and maintained by the strength of the light within your heart and soul. Keeping it engaged kinda feels like summoning a keyblade, so I figured that since you still have your claymore then that would be fine. After all, your claymore is definitely a weapon of light, too!”

“And Master Aqua agreed to this?” Isa asked, dumbfounded. “Why would she?”

“Well, I updated her on our mission with the fearlings. She already approved of us investigating the matter, even though she's still admittedly wary of you. But we're gonna travel on my glider because we don't have a gummiship and I just...wanted you to be safe, you know? Without armor, you'll be exposed to the darkness out there.”

“Ah...yes, that's true,” Isa said. He had already considered the darkness and was prepared. But perhaps having an armor set of his own would be better than his current vestments. At the very least, it would cause fewer pangs of loss and longing. “Thank you, Terra.”

“Of course! That's what friends are for!”

A smile quirked on Isa's lips. Yes, friends. Though it may have been years since Isa made a friend, it felt natural to call Terra such a thing.

Once everything was finally in place, Isa dug into his pocket pack until his fingers clasped around the familiar thick material.

“Oh...you kept it,” Terra observed, emotion unreadable.

Isa slipped on the long black coat and fastened the obscenely long zipper. Even though he hadn't worn it in half a decade, the pseudo-leather still remembered the shape of his body as if it was molded specifically for him.

“It will...help until Aqua is able to create another armor set, provided she's willing.”

Terra didn't seem thrilled about Isa's coat, but he didn't say anything further. Honestly, Isa wished that he didn't need it, either. He had been killed and then recompleted twice in that coat. He had committed so many sins with the weight of the fabric tight against his back. It felt heavy in a way that had nothing to do with its material.

“Well, shall we?” Terra forced a smile and patted the seat behind him.

Isa hesitated. It felt like this was more than just running a dangerous errand. This felt as if...as if something was ending. He almost wished that there were someone he could say goodbye to, but alas, there wasn't. It was for the best.

Isa swallowed the thick lump in his throat.

“Yes. Let's go.”

Isa climbed aboard the motorcycle again and didn't even bother with the handles. He pulled up his hood and wrapped his arms around Terra's waist. He felt the other man tense and then forcibly relax again. Terra gently patted Isa's arm.

“Remember. I won't let you fall,” Terra promised again.

Isa nodded dumbly, uncertain if the keyblade wielder was just talking about falling off of the motorcycle, but he couldn't muster the words to say anything.

Within moments, Terra's motorcycle transformed into his standard keyblade glider. It rumbled with a ferocious strength and Isa clung tightly to the brunette as he suddenly felt ill. A tightness behind his naval pulled hard as they took off into the atmosphere at mind boggling speeds. He released an undignified squeak and instinctively clenched his eyes tightly and buried his face into Terra's back once more.

How would his coat hold up in the vast darkness of space? It would be so easy to just...fall. And if he fell off, then would he be lost forever? Would he be reclaimed by the heartless? His hood should double as a sort of breathing apparatus to provide him the necessary air exchange, but what if it failed? What if it wasn't enough? What if the darkness lingering in his heart summoned heartless? What if Terra was hurt because of it?

He felt as if they were spinning in the nothingness. With no gravity to ground him, Isa's stomach churned and his nerves knotted. He didn't dare open his eyes, not even when Terra gently patted his white knuckles.

He vaguely felt Terra's chest rumble through the keyblade armor, as if the brunette was speaking, but Isa couldn't hear him. After all, there wasn't any air in space, and without air, then there was no sound. Isa nearly lost himself to the sensation of the vacuum when Terra took one of his rigid hands and placed it over his chest.

Isa focused. He could just barely feel Terra's heart. It was beating steadily, albeit a little quickly. Even though Isa knew that it defied logic to be able to physically feel it through the armor, he figured it must have had something to do with the inherent nature of it. Isa relaxed by margins. While he didn't completely lose himself to the comfort, he was at least refraining from squeezing Terra to death.

By the time that they arrived in the Land of Departure, Isa's arms were numb and his knees had locked up. How many hours had they flown? Isa lost track of time, but he was grateful that they were finally at their destination.

Terra landed the keyblade glider with practiced ease. Isa barely remembered to put his legs on the ground and to release Terra from his deathgrip.

Aqua, Ventus, and Namine bounded towards them.

“Terra! Welcome home!” Aqua exclaimed. Although Aqua only barely glanced at Isa, Ventus immediately locked onto him and summoned his keyblade.

“Watch out! There’s an Organization member behind you!” Ventus shouted to his friend.

Terra dismissed his glider and stood between Isa and the brandished weapon.

“Hey, it's not what you think, Ven!” he shook his head.

Aqua gently nudged the defensive young man. “I told you that Terra was bringing a friend.”

Ven glanced at Aqua, then shifted his gaze from Terra to Isa and to Terra again. Finally, he withdrew his keyblade and frowned dubiously.

“Are you sure?” Ventus asked, still watching Isa from a distance.

Terra nodded and wrapped his arm around Isa's shoulders. The bluenette nearly buckled with how weak his knees still felt. “Yep, positive! He's helped me out a lot and we're gonna work together for awhile!”

Isa quickly shrugged off Terra's arm and removed his coat. “It's me, Ven. Isa.”

Ventus' eyes widened and his mouth broke into a wide grin. “Isa!? Geez guys, why didn't you say so!?”

The blonde bounded towards the bluenette and wrapped him in a sudden, tight embrace. Isa choked on his surprise, admittedly flustered.

“It's been _years_ since I've seen you and Lea! You jerks need to visit more! I know that everyone is busy, but we're supposed to be friends forever, _got it memorized_?!”

Isa groaned at the catchphrase. “Of all the things I had hoped you would forget, _that_ was at the top of the list.”

“Oh, you two know each other?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah! I met Isa and Lea when they were...uh, closer to my age, I guess?” Ventus laughed. “Though Isa was still taller than me back then. Guess what?! I'm the taller one now!”

Isa chuckled. Ventus was nearly as tall as Terra and his muscles had developed from all of his training. The keyblade wielder was no longer an awkward teenager. “Yes, you and Lea are now the resident beanpoles.”

Aqua chuckled and reached to shake Isa's hand. “It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Aqua, and this is my girlfriend, Namine. You've already met Ven.”

“It's a pleasure, Master Aqua,” Isa nodded and bowed in respect for her title and hospitality. His mouth thinned as he glanced at Namine, however.

The blonde had grown into a young woman, all soft curves and pale skin. Yet Isa could still see the awkward, lost teenager within her body language. Her hands were clasped in front of her tightly, her shoulders were hunched as if she was trying to make herself seem smaller, and she refused to look at Isa beyond a stolen glance.

During the few parties that Lea had dragged him to, Isa had spotted Namine but he had never approached her this closely nor had he spoken to her. This was their first true meeting since Xehanort's defeat.

“I hope you are...well, Namine,” Isa attempted to bridge the gap.

Namine's face twisted into something unreadable before smoothing out again. She gave him a jerky nod, like a wind-up doll. “You, too.”

Although Aqua took note of the exchange, Ventus seemed oblivious to the tension.

“You guys are staying here for a week or so, right? Oh man, that's awesome! I've gotten soooo much better at cooking and I've got some recipes I want you to try, Terra!” the young man grabbed Terra's arm and dragged him up the steps to the castle.

Isa glanced at Namine again. The poor girl seemed ready to break out into frustrated tears at any moment. Her lower lip was worried between her teeth and her brows were crinkled. Aqua was saying something to her in low, soothing tones, but Isa couldn't hear.

He had been a monster. Although he had never directly interacted with Namine, he had still been responsible for imprisoning her in Castle Oblivion with Marluxia and the scientists. Isa couldn't blame her if she still viewed him as a horrific beast.

He deserved it.

“Hey Isa, you coming?” Ventus called to him.

Isa sighed and followed up the steps with leaden legs. He didn't deserve to ask for forgiveness of the poor girl who suffered under his command. The most he could hope was to just stay out of her way. After all, if he had known that Namine would be on the world at the same time, then he would've forgone visiting the Land of Departure altogether. Using his old Organization coat would've been kinder than Isa brazenly taunting her with his mere existence as he begged for an enchanted armor from Aqua and for access to Master Eraqus' library.

“Isa?” Terra set a hand on his shoulder. Isa flinched. “Did you hear me? I asked if you wanted a tour of the castle while Ven's cooking.”

“Yes, that's fine,” Isa absently shrugged off Terra's hand. He hadn't noticed how far into the castle they had already walked and he barely noticed Terra brighten.

If he had been in a better mood, Isa liked to think that he would've enjoyed Terra's boyish enthusiasm as they toured from hall to hall and room to room, but as it was Isa felt wholly undeserving of even a flicker of mirth. Even Terra's stories about various statues and paintings drifted through Isa's ears nearly unheard.

“Am I boring you?” Terra suddenly interrupted.

“Hm?” Isa blinked the fog from his mind. “Oh. No, not at all.”

Terra frowned. “That wasn't very convincing.”

Isa sighed. “My apologies. I suppose that I'm just tired.”

The keyblade wielder wasn't convinced, but he shook his head and accepted the response. “Then c'mon this way. The spare room that Chirithy set up for you is over here.”

“Chirithy?”

“Yeah, he's Ven's friend. He's really shy though and is easily spooked around new people. He said that it's a result of being stuck in some sort of in-between for a long time. I can't say I blame the poor guy.”

Isa hummed in response. He had heard of Chirithys before. They were creatures of light that bonded to keyblade wielders. However, Chirithys were practically extinct ever since the old Keyblade War. They were powerful beings with the supposed ability to travel safely in the In-Between. Likewise, they could travel to and from the inverse, the Void. But if their host keyblade wielder fell to darkness, so would they.

Xemnas had sought them out at one point to no avail. Although the Organization had the darkness-resistant coats, it still would've been better if they could've traveled via less dangerous routes. Also, Xemnas had wanted a Chirithy because he was trying to...

No.

Stop it.

Isa shook his head to keep from thinking of his past lover and his machinations. It was too easy to get lost thinking of Xemnas when Terra was in front of him. Seeing Xemnas' face on another man, making expressions that were very un-Xemnas, was eerie. It was worse when he saw how Terra fought. Something about it just looked...wrong even though it was clearly very right for the keyblade wielder.

And that made the grief in his chest worse. Although Isa could logically separate his memories of his silver-haired love from Terra, sometimes just looking at the keyblade wielder dredged up pleasant memories, old regrets, and an aching emptiness between his thighs. 

Thankfully, they didn't act alike. Where Xemnas had been pensive and reserved, Terra was passionate and outspoken. Xemnas had been selfish and had a fathomless capacity for cruelty, but Terra bled empathy from every pore and he actively strode towards kindness and charity. Xemnas had craved quiet spaces to think, but Terra seemed to crawl out of his skin when the silence stretched for too long.

Most damning of all, Xemnas was dead.

The two men would always be different people, no matter how former enemies feared a repeat incident. Perhaps, in a way, that fact made Isa's grief stronger. Terra would always remind Isa of what he lost. Such torment was surely some sort of cosmic punishment, and Isa couldn't say that he was undeserving of it.

The tour made the feeling that much more overwhelming. After all, Xemnas never had a room to grow up in, or a courtyard playground, or a father figure who loved him. He had been born as an adult, as a bastardized amalgamation of fragmented people, with no heart and only a vague goal imparted by the husk of an old megalomaniac. He had only been able to grow into his very own person towards the end, as the castle came crashing around their ears.

And Isa had understood him. He understood bearing responsibilities that he had never agreed to. He understood being so close to the people around him yet so distant. He understood that sometimes, that distance couldn't be breached. He understood unforgivable sins.

He understood just how hard it was to try and find a meaning within the meaningless.

He _didn't_ understand Terra, especially not the odd expression he was giving Isa. It was something like concern and shame flickering across his handsome face.

“You...sure you're okay, Isa?” Terra asked.

Isa lied. “Yes. I just need to rest for a bit.”

“Well, this is the room,” Terra motioned to a heavy, carved wooden door. “There's a bathroom around the corner when you need it. I can, uh, come and grab you for dinner if you'd like.”

“That's agreeable.”

Terra shifted from foot to foot, but didn't turn away yet. Isa raised an eyebrow.

“I know that this place can be...a lot,” Terra's voice was a quiet plea. “So if you need anything, you can let me know, okay? I'll be there for you.”

Isa blinked at the offer and gave him a stilted nod. “Thank you.”

The keyblade wielder lingered a moment longer before awkwardly excusing himself without looking Isa in the eye. Something like guilt gurgled in the bluenette's stomach. He couldn't think of what he should feel guilty over, but he knew that it had something to do with Terra's passive desperation.

Isa ignored it.

They were friends, but that didn't mean he had to go trying to solve Terra's problems and read between the lines. If Terra needed help, then Isa assumed that he'd ask as he had with the shattered materia over a month ago.

Pushing the pit in his stomach down as if it was a bout of acid reflux, Isa concentrated on unpacking his toiletries. Taking a shower sounded divine after nearly sweating through his coat in a bout of nervousness during their trip. Taking a shower would help him feel cleaner, more than physically so. Even if some sins couldn't be washed away, he could pretend for just a little bit.


	6. Whispered Ghosts

Dinner was quieter than Terra had anticipated.

Namine excused herself from the table early into the evening and Isa never showed. Terra had tried to fill in the awkward silence by talking about his latest mission in Radiant Garden while texting Isa frantically between anecdotes, but Aqua and Ventus had grimaced through the tension. Even Chirithy fidgeted nonstop.

The atmosphere almost ruined the delicious food. Ventus had indeed improved his cooking skills, probably while traveling independently from world to world and apparently, Chirithy was his designated taste-tester, for better and for worse. But Terra's fantasy of having dinner as a group, as something like a _family_ , was dashed.

Even after the four of them had cleared their plates, they still waited for Isa to show. Eventually, the candles burned low and Ventus sighed and began cleaning up the plates. Terra was quick to help, and apologized profusely for Isa's absence. Why had the bluenette stood them up for dinner? Was it not enough that they welcomed him in and treated him as one of their own? Was it not enough that Aqua had agreed to make him an enchanted armor and Chirithy had girdled himself to meet someone new?

Anger bubbled in Terra's gut, even as he spun excuses for Isa. He told the others that Isa had probably fallen asleep. Maybe he wasn't feeling well due to the stressful journey. He must have had a headache or something that kept him from dining with them.

Or maybe Isa just didn't want to spend time with Terra. Maybe he was ashamed to be seen around him outside of Radiant Garden.

The keyblade wielder shook his head to physically abolish the thought. Their companionship was still a fledgling, but he wanted to believe that Isa was sincere when he had called Terra a friend. There had to be a reason why Isa had skipped dinner, even if it wasn't a good reason. After he helped Ventus clean up the kitchen, he vowed to find out.

With his hands still pruney from the dishwater, Terra bee-lined for Isa's room.

Once there, he raised his hand to knock and then hesitated. What was he going to say? A lecture of the likes Eraqus would give him burned on the tip of his tongue, but Isa wasn't a child. Hurt simmered in his chest and he tried to push the lingering hint of betrayal into the pit of his stomach again. He couldn't give into the darkness while he was at home. It was hard enough being back here; he didn't want to disgrace Eraqus' memory with something like _that_.

Finally, he took a deep breath and knocked.

There was no response.

He knocked again.

“Isa?”

Nothing.

Another knock, frantic. “Are you alright? If you don't answer, I'm going to come in,” Terra said, hurt mingling with a new fear that something was wrong.

Just as Terra pulled out his keyblade to unlock the door, he heard a muffled voice on the other side respond.

“I'm fine. Please leave.”

Well.

Terra sighed, but didn't dismiss his key. “Listen, I don't know what's wrong, but you're being a jerk. You didn't respond to any of my texts. You missed dinner. You didn't introduce yourself to Chirithy even after he made an effort to meet you.”

Silence.

“Dammit, Isa!” Terra slammed his fist on the door harder than he intended. “Why are you acting like this?”

Silence.

“Stop ignoring me! I know that you can hear me!” Terra hit the door hard enough to rattle the hinges, this time on purpose. “You're an asshole! I mean it!”

Silence again. That horrific, deafening, strangling silence.

Terra felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes as he pounded on the door. His pulse hammered in his ears and his lungs were tight and his jaw felt like it was bound and he didn't realize that he couldn't hear Isa even if the other man responded. “Stop ignoring me! Please stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for yelling, I just, I just—Just STOP IGNORING ME!”

The door suddenly opened and he stumbled into the former nobody. Shaking, desperate, Terra clung to Isa as the black tunnel around his vision focused on the infuriating bluenette as if it were a single beacon of light within the shadows.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Terra whined as he fell on top of Isa. Both of them crashed unceremoniously to the floor, keyblade forgotten in the hallway. “Don't ignore me, please don't ignore me, I-I-I can't, I can't—“

Isa hesitantly stroked his hair. Words floated to his ears as if they were carried by a distant tide.

“You're safe, Terra. You're safe. Just breathe with me, just like that, nice and slow,” Isa's hushed words shook as hard as Terra's body.

The soft litany and the gentle hand carding through his hair slowly broke through his haze. His pulse slowed and he hiccuped as his lungs filled with blessed air.

“D-don't...don't ignore me...” he whimpered. “I-I was trying so h-hard, I was yelling as loud as I c-could but no one could h-hear me...”

Isa wrapped his arms tighter around Terra's broad shoulders. “I heard you. I didn't realize...I didn't realize...”

“W-why?”

Isa squeezed Terra tighter. “I...I'm sorry.”

“Y-you better be sorry...” Terra sniffled as relief flooded his body and left his shoulders sore and his sinuses full.

They laid like that for a while longer until Terra finally felt some modicum of clarity return to his mind. It was only then that he realized he had been bodily laying on top of Isa and clinging to him like a plush toy. Stiffly, he pushed himself up, muttering apologies for their position and blaming his panic attack for his face flushing. He wiped his cheeks on his sleeve and hoped that he hadn't gotten any snot on Isa's shirt.

Isa sat up as well, but he didn't bother standing just yet. They sat on the floor across from each other and Terra looked everywhere in the room except for Isa. It had been a long time since Terra had even stepped foot in one of the guest rooms. They were hard to be in. Eraqus used to task Terra with dusting and sweeping the rooms while Aqua preferred to change the bedding. They only had guests on the rare occasion, but the rooms were always kept clean in case a traveler or friend needed refuge from the dark of the cosmos. After Xehanort, the rooms had been unused. Though Aqua had locked the castle during her time away, dust had still collected like old memories in the In-Between. The rooms had been filthy when they returned home after their battle with Xehanort and it was a team effort to clean the castle from top to bottom. Aqua called it 'airing the laundry' to lighten the task, even though it hurt her just as much.

Being here still _ached_. Back when he was a child, Eraqus had let Aqua and Terra take turns choosing new bedding. They would sneak out of their bedrooms at night and into a guest room and pretend as if they were on an adventure on another world. Sometimes, even Eraqus would join them and play along as the otherworldly inhabitant. They would create blanket and pillow forts and play with shadow puppets like a fancy theater. Eraqus would cast a light spell that looked like stars dancing on the ceiling to lull them to sleep.

Now, it was so...empty. Even though Isa had his duffel bag on the foot of the bed and a few granola bar wrappers were sitting on the nightstand. It was too empty.

“I'm sorry,” Isa murmured again.

Terra snorted despite himself. His voice still shook, but his mind was clearer as hurt settled in his heart, both for the past and for the present. “Why didn't you come to dinner? Why did you ignore me?”

“I...don't have a good excuse.”

“Then give me the bad excuse.”

“I was afraid,” Isa said at length.

“Of what? That's not good enough. Chirithy was afraid too, but he tried.”

Isa sighed. “I was afraid of...everyone. I was prepared to face Aqua and beg forgiveness for my sins, but...I didn't know Namine was going to be here.”

“I told you that Aqua and Namine are in a serious relationship. Why did you think she didn't live here? Try again.”

Isa made a sound of frustration. “I wouldn't expect you to understand. Saïx was— _I_ was a _monster_ , Terra! I didn't directly hurt Master Aqua, or Ven, or Chirithy. I can apologize to them. I can grovel to them for participating in schemes that led to their misery. But Namine? I _hurt_ her!”

Terra's eyes flashed. “Excuse me? You think I don't understand that?! Gods, do you really think you're the only one around here who's ever messed up!?”

“Then what would you have me do?!” Isa snapped.

“You could start with apologizing!”

“But that's not enough!”

“Yeah, it might not be enough. That would be for Namine to decide. But you know what? It's better than doing _nothing at all_!”

Isa finally stood and threw his hands in the air. “I knew I shouldn't have come to this world. This was a mistake.”

“So you just want to run away? Is that why you were still in Radiant Garden, too? Was it too hard to face Roxas and Xion and Axel in Twilight Town?” Terra jumped to his feet.

“Don't bring them into this!” Isa roared.

“Why not!?! I get it! It's hard to face your mistakes! But you can't just run from them forever and expect everything to be okay!”

“What do you know!? You just got possessed! It wasn't your fault that Xehanort took advantage of you! You're completely absolved of all guilt a-as a heartless! As a nobody! None of it was your fault! I was just WEAK! That's why I lost my heart! It's my own fault that I became Xehanort's pawn the first time, and then I did it again _willingly_!!”

“You don't know anything!!!!” Terra summoned his keyblade back to his hand and threw it to a nearby wall. “I KILLED HIM, Isa! I KILLED HIM WITH MY OWN KEYBLADE!!”

Isa jumped as the blade pierced the wall. His own hand twitched as he struggled to refrain from summoning his claymore. He had died by a keyblade more than once and just the sight of it so close to him made his skin crawl.

“Killed who?” he asked.

“Eraqus!” Terra yelled, face screwed with hurt and rage. “Master Eraqus! The only father I had!”

“I...I didn't know.”

Terra slumped against the door frame and scrubbed his hands down his face. “Xehanort hadn't possessed me yet. Eraqus turned his blade on Ven and I-I-I just... I just... Then he turned on me. And I...”

Terra slid down the wall until he was sitting against it, face buried in his hands. “I killed him...Eraqus took me in as a child and raised me and I _killed_ him.”

Isa slowly moved to the wall and sank down beside Terra's shaking frame. The moment dragged on longer than Terra would've liked. Memories of Eraqus smiling at him, praising him, training him, all melted together with his final moments as Terra struck him down. The betrayal that heaved across his master's face still pierced Terra's heart even after all of these years.

Isa finally snorted at himself. “...I've been saying and doing all of the wrong things today, haven't I?”

“Yeah, you have,” Terra muttered.

“I'm sorry.”

“For specifically...?”

A sigh. “I'm sorry for not going to dinner. I'm sorry for not apologizing to Namine. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry for the shitty things I said.”

“Why did you ignore me?”

“It's...hard to deny you. Especially when you make a good argument.”

“So you just wanted to be stubborn? That's dumb.”

“Yeah, it is,” Isa agreed. “I didn't know that it would make you panic, though.”

“I...I spent a decade locked in my own heart and mind. I don't remember everything, but I remember screaming as loud as I could and...no one could hear me. No one knew I was there...” Terra shuddered and Isa dared to lean against him, shoulder to shoulder. “I'd rather someone be yelling at me or-or fighting me or arguing than...silence.”

Isa was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “You don't want to be alone. Then I suppose it's a good thing that we're traveling together. If you'll still fight alongside me, that is.”

Terra perked his head, something like hope hesitant to cross his eyes. “You...still want to fight together? I mean, side by side, not with each other, though that'll probably happen again, too.”

Isa thought until the corner of his lip ticked upwards. “Yes. I want to see this through. Even if I have to apologize to Namine and Master Aqua and the others.”

“And me?”

Isa looked at Terra's wet eyelashes. “You too. I'm still sorry.”

Terra nudged Isa with his arm. “Then I forgive you. Thanks. And I'm sorry too, for saying such awful things.”

“Hm, I'm not sure that you should be thanking me yet, but I also forgive you,” Isa grimaced. “How did...how do you handle an apology of such magnitude for...back then.”

“Hmm...slowly. But straightforward. Don't beat around the bush, just say what you're sorry for and own up to it. It took a while for Aqua and Ven to forgive me. Like, they didn't blame me at all for the whole losing-my-body thing. The _other thing_ was harder. They thought of Master Eraqus as a father, too.”

“I can't say I'm good at admitting my mistakes, nor am I known for my patience.”

“Then call it good practice. We're human now. We're gonna mess up again at some point, though hopefully not as badly as we have in the past. So we'll need to figure out how to take responsibility for it and ask forgiveness from people we love.”

Isa grunted in affirmation. “Then...then I'll try to talk to Namine tomorrow. And I must apologize to the others as well for missing dinner.”

Terra hummed and leaned more of his weight against Isa. The proximity felt nice, even though they had been yelling at each other just moments ago. It felt like the calm after a storm, when the ground was still wet and the animals were slowly coming out of hiding.

“It's getting late,” Isa finally prompted, voice barely above a whisper.

Terra agreed. “Are you tired?”

“Not yet.”

“Then...did you want me to leave?”

“Not really.”

“Are you lonely, too?”

“...Yes.”

“Then would it be weird to ask if you wanted to go to my room? I mean, I have a couch in there and it's comfortable. I don't want to be in here anymore, but I also don't want to be alone either,” Terra admitted.

“Let's go, then,” Isa nodded and reluctantly stood. He offered a hand to Terra. The brunette smiled, eyes still puffy, as he accepted the offer. Isa hesitated a moment longer, awkwardly staring over Terra's shoulder, and then grabbed his duffel bag off of the bed and threw away his trash.

They walked silently back to Terra's room. His heart was raw. He felt vulnerable and skinned to his bones. Thinking about Eraqus, about mistakes and forgiveness, had drained him. The terror of being unheard and unseen clawed at his heart. He just wanted to spend the rest of the evening pretending like he didn't have such monumental sins weighing on his back, and selfishly, Isa's company reminded him of his own existence.

And Isa...Isa understood. Although his mistakes were different, he understood the magnitude and the fear of his hands never washing clean. Isa didn't shine like some guiding beacon. Maybe he would some day, but his light was more subdued, like a star twinkling in the distant sky.

Moonlight streamed in through the windows in the hallway as they walked, illuminating them in silvers and blues. Terra caught a glimpse of Isa's hair shimmering like liquid steel and his breath stuck in his throat. He averted his gaze, uncomfortably aware of how ethereal Isa looked in the moonlight, just like the night with the lifestream. His eyes even seemed to glow that same fathomless teal.

Isa stopped walking and glanced at Terra. The keyblade wielder cleared his throat, desperate to look anywhere that wasn't Isa's piercing irises. “So, uh, nice night, huh?” he blabbered.

Isa blinked. “...Yes? Are you...?”

Terra's breath caught in his throat and he choked. Did Isa think that he was trying to make a move on him? Terra had never really flirted before, but he had heard some of Aqua's pickup lines.

“N-no, no! Of course not! I wasn't trying to be, uh, weird, I just—!” 

Isa motioned to the door. “This is your room, right?”

“Oh. OH!” Terra fumbled for his keyblade and unlocked the door. “Sorry, uh, I'm not all here,” he laughed, suddenly nervous. He was such wreck.

Isa raised an eyebrow, but didn't pursue the exchange.

Gods, Terra was suddenly acting like an idiot. First, he was furious at Isa, then he panicked, and now all he could think about was what Isa's hair looked like under the moonlight. His thoughts drifted to Isa's pale skin, too. After all, Isa had something silver on his chest. Terra bet that it would catch the light particularly well, even if he didn't see what it was.

He was still hurt by the bluenette's actions, but that hurt was slowly being replaced with curiosity. Isa had actually opened up a little to him earlier, even if the words had been said in anger and fear. Isa was scared and lonely, and his guilt was part of his self-imposed isolation. Yet Isa also wanted to improve himself, even if by margins.

They were more alike than Terra thought.

Once inside the room, both men sat on the couch closely together, yet still too far away for comfort.

“Thanks for uh, for staying in here with me. It's hard enough being in the castle, but the night is the worst. It's too quiet,” Terra said.

Isa nodded. “I don't mind. I feel similarly about nightfall.”

“You do?”

“Yes. That's partially why I chose that apartment complex in Radiant Garden. There's always someone around. The downstairs neighbors frequently fight, the tenants next door play card games and smoke on their patio until the dead of night, dogs bark at every passing car. It's noisy. It's _perfect_.”

“I wouldn't have expected you to like a loud home,” Terra chuckled.

“I lived in the same building as a dozen other people and hundreds of barely-controlled monsters for a decade. It's odd to sleep alone; I don't care for it. After all, I rest better when I'm not alone. I rest _best_ when I'm surrounded by people I trust.”

“So you like to sleep with other people?” Terra asked.

Isa suddenly blushed furiously in the low lighting. “Not necessarily _with_ someone, but not alone...?” he tried.

Terra cocked his head to the side, confused by Isa's sudden embarrassment.

“It's just been so long that I had forgotten how much safer it felt to sleep with someone I trust near me. I was reminded of this when you spent the night at my apartment,” Isa said. “I know that it's childish.”

“It's not,” Terra tried to hide his joy at Isa's trust in him, “With all that people like us have been through, it's any wonder we can sleep at all sometimes.”

Isa hummed in response.

“Can I ask you a question?” Terra prompted. Isa nodded. “Why did you really decide to help me investigate the fearlings?”

Isa chose his words carefully, as if he was afraid of letting loose a secret. “When you came to the materia shop in Radiant Garden, I realized how isolated I had become. I was recompleted five years ago. I've spend four of those years living in Radiant Garden. I didn't have any friends. I wasn't close to my coworkers. I wasn't fond of the Restoration Committee and they weren't fond of me. I was...rebuffed several times when I attempted to reconnect with old comrades. I even tried to find my family, but they were so convinced that their son died years ago that they didn't believe that I had returned. Lea is the only person I speak to on a semi-regular basis. No one else reached out to me. No one pretended that I existed even when I tried to build new bridges. Until...you. You arrived and I realized that I was...lonely.”

“Oh,” Terra smiled. “You want a friend, right?”

Isa blustered half sentence excuses and averted his gaze to the nearest wall.

“I'm honored to be your friend, Isa.”

The bluenette's gaze snapped back to him, comically wide-eyed.

“Are you certain?” Isa whispered as if Terra was making some grave mistake.

“Yeah, of course.”

Isa smiled and Terra felt his breath catch in his chest. The bluenette was so reserved and stoic that such a genuine and grateful expression rocked Terra to the foundation.

“Then I'm honored to be your friend as well, Terra.”

The keyblade wielder felt the world around him melt away. Isa's smile was warm and soft. His pierced lip was plush and his cheeks were still pink from blushing just moments ago. Terra leaned closer to him unconsciously, barely catching a whiff of the shampoo. Isa didn't pull away. If anything, the bluenette seemed to scoot towards him as well.

“So, um, friends good...huh?” Terra stuttered dumbly. He winced at himself.

Isa looked perplexed for a moment and then chuckled. “Yes,” Isa tentatively settled his hands on top of Terra's knuckles. “Thank you, Terra...for giving me this chance.”

Terra's brain shorted out at the touch. It was casual, but for some reason it felt like lightning was shooting from his hand all the way up his arm and straight into his heart. He swallowed hard and was grateful that at least Isa wasn't trying to hold his clammy palm. He probably would've fainted if the odd feeling twisting in his gut got any stronger.

“Y-yeah. I'm welcome—I mean, _you're_ grateful—shoot, I mean--!!!” Terra blundered.

Isa chuckled again and Terra felt his face heat up to a veritable inferno.

“We should get some rest. It's been a long day,” Isa suggested.

“Yes! Rest!” Terra stood up too quickly and flexed his arms to keep the nervous energy at bay. “I uh, I have a bunch of blankets in the closet. If you want the bed, you can have it! I can take the couch, or uh, we could share the bed, or uh, I could sleep on the floor! Just make yourself at home!”

Isa held up a placating hand before Terra could wind himself into a tangled mess. “The couch will be fine for me,” his handsome, moonlit face scrunched a little, suddenly conflicted. “However...are you certain that you want to share the room with me?”

“Well, yeah? Why wouldn't I?” Terra finally busied himself with pulling out blankets from the closet.

Isa seemed to have a difficult time putting the reason into words. When he did, he took care to look anywhere except for Terra. “...I'm gay. Your friends may get the wrong idea. Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?”

It was Terra's turn to be perplexed. “Why would it?” he finally said. “Aqua and Namine are gay. I've never fallen in love like they have, but I know I'm probably not straight???”

“You're...not?” Isa's eyes finally locked onto Terra as if seeing him in a new light.

“Uh, I don't think so? I mean, I had crushes on some girls when I was a teenager, but I think that a lot of men are uh, really pretty, too?” Terra shrugged. He had talked about his sexuality with Aqua a few times, but he hadn't come to any solid conclusions. “Master Eraqus used to tell me that I'd try to marry a lot of the boys my age whenever we went off world when I was a kid. I don't remember much of it, but he told me that I'd get crushes on them really easily and I'd propose to them with like, shiny rocks and flowers and stuff. It's pretty embarrassing, but I guess it's kinda cute?”

Isa smiled. “That is pretty cute.”

“Yeah, I must've been an _adorable_ kid!” Terra laughed. “But anyways, I don't think that anyone is going to get the wrong idea or whatever. We're friends. There's nothing wrong with keeping each other company when we're both lonely.”

“And you're not afraid I'm going to take _advantage_ of you?” Isa smirked.

Terra choked and fumbled the stack of blankets from the closet. They fell upon his head as he flailed to try and catch them.

“Um, N-no?! Uh... _would_ you?” Terra stuttered as he picked up the bedding.

“Never,” Isa scoffed, “I prefer my partners willing.”

Terra almost felt disappointed and he had no idea why. Almost. He shoved the armful of blankets and pillows at Isa. “W-well good! 'Cause I wouldn't do anything like that either without consent!”

Isa smiled again and took the bedding. “I expect nothing less.”


	7. Making Amends

When Isa awoke in the morning, he heard Terra and Aqua sparring outside.

“Terra! You're letting your guard down on your right side!” she merrily called him out and struck.

Terra barely blocked her hit. “I told you! I'm still sore from riding all day yesterday!”

“Uh huh, blame a sore arse on your glider, why don't you!” Aqua teased.

Terra choked and yelped indignantly. He followed it up with a rude gesture at Aqua.

Isa watched out of the window. His mind was still in turmoil from everything he and Terra had talked about the night before. They were officially friends now. It was an odd thought. After all, the only long-term friend Isa had ever made was Lea, and that had been decades ago. He wasn't certain how it went, or if there was a specific way to make friends. Was it something like formal courting? Isa didn't think so. After all, Lea tended to make friends easily and he was an impulsive loudmouth.

Saïx _may_ have been friends with Axel and Demyx at one point, but that had quickly dissolved when Xehanort dug his claws deeper into Saïx's soul.

Isa shuddered, desperate to dispel the memories. He had only spoken to Demyx's somebody, Myde, a couple of times since recompleting. Myde had made it clear that, although he appreciated the outreach, he had no desire to remember any of his years as a nobody and didn't want contact with anyone from his past. It had been too painful for him.

Isa had respected the request and hadn't contacted him since.

Isa had tried to befriend Dulor as well. After all, Luxord had been a fairly neutral individual who was took his time passing judgment until after he saw the story unfold before him. But the man, still ever the gambler, declined. Apparently, most of his gaming buddies were from the old group of nobodies. Since they actively hated Saïx, then they didn't like Isa. Since they didn't like Isa, Dulor saw no reason to befriend him lest he lose his circle of friends. Isa hadn't been worth it and he honestly couldn't blame him.

Isa had no inclination to befriend Lumaria or Elrena, even before they ran off together to goddess-knows-where. Even hated him, Ienzo was afraid of him, and Dilan and Aeleus hadn't forgiven him. All of the keyblade wielders and heroes of light were understandably wary of him and he didn't feel as if it was his place to attempt to develop a friendship with the people he had actively tried to kill in his previous life.

The few times Isa had attempted to make friends outside of the people of his past, he had crashed and burned almost immediately. No one had understood him. He had even tried some of those online dating apps on his gummiphone, but the results had been the same. He couldn't explain the trauma he suffered through without sounding like a madman, but ignoring it led to misunderstandings and snap judgments.

In the end, Isa had just resigned himself to his loneliness. He removed all of the hangout and dating apps from his phone. He erased all of the various numbers in his contacts. He deleted his social media profiles online.

If no one wanted him around, then he wouldn't try.

The only other friend he thought he might have was in Ventus, but Ventus had been Lea's friend primarily. Isa had just felt like an interloper riding on Lea's coattails. Besides, he hadn't spent time around the young keyblade wielder in so long that he didn't know where they stood. It should've been easy to reach out to him, to just call him on the gummiphone and chat or arrange a time to socialize, but it wasn't. It was hard. Solitude, whether self-imposed or not, was easier.

At least Isa was still friends with Lea through sheer determination, even if their friendship was entirely different thank before. They had been inseparable as children, but the rift between them had spawned even before they lost their hearts. They weren't the same people now, for better and for worse. Some part of Isa still desperately cared about Lea. Some part of him even loved the redhead. But residual jealousy and resentment boiled beneath his skin. Isa knew that Lea felt similarly. Lea still resented Isa. Lea was afraid of him. Even decades later, Lea felt guilty for what happened to Isa, as if it had been his fault.

It hadn't been. But no matter how many times Isa told him so, Lea continued to hold that guilt close to his heart. _Saïx_ had taken advantage of that weakness. Isa was torn between wanting Lea to heal from it and wanting Lea to suffer with it so that he'd never forget what he did.

That couldn't be a good basis for a friendship, but it was all that Isa had. Until now, of course. Now, Terra was his friend. The new development had its own share of tangled strings attached. It felt _wrong_ to befriend the person that Xemnas had died for, not only out of respect for his former lover but because it felt so _desperate_. Did he really miss Xemnas so much that he'd latch onto Terra like a pathetic whore? He knew in the depths of his heart and soul that Xemnas would never return, so what could he possibly hope to expect out of Terra? The keyblade wielder may have looked similar to his dead lover, but they were nothing alike. Terra was a burst of sunlight on a bright summer morning. Xemnas had been curious, but manipulative and insincere. He had been brilliant, but he had also been egotistical and possessive. Xemnas had learned to love, finally, but it had been too late. Now, Xemnas was nothing, as he had always proclaimed. And it hurt Isa's heart.

Isa knew that Xemnas and Saïx's relationship had been unhealthy. They had manipulated each other time and again. They had used each other physically, emotionally, and professionally. It was by chance that they fell in love, and when they realized it, it scared them so much that they nearly killed each other. Ultimately, it was their pride that led to their downfall. If they had been bold enough to admit their feelings—or at least that they _had_ feelings—then they could've fled before Sora ever slaughtered his way through the Castle that Never Was. They could've worked together to thwart Xehanort before the battle in the Keyblade Graveyard. They could've remained together, even if they were fugitives from both the darkness and light.

But they hadn't.

At least the vessel that had suffered was whole again. Xemnas had expressly wanted to give Terra another chance at life to spite Xehanort. Although the nobody would've preferred to survive after the battle instead, they both had known that it wouldn't be possible. Xehanort's soul had been so deeply embedded into Xemnas that extracting it too quickly would've killed him and keeping it would've led to Xehanort's return. Although they both knew that there had to be a method to extract it without killing Xemnas, they simply hadn't had the time to figure it out. Xehanort had grown too powerful through their inaction and they had been cornered into an ultimatum; to be used and die, or to defy and die.

So instead, they both sacrificed themselves for a better future. Terra became whole again. Isa recompleted. Xemnas' soul joined the lifestream.

Isa liked to think that such a sacrifice hadn't been in vain. Terra was alive again. He was complete. He was smiling and laughing in a way that Xemnas never could. That's why Isa had to stay with him. He had to protect the keyblade wielder from the fearlings. He had to protect him from their past mistakes. It's what Xemnas would've wanted.

Isa smiled down at the keyblade wielder sparring his friend below.

Eventually, Terra spotted the bluenette in the window and paused long enough to grin from ear to ear. Keyblade in hand, he waved at Isa. Of course, Aqua took advantage of his mistake and tackled him to the ground.

“Don't let your guard down! Not even for pretty boys!” she giggled and wrestled him into a headlock.

“Ahh! Aqua! C'mon, get OFF!!!” he laughed and tried to grapple her. Although he was physically stronger, it seemed that Aqua had a way of targeting weak points. She took full advantage his sore back and hips by putting pressure on them so that he wouldn't be inclined to fight back.

Finally, she released him and held her stomach as she doubled over and laughed. “Oh man, that was great! It's been way too long since we've sparred, Terra! You need to come home more often!”

Isa thought that he saw a flicker of uncertainty pass Terra's face, but he couldn't be sure because they were interrupted when Namine arrived with towels and two bottles of water.

“Aqua, are you teasing him?” Namine laughed.

Aqua used one of the towels to wipe the sweat from her brow. “Just a little bit! I haven't gotten the chance to in a long time!”

“Hey!” Terra laughed between gulps of water. He looked back up towards Isa and smiled again in that dopey sort of way that made Isa's heart beat harder.

Namine followed his gaze, but Isa didn't stick around to lock eyes with her. He quickly ducked out of view as if he was caught red-handed.

“What are you looking at?” he heard Namine ask.

“Hmm, just daydreaming I guess. Thanks again for the water and towel, Namine. I've gotta go now!”

Oh great, Terra was probably going to come and see Isa. He felt guilty for interrupting their sparring session, so he tried to make himself scarce before the keyblade wielder could see him. Isa quickly folded the blankets he used and placed them on the back of the couch. He thought that he was making good time, but was in the middle of dressing when Terra suddenly burst into the room.

“Good morning Isa!” Terra beamed.

Isa thankfully pulled his trousers up at the same time that the door swung open, but his chest was still bare. He blushed as Terra's gaze roved over the thick scars on his ribs and locked onto the simple, silver, barbell piercings on his nipples.

“Good morning, Terra” Isa stuttered as he turned his back to his friend and quickly fastened his trousers.

“Oh! G-good morning! Wait...I already said that...” Terra mumbled.

“Is something wrong?” Isa dared to ask as he fished a clean shirt from his bag.

“N-no! I was just...um...I didn't know you had...scars! Yeah, scars! Like, not on your face? Like, on your chest! But not your nipples, definitely not uh, those!”

Isa looked down at his torso and ran his fingers along the web of tissue that overlapped under his heart and branched around his side. They were pale after years of healing, even they it didn't have the same malleability as the rest of his flesh.

“They look almost like burns. Do they...hurt?'” Terra was closer than Isa thought.

“Sometimes they sting when I wander too close to the darkness,” Isa admitted. He figured that Terra might've seen them from the night that he communed with the lifestream, but he supposed that it had been too dim in his apartment. The scar tissue wasn't that much paler than his already ghostly-pale skin.

“Did a heartless or nobody...?”

“No. These are scars from a keyblade. Sora gave them to me when he killed me. Twice.”

“Oh...”

Isa slipped on a black shirt and a long vest with fabric that flowed behind him when he walked. “Light dissolves darkness. That's why the look like acid burns. All of my other scars I earned as a nobody didn't remain when I was recompleted. Only the scars from the fatal wounds remain.”

“What about...?” Terra motioned to his own face and made a light 'X' motion.

Isa grimaced. “I received that wound before becoming a nobody. I'd rather not talk about it.”

“That's alright, sorry if I asked questions that were too personal,” Terra apologized.

“You did but...but I suppose I'd tell you eventually,” Isa smiled weakly at his friend. “If we're going to travel together, then you'll likely see them again. I'd rather not have us walking on eggshells about it.”

“Well then, thanks for trusting me.”

“You're welcome,” Isa lied, although he had fully intended to hide his scars for as long as possible. At least Terra was so accepting. It felt good to share that part of him with Terra. It felt good to talk about the scars and not have to explain what a keyblade was or break down the differences between light and darkness without sounding like a maniac. Isa nearly had few dates-turned-one-night-stands over the last few years years until his partner saw the scars winding around the side of his chest. Then they asked questions. And then Isa always kicked his date out of his apartment since his mood was suitably ruined.

“Well, did you sleep alright?” Terra asked as he made his own bed. The covers were still rumpled as if he had leaped out of bed in the morning without thought.

“Yes, the couch was adequate,” Isa said, even if his shoulder's protested a little.

There was a knock at the door. When Terra answered it, Ventus beamed at him.

“Breakfast is almost ready!” he chirped and glanced at Isa. “Are you going to actually join us this time?”

Isa winced. “Ven...”

“I'll leave you two to talk... Gotta shower!” Terra grabbed some clean clothes and scrambled out of the room with his bed still only half made.

Isa sighed. He may as well get this over with. At least he could still call Ventus a friend for the time being, though it may not last much longer if the blonde didn't accept his apology.

“Ven, I'm sorry for my absence last night and for not communicating about it. I would be honored if I could join everyone for breakfast.”

“Alright,” Ventus crossed his arms, “but why did you do it?”

“I was overwhelmed and my negative thoughts got the better of me,” Isa admitted. “I didn't feel as if I deserved to sit at the same table as people that I had wronged.”

“What do you mean?” Ventus asked honestly curious.

“I...to you, I owe you an apology for perpetuating your slumber,” Isa looked at a spot on the wall. As much as he wanted to stare at his feet, years of ingrained stoicism kept him from debasing himself. “I worked with Xehanort to capture Kingdom Hearts, first as an unwitting pawn, then as an active participant. I attempted to kill Sora on numerous occasions. Even though I didn't know that your heart was within him, it was still a mistake that could've directly proved fatal to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend. I understand if you no longer want to speak to me aga—,”

“I forgive you,” Ventus cut him off with a smile. “For all of it. I forgive you. And honestly, I owe you an apology for not being a better friend, too. I just...I wasn't reaching out to you because I thought that you didn't want anything to do with me since you had grown up and I hadn't. I'm sorry that I didn't ask about it. I was kinda hoping...like, selfishly, that maybe one of the reasons that you came to this world was to see me again. I know that's not the case but...I'm sorry.”

“I forgive you, too,” Isa said, throat tight with emotion. “And although various circumstances have led me here, I am very happy to see you again.”

Ventus threw his arms around Isa and held him in a tight embrace. Isa returned it, hesitantly at first, and then firmer.

“I missed you, Isa,” Ventus' voice trembled. “I missed everyone so much and I'm so lucky that a lot of people are okay after Xehanort tried to destroy the universe for a decade straight, but I was so sad that my friends had changed while I...hadn't. I was asleep while everyone else was fighting. I thought that everyone had changed too much to want to be my friend anymore.”

“Never,” Isa said. “People do change sometimes, and sometimes friendships may end. But I still consider you a friend, Ven. Nothing that Xehanort did was your fault. Nothing.”

Ventus shuddered against Isa. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” Isa smiled. “Now, when the hell did you get so tall?” While Ventus was entitled to his sorrow and fear, Isa preferred it when the boy was smiling from ear to ear.

Ventus pulled back, eyes moist, “It's called puberty, duh!” he laughed.

Isa laughed with him. Now that the tension was clear, they chatted easily and ventured to the dining hall together. Isa finally met the nervous Chirithy and apologized for missing their introduction the night before. Chirithy seemed wary of the apology, but accepted it nonetheless. He said that any friend of Ventus' was a friend of his.

Thankfully, Ventus was able to arrange a quick moment for Aqua and Isa to talk as well. Isa apologized for his part in Xehanort's schemes and for missing dinner. Aqua apologized that she had failed to stop Xehanort years ago. Both forgave each other easily. Aqua said that getting that closure was important for healing. Isa agreed. He hadn't thought of it that way before, but it made sense. Asking for and earning forgiveness felt rewarding.

Of course, he knew that there was a larger hurdle to jump in regards to Namine.

Thankfully, he managed to quietly intercept the blond girl. Namine nearly hid behind Aqua, but the gentle keyblade master nodded to Namine to encourage her. Namine stepped forward, gaze drawn to her feet and her trembling hands clasped in front of her.

“Namine...” Isa started softly, trying to be as docile as possible. He had rehearsed multiple ways of initiating the apology process throughout the morning. Granted, it had all been conversations in his head, but it was the best he had. “If possible, I'd like to talk with you later. I owe you many apologies, but I don't want to corner you. I'd rather you make a choice whether to speak with me or not. If you're unwilling to grant me an audience or if you require more time, I'm willing to oblige as best as I can.”

Namine exchanged a tense glance with Aqua again. There was a silent exchange between them before Namine made a face and nodded.

“Yes, I think I like the idea of gaining some closure. Perhaps after breakfast would be a good time?”

“That sounds perfect. Thank you, Namine,” Isa bowed his head and retreated to the kitchen with Ventus.

Although he kept his posture rigid and composed on the way there, he nearly collapsed against the countertop once he was behind closed doors. He braced himself, arms shaking and forehead breaking out into a fine sweat.

“Did it go alright?” Ventus asked, a worried eyebrow raised.

Isa nodded, shook his head, and then shrugged. 'I'm not certain. But I'm...grateful. Namine agreed to hear me out even though she doesn't owe me anything. I only hope that it helps us both.”

He winced at the words even as he spoke them. He was starting to sound like Terra and Aqua—like a hero of light. But he wasn't a hero. In fact, he was the farthest thing from it.

“Then you did alright,” Ventus praised.

Isa nodded, feeling paler than usual, and stood straight to assist bringing breakfast to the table with Ventus and Chirithy.

Although Isa anticipated that they'd eat in silence, it was anything but. All of them were conversing companionably, especially when Ventus brought out his specially handmade scones. Isa was genuinely impressed by them and Terra was praising Ventus' improvement nearly nonstop.

Namine didn't speak directly to Isa, but that was to be expected. At least she felt at ease enough to converse with the others. Isa felt a small spark of jealousy that he was unworthy, but he quickly dismissed it. This situation wasn't anything worth feeling jealous over. Namine had agreed to speak to him in her own time, and he wasn't going to jeopardize it with ill emotions.

“Isa, are you up for measurements later this afternoon?” Aqua asked.

“For the armor, correct?” Isa said.

“Yep! I went through the library this morning and I found all of the spells and information I need. I'll have to get your measurements before I gather materials since I need to know what I'm working with.”

“Have you made armors of light before?” Isa inquired.

“I've made ones for Namine and Chirithy, but the armors are very, hmm, finicky things. It's always best to have all information on hand before I proceed,” Aqua explained. “I'll also need to get a grasp on your control over light and other elements. Would you be willing to spar with me at some point as well?”

“Yes,” Isa confirmed. “Although, I may be out of practice.” Which was a partial lie. Although Isa hadn't fought against anyone in years besides random weak heartless and nobodies, he did keep his forms in shape. He often went to the beach in the dead of night to practice. After all, the constantly shifting sand helped keep his stances fluid and the guise of night kept innocent bystanders at bay. Sometimes, even Aerith would join him with her staff and they'd spar under the moonlight.

But to fight with real intent to win? Isa hadn't felt that urge in years.

“Awesome! Then we'll arrange something for later today!”

“In the meantime, I'll check out the library,” Terra said. “I need to see if Master Eraqus had any information about the fearlings. Would you mind helping me at some point, Isa?”

Isa nodded. It was strange to imagine that he was currently the most knowledgeable person in the room regarding the matter. He glanced at the spot over Terra's left shoulder.

“Yes, I may be able to narrow down your search,” he said.

“Great! Then let's finish up this _AMAZING_ breakfast—thanks again Ven and Chirithy!—and then we can get on with our day!”

Everyone agreed with a laugh or cheer. Isa tried to smile through his grimace.

After he helped with cleanup, he noticed that Namine was suspiciously missing. He did his best not to allow concern and fret to eek into his heart and focused on just helping Chirithy with dishes while getting to know him better. Apparently, the small creature had been isolated in the In-Between for thousands of years. It was no wonder that he was a social wreck. Thankfully, Isa wasn't much better and they nearly bonded over their shared incompetence.

Finally, Isa received a text message on his gummiphone. It was Namine.

_'We can meet in Aqua's study when you're ready. It's the large oak door to the left of the lion statue on the first staircase.'_

Isa gulped louder than he intended to.

“Well, I can finish up here. Go on, go do what you need to do,” Chirithy encouraged Isa.

Isa thanked his new acquaintance and followed the directions. When he arrived, he nearly had to hold his breath. He was intimidated. It felt as if he were going to the principle's office as a child, or when he had to report a failed mission to Xemnas. But there shouldn't have been a reason to fear Namine on any physical level. That put him at ease...somewhat.

Namine was standing next to a high-backed chair behind an orderly desk. She motioned to one of the opposing seats. Isa sat down, but Namine remained standing. She fidgeted like the child she no longer was, straightening up the already straight paperwork and wringing her hands together.

“So...” Namine began, “what is that you wanted to say?”

Isa took a deep breath. Although it would be so easy to just run away again, he knew that he had to do this. He needed to do it for Namine...for Terra.

“I'm sorry for the misery that I've caused you. I'm sorry for hurting you and keeping your captive. I'm sorry that it took me five years to apologize.”

Namine's lip trembled and she clenched her fists by her side. Her jaw seemed to grind a few times before she finally spoke. “I was so scared for so long. Even after the Organization was gone, I kept having nightmares. I blamed you. I blamed Xemnas. I blamed Marluxia and Larxene. I even blamed Axel. But through it all, the person I blamed most was myself. _You_ made me feel that way. And...I don't know if I can forgive you. I like the idea of it, but...I don't know.”

Isa nodded. He understood the magnitude of his sins. Anything she would offer would be more than what he deserved. “I didn't necessarily anticipate forgiveness,” he admitted. “Many of the things that I did left lasting scars, and I'm not here to take them from you. I just thought that you deserved at least this much. You deserved far more than a simple apology, but that may be all that I can offer.”

Namine sniffled as she fought back her anguish. “Why'd you do it?” her voice shook like a fragile leaf in the autumn winds. “Why did you do such bad things? Why'd you say horrible things?”

“I was a jealous, petty, bitter man,” Isa admitted, finally breaking his gaze of the wall and staring at his hands in shame. “I wish that I had a better excuse than that, but it's true. I sacrificed everything to keep Axel safe and to find our friend. But then, things...changed. I realized that our friend never existed. I gained some relationships and I lost others. Those losses were the fuel for my hatred and bitterness. And then...I took it out on everyone else. The pieces of my heart were hurting, and I wanted to make others hurt, too. For that, I'm profoundly sorry.”

Silence stretched between them. The clock on the wall ticked. The trees outside rustled. Namine bit her lip to keep from breaking into tears.

Finally, she nodded. “Alright. I accept your apology, but I don't know if I can forgive you yet.”

“I understand,” Isa said. “Just granting an audience with me is more than I could've asked for, but you also allowed me to say my piece. Thank you, Namine.”

Isa excused himself in a hurry. His stomach was twisted in tight knots that threatened an explosive rebellion. Disgust welled in his throat alongside the bile. As he rushed, he nearly ran into Aqua in the hallway. She ventured into the study as soon as Isa exited. He vaguely overheard Namine finally burst into tears, but he was already walking as quickly as he could down the hallway without breaking into a sprint.

He knew that things weren't amicable between them, but that was alright. He never expected as much. At least he had done as Terra suggested and apologized. Such an act was alien still, but ultimately Isa knew that he had to make his amends if he was going to show his face around the castle. He wanted the armor of light from Aqua, and he hoped that they could find more information on fearlings from the library. He wanted to remain friends with Ventus. Ultimately, he had to apologize for being a vile disease in order to gain those things. It was a small price to pay compared to the things Saïx had done in the past.

He thought about hiding in the guest room he had initially been offered, but he decided against it at the last moment. Terra had mentioned research in the library. The thought of assisting the keyblade wielder eased some of the sickness in his stomach. Isa texted him, got directions to the library, and went to join him.


	8. Moonlit Euphoria

They put off measurements for another day, but Aqua wished to spar with Isa before dinner to get a feel for his power.

Terra briefly wondered if it was vindication for Isa making Namine cry.

“You keep hesitating!” Aqua called out as she struck Isa's claymore twice before he launched an attack at her. She dodged, and kept him on the defensive.

Isa grit his teeth. Even Terra could see that he was hesitating. Was it something to do with the fact that Isa had been killed by a keyblade? The mental image of Isa's brutal scars shot through Terra's mind and he shuddered. Despite everything that Xehanort put him through, Terra didn't have any physical scars. He had thousands of mental and emotions ones, but no physical ones to justify them. Although Aqua told him that he didn't need physical scars to justify metaphysical ones, he sometimes selfishly wished that he had them nonetheless. It would make his pain feel more...real.

Along with the scars came the image of Isa's silver nipple piercings. Terra shivered for a different reason. He had the inexplicable urge to know what they could feel like under his thumbs. Would they be smooth? Would they be as warm as Isa's flesh or would they be cold? Would they make Isa feel good? They looked painful, but Terra was at least worldly enough to know that they shouldn't hurt after they healed. His thumb absently rubbed circles on the edge of the book he was reading.

“C'mon, Isa! You can do it!” Ventus cheered from beside Terra. Terra nearly dropped the book and choked on the shock in his throat.

“Aw, watch the fight, will ya? You can read later!” Ventus nudged Terra. Terra nodded sheepishly and ignored the blush threatened to spread over his cheeks as if he had been caught red-handed.

Aqua was far more agile than Isa. Although the former nobody was fast, his claymore was heavy and it slowed him down.

Finally, Isa changed to a different tactic. He kept his claymore on the defensive, but he began casting spells. First, he cast haste on himself. Aqua was unaffected by his next spell, slowra, but she did seem surprised. Next, he cast fira and followed up with a swing of his claymore to fan the flames in her direction. She dodged, but Terra could smell a bit of burned hair.

Terra closed his book. Like Ventus had said, he could read later. Right now, it was fascinating to watch Isa fight.

Aqua moved in close to Isa, ready to strike, but he cast magnet as she did. Although she wasn't pulled into the spell's epicenter, it was enough to throw her off balance. Isa struck her with the flat of his claymore and she went flying through the air. Terra winced sympathetically.

Although she landed on her feet, it was obvious that she knew that it could've been a fatal blow if he had used the blades on his claymore.

Isa smirked and bright blue flames licked out of his chest and down his arms. His claymore caught on the ice-blue fire and ignited like a pyre. His movements hastened further. He swung at Aqua with a speed he didn't previously have and he fired spell after spell.

Aqua's keyblade vibrated every time she blocked against Isa's claymore, as if the energies were on varying polarities. She couldn't grapple him without burning herself on the ice flames, so instead, she switched to magic attacks, too.

Their spells collided in the air and guttered with a clap like thunder. Brilliant light flashed so brightly that Terra and Ventus shielded their eyes.

Finally, Aqua unleashed a massive thundaga spell at Isa. He blocked with a barrier spell, but otherwise dug the tip of his claymore into the ground and finally took a knee.

Panting, the flames around him extinguished and his claymore disappeared in a flash of light.

“I'm out of mana,” he surrendered quietly.

Aqua took her cue and dismissed her keyblade. She doubled over, panting and sweating.

“Oh man... I didn't know that you could do such crazy magic!” she exclaimed between breaths.

“You're quite the mage yourself, Master Aqua,” Isa panted. He finally stood up and they clasped hands in friendly sportsmanship. “I knew that you were a spectacular keyblade master, but I didn't know that your real strength lay in magic.”

“Master Eraqus always said that I had an affinity for it!” Aqua beamed. “You're really in tune with your spirituality, aren't you? That was some insane control over life magic! I've never seen anything like it! You even managed to conjure flames out of it! _FLAMES!_ ”

Isa shrugged. “In tune? Yes, that's one way to put it,” he said cryptically. They sat on the steps in front of Terra and Ventus.

“Have you always been aligned with it? How'd you learn? I've heard that it's ridiculously hard to master,” Aqua asked as she chugged some water.

“Hmm, I've been able to use it for most of my life. At the very least, since I was a teenager. I wouldn't claim to be a master, however.”

“So you didn't have any training? That's amazing!” she laughed. “Well, it's a good thing you're so proficient with magic, especially light and life magic. Since you're not a keyblade wielder—no offense—your armor will rely on it. Normally, having a keyblade helps to focus the light energy in someone's heart. Without a keyblade, you'll need to focus the power of your heart and soul to conjure the light energy necessary to sustain the armor.”

Isa actually felt relieved at that. “Then it won't be a problem for me to wear it, even considering...the past?”

“Nope, so long as you keep a clear heart, it should be fine. Although as a warning, your armor won't have as much defense as, say, Terra's. Again, it's because he has a keyblade. An armor that you wear would be more susceptible to shattering, especially if you lose focus or if you're really injured.”

“So steer clear of tough situations, huh?” Isa laughed. “That won't happen any time soon. I suppose I'll just need to practice with it.”

“Hey, we're all willing to help you with that!” Terra patted Isa on the shoulder. He consciously kept his thumb from rubbing a circle over Isa's firm muscle. “Anyways, me and Ven are going to get started on dinner. We'll see you there, right? And maybe tomorrow, we can watch you guys have another awesome sparring match!”

Isa chuckled. “We'll see about that. I might be too sore to move.”

Aqua gently elbowed Isa in the side. “Then we've gotta work on your stamina while you're here!”

Isa protested. Everyone laughed. After Terra and Ventus excused themselves, Isa's smile drooped. Terra was eager to flee from the awkward urges he was having, but at the last moment, he noticed Isa's demeanor change. Was Isa alright? Terra hovered nearby, out of Isa's range of sight. Although it was rude to eavesdrop, he genuinely wanted to ensure that Isa was okay. The bluenette had already proven that he kept secrets at his own expense.

“Aqua, are you angry with me?” Isa quietly asked.

“Hm? Do you mean for your conversation with Namine earlier?”

“Yes.”

Aqua paused and played with the cap on her water bottle. “Actually...I'm not certain. I want to say yes. I want to be mad at you because the woman I love is upset. But...but I forgave Terra for falling to the darkness. The darkness even consumed me before Sora and our friends brought me back from the brink. It would be hypocritical of me to not be able to forgive you. It seems to me that you're trying to be a better person, even if you may not admit it outright. Although I don't know your motive, I believe in you. And, although Terra may not always be the best judge of character, he believes in you, too. That's enough for me to give you this chance. And while I can't speak for Namine, I know that I don't personally hold any ill feelings towards you, Isa.”

“Thank you,” Isa breathed a sigh of relief.

“Don't get me wrong,” Aqua said, “if you hurt Namine again, there will be repercussions. My forgiveness isn't a free pass to be a jerk. Also, you'll still need to finish making amends with everyone else on your own terms.”

“But I already asked for forgiveness. What do I do now?”

“Well, now you have to really earn it. I can't tell you how to earn it, that's something that you're gonna need to figure out for yourself. For me, I'm doing what I can to make things right to earn my forgiveness. I failed as a keyblade master all those years ago. I couldn't protect my friends from Xehanort. But I'm determined now. I won't fail again. I'm going to be there for my team, and I'm going to do whatever I can to keep the worlds at peace. I know that it's a large task, but it's not insurmountable with my friends by my side.”

“Your friends are your power...heh, just like Sora,” Isa mused.

“Yep,” Aqua leaned back on the steps and looked at the sunset sky. “I'm pretty strong on my own, but my friends make me feel invincible.”

“Then here's to the power of friendship,” Isa raised his water bottle like a glass of champagne. He bumped it against Aqua's bottle and they both laughed.

“Yep, friendship!”

Terra smiled and finally went inside. His chest was warm. Isa was trying to make new friends, and he had admitted to his past mistakes without hiding from them. Although they all likely had more to learn from each other, at least it was a start. Terra was honestly looking forward to spending more time with Isa, to get to know him better.

Terra had been thrilled when Isa joined him in the library earlier. They hadn't gotten much work done, but they had talked a lot. It felt...nice. Isa spoke to him as an equal. Although Ventus and Aqua never belittled Terra, he sometimes felt as if they didn't want to compare the magnitude of their sins because it would be unfair to Terra. His were far more grievous than theirs.

But Isa understood terrible deeds. He was wracked with guilt just as much as Terra was. Although Terra didn't want anyone else to suffer as he did, it felt...companionable to have the opportunity to heal alongside a person who was in the same boat.

With Isa by his side, he didn't feel lonely anymore.

Dinner went better than breakfast had. Although Namine was still understandably avoiding Isa, she seemed more at ease. There was a tired acceptance in her eyes as she actually asked Isa to pass something down the table to her.

Over the next few weeks, her discomfort eased. She even managed to tell Isa good morning on a few occasions. Although it wasn't particularly quick progress, it was something that all of them were proud of. Namine wasn't required to forgive Isa by any means, but she was making a choice to accept him.

During their stay on the Land of Departure, Terra gained experience and proficiency with his new barrier materia. Isa showed him how to channel the energy and how to speak with it. On the night of the full moon, they went down to the small shoreline on the other side of the world and bathed the materia in the lifestream. Isa claimed that it helped to energize and purify them. Regular cleansing would keep the darkness at bay. In a bid to further strengthen the bond between materia and user, Isa also suggested that he keep the materia by his side while he slept at night. Although Terra sometimes felt childish cuddling a materia like a stuffed animal, it was surprisingly relaxing. He could feel his heart connecting with it in a way that he hadn't anticipated.

Aqua was working hard on Isa's armor. She stayed up well into the night and only went to bed after Namine badgered her. So far, the armor was coming along well. She managed to attune it to Isa's specific life magic and heart wavelength. With those accommodations, the armor would better defend Isa from the darkness and from attacks.

Just before the armor was nearly finished, Ventus reluctantly left the Land of Departure for another mission. He had complained because he wanted to spend time with Terra and Isa, but he knew where his duties as a keyblade wielder resided. He had insisted on hugging everyone before he left, with a fervent demand that it wasn't goodbye and that they'll hang out again soon. Isa had promised to keep in touch with him throughout their journey. He even put in a weekly reminder on his gummiphone so that he wouldn't forget.

Terra and Isa still read through Master Eraqus' library. They had managed to find a few books that mentioned fearlings by varying names. They had been called darklings, souleaters, and harbingers. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be a clear recipe to defeat them.

“Get this,” Terra said as he thumbed through paragraphs written in ancient ink, “' _The fearmongers strike at partial souls and devour them with terror and darkness. To eradicate the darkness is to eradicate the fearmonger. The keyblade warrior must abolish any trepidation within their hearts. It's the strength of their courage that will enable their light to pierce through the fitful malignance.'_ ”

“That already aligns with everything else we've found,” Isa sat back and sighed. “Fight a fearling with its antithesis—courage and light.”

“Then maybe there isn't a greater secret,” Terra shrugged. “Maybe that's all there is to it.”

Isa winced. “Maybe...” he said, clearly unconvinced.

“Why wouldn't it work?”

“The soul would still be incomplete,” Isa said.

“Huh?”

“A fearling is an emotional type of darkness that preys upon a shattered soul. If you clear the darkness, then the soul isn't necessarily saved.”

“It isn't? Won't it go back to the lifestream, like how hearts go to back to Kingdom Hearts? Or like how unversed just dissipate those negative emotions?” Terra marked the passage he had read and closed the book.

“Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. And if they don't return to the lifestream, then the darkness will find them again and the cycle will repeat.”

“Then how do we guide them to the lifestream?”

“I...don't know,” Isa said.

Terra frowned. “What about how you commune with the lifestream? I mean, you can talk to materia, so why can't you talk to the souls within the fearlings?”

“A heart is different than a soul,” Isa shook his head. “Although I can understand both a heart and a soul, a soul cannot understand me. A heart can communicate through speech as well as emotions. Souls only communicate through emotions and...well, being devoid of such for a decade has crippled my ability to speak to them.”

“Ah...” Terra said. “Is that...what happens to nobodies, too? I mean, a nobody is a body and a soul. What happens when we slay them?”

Isa shrugged. “The body dies. If the soul is strong enough, it'll find its way to the lifestream.”

“And if it isn't strong enough...?”

The question hung in the air, heavy as a swinging guillotine. “Then it breaks.”

“And then it becomes a fearling.”

Isa nodded. Terra cursed.

“You mean to say that although Sora and his friends saved dozens of worlds from the heartless and nobodies, they also inadvertently created more monsters?” Terra cursed again.

“Yes. Xehanort created artificial heartless. The people who were victimized by those heartless may have left their soul and body behind as a nobody. If said nobody was destroyed, then the body would be destroyed but it may have left the soul behind. Without a place to go, the soul would easily shatter under the strain and darkness would prey upon the pieces to create fearlings.”

Another curse.

“And how to we stop this cycle?”

“I don't know,” Isa admitted.

“Well we have to try!” Terra slammed his fist on the table. Isa jumped and Terra immediately regretted his outburst. “I'm sorry...it's just...it always comes back to that old bastard! It's always Xehanort's fault!”

He hung his head as guilt boiled within his chest. Tears sprang unbidden to his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. “It's always...my fault,” he whimpered.

With his eyes squeezed tight, he didn't see Isa stand up. For a moment, he worried that Isa was going to walk out of the library, to leave him behind. Terra held his breath and tried to brace himself for the worst. His pulse thundered in his ears and he felt his panic rising. Instead, he felt a cool, tentative hand on the back of his neck.

“Terra, it's not your fault. Fearlings have always existed, even before Xehanort's terror spree. Although they are more numerous now, it's not a problem without a solution. With the power of your keyblade, you can release the soul shards from darkness. Even if the shards become infected again, you'll be able to keep fighting until they can find a way back into the lifestream where they belong.”

“But what if...what if I can't...” Terra dared to open his eyes. Isa was in front of his face, brilliant teal eyes determined.

“You can. You will. _We_ will, because I'll fight alongside you. Together, we'll free the souls and lead them home.”

Terra lunged at Isa and wrapped him in a fierce hug. He probably held him too tight if the sharp gasp was anything to go by, but he couldn't help himself. Isa believed in him. Isa wouldn't leave him alone. They could fight together, and Terra felt more confident than ever.

“Thank you, Isa,” Terra choked. He finally released his friend. “I'm sorry for...for that. For breaking down a little.”

Isa chuckled a little and slid his hand up Terra's jaw and cradled his cheek. Without warning, he pressed their foreheads together. The gesture was warm and intimate and it made butterflies spring to life within Terra's stomach. His cheeks practically catch fire beneath Isa's calloused palm.

“You don't need to hide your hurt from me,” Isa promised with a blush. “We're friends.”

“I-I won't,” Terra confirmed with an audible gulp. “But you, too. Don't hide from me.”

“I'll do my best,” Isa's smile tightened.

Terra didn't know what that meant, but he would take what he could get. Reluctantly, he pulled away and shuffled through the books again. He had to move his box of food off of the precious tomes. Aqua had brought home dinner from her off-world errand that evening, and Terra and Isa had eaten together in the library. If Eraqus had known that he was using the books as a coaster, then Terra would've been in big trouble.

Suddenly, inspiration struck.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, catching Isa's attention again. “What if we can like...catch souls? Not in a bad way, but like, box them up and bring them home?!”

Isa looked at him quizzically.

“Okay, let me sort my thoughts,” Terra struggled as he flipped through one of the books with soul enchantments. “Xemnas made a fake Kingdom Hearts to attract hearts, right? It was like, a vessel that he intended to use for whatever crazy plan he had.”

Isa frowned, but nodded.

“So what if we make something similar but you know, not evil? What if we could create some sort of-of-of takeout box for soul shards to keep them safe until you could release them into the lifestream? You said that the lifestream gets really strong and surfaces during full moons. If we could release the souls during the full moon, directly into the lifestream, then they could go home!”

“That's...not a bad idea, actually,” Isa mused. “But having a box of broken soul shards would make us a target to the darkness in the meantime. We also must ensure that it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands.”

“Yeah, but the soul shards would be safer with us than out on their own. After all, we're both warriors of light. The more darkness that comes at us, the more we're going to fight. The more fearlings we defeat, the more souls we'll save! We'll keep the boxes on us at all times and we'll fight anyone or anything that targets them!”

Isa smiled. “I actually like that plan. Let's try to find a way to make this 'takeout box' you're proposing.”

“We can call it something way cooler than that,” Terra laughed. “Maybe just simplify it? A soul box? Soul chest? Something like that?”

“How about we worry about the name after we create it.”

“Alright, killjoy,” Terra chuckled.

The next day, they proposed the idea to Aqua. Surprisingly, she approved and, after explaining that there were probably more fearlings infecting the worlds due to the chain of events, she decided that she wanted everyone to have one. Even if the others couldn't commune with the lifestream, they could at least keep the soul shards safe until Isa or someone else could free them.

“You should speak to Aerith in Radiant Garden,” Isa suggested. “She's...like me as well.”

Aqua had raised an eyebrow at the admission, but hadn't questioned it further. Instead, she immediately reached out to brief Leon and the Restoration Committee of their plan. Thankfully, Aerith was eager to help. She said that it was her job as an Emissary of the lifestream to usher souls back home.

Within a few days, they had a prototype and multiple enchantments on their weapons. The enchantments on their weapons allowed everyone to see the souls, not just Isa. The boxes—different random containers with similar enchantments—were solid and would only open under the power of light or immense strain.

Aqua tested the prototype herself in Radiant Garden under Aerith's supervision. Aerith was kind, but adamant that no harm come to the souls. She wanted to ensure that collection and release was as humane as possible.

Within a week of Terra and Isa brainstorming the idea, they had final products. The soul boxes were dubbed Animarum, courtesy of Aqua.

Somehow, within all of the manic chaos, Aqua had also managed to finish Isa's armor. The keyblade master called them to the main hall and presented him with a summoning shield of his very own.

He fastened it to his left bicep, just like how the others had it. It fit like a glove and it felt as if it was magnetized to his arm.

“The enchantment on it prevents it from falling off without you removing it manually. When you're ready to transform, focus the light from your heart into the summoning shield as you would into your claymore,” Aqua explained. “Go ahead, try it out.”

Isa took a deep breath and did as he was told. Terra knew the feeling he was experiencing. It would've been a familiar pull of light from his heart traveling up his arm, as it had thousands of time before. However, Isa would need to focus that energy into the shield instead of his hands. In a flash of light, he was donned in silver-blue armor.

Terra whistled in admiration. “Wow, you look good in that!” he gave Isa and Aqua a thumb's up.

“How does it feel?” Aqua asked.

Isa moved around. “Surprisingly light. I thought that it was going to be heavier than this, but I must say that I'm more than pleasantly surprised.” He summoned his claymore and took a few swings to test his range of motion. It looked perfect.

“Thank you so much, Master Aqua,” Isa dismissed his weapon and bowed.

“You're welcome, Isa. It's the least I can do since you're going to help us eradicate the fearlings,” Aqua said. “And just so you know, Namine totally designed the look of it.”

If Terra could see Isa's face, he would bet that the bluenette was furiously blushing. He knew that Isa and Namine had managed to talk a few more times in the past few days, and to his understanding, they had agreed to try and forge a new future.

Namine was standing off to the side of the main hall, almost out of sight. Isa bowed to her as well. “Thank you, Namine. For everything.”

She gave a small smile and folded her hands in front of her. “You're welcome. I hope you like the design. Terra's armor is still the only one with bunny ears, though.”

Isa felt the fins on his helmet. They were shorter than Terra's and swept back, almost like the spikes of his hair.

“I do _not_ have bunny ears on my helmet!” Terra protested in futility. He joined in laughter with the others. He was never going to live that down, but it felt _good_.

“Also, we have a lead on the location of a very strong fearling,” Aqua sobered. “I've seen reports about darkness regaining control of that world, but it's not fitting the same frequencies as heartless alone.”

“Where's the world?” Terra asked. “We'll take care of it, no problem!”

“The Keyblade Graveyard,” Isa murmured.

Everyone looked at him, surprised.

“Yes,” Aqua said quietly. “It's in the Keyblade Graveyard. How'd you know, Isa?”

He shrugged. “Just a guess.” If Terra didn't know better, he would've assumed that Isa was hiding something.

Aqua didn't look convinced, but she didn't pursue it.

“Well...we'll still take care of it,” Terra declared with less conviction than before. He must've paled considerably at the news, but he wanted Ventus, Aqua, and Namine to believe in him. He was stronger than before, and he wouldn't be fighting alone. Xehanort wasn't going to pounce out of the shadows like...last time.

“We should prepare,” Isa suggested in the quiet room.

After food, camping supplies, curatives, and tools were packed, Terra and Isa sparred in their armors into the evening. Isa had lost concentration a few times and his armor had dissipated, but he was quick to regain focus. It would be something for him to practice as they traveled.

Finally, they retired. They were still sharing Terra's bedroom, much to both of their comfort. They were both still wide awake from the adrenaline of sparring, but soon, fatigue would claim them. In the meantime, they sat side by side on the couch, each in pajamas.

“So, you're telling me that even if fall off of your glider in space, I'll still be alright? Will I be able to still breathe? What about body temperature regulation?” Isa asked.

“You're still afraid of that? Aw, you'll be fine, Isa. I wouldn't let you fall, and even if you did, you'd be alright. The armors have their own atmosphere that you can breathe in and they keep our body temperatures normal. It means that like, we could go somewhere super hot or super cold and still be fine. Also, since we have atmospheres within the helmets, then you can hear and speak to people over the communication device that are built in. The sound won't be lost in space.”

Isa still seemed uncomfortable with the notion. “...I don't want to be lost,” he finally admitted.

“I won't lose you,” Terra said. “I promise.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm...I suppose that'll do for now,” Isa teased and tweaked the tip of Terra's nose. He hadn't realized how closely he had leaned into his friend. Their faces were nearly touching. Their thighs were resting against each other. Terra could feel Isa's naturally cooler body temperature beside his. It was...nice. Almost too nice.

They chatted well into the night. Eventually, Isa leaned his head against Terra's shoulder and Terra swore that his heart was going to leap out of his chest and dance a jig right in front of them. He wrapped his arm around Isa. Isa didn't pull away.

“Hey Isa...?” Terra suddenly asked, throat thick as he swallowed. Isa hummed in response. “Do you think...did you mean it? When you said that I shouldn't hide my hurt around you?”

“Of course I did.”

“Oh...then would it be okay if I didn't hide...uh, my not-hurt from you, too?” Terra stumbled through the words.

“Yes? That should be fine.”

A hot blush spread down Terra's cheeks to his neck. He held Isa tighter against his side and tried to force the words he so desperately wanted to say off of his tangled tongue.

Every time he closed his eyes, he couldn't help but see Isa's beautiful fine blue hair reflecting pure silver in the moonlight. He was captivated by his ethereal teal eyes. He was entranced by his laugh, by his sly little smiles and quirks of the lips.

“Then...c-can I ask another question? It might not be something a friend would ask, though...” Terra whispered. His hands were getting clammy. Certainly Isa could feel it through his shirt, right? Terra's face was burning hotter. He turned slightly to look at Isa in the face, determined to watch his expression regardless of the answer.

Isa reached out to caress his cheek again, just as he had days ago, and gave him an encouraging smile and hummed an affirmative. Terra's face was aflame everywhere their bodies met. He leaned into the gentle touch and a sudden hunger gnawed at his stomach.

“C-can I kiss you?”

Isa froze, his mouth falling open and his eyes wider than before. His hand paused against Terra's cheek, but he didn't pull away.

Terra snapped his own jaw closed, suddenly awash with cold fear that Isa would walk away. He was about to start groveling and apologizing for such a stupid question.

“Yes,” Isa finally croaked, his throat too tight for other words.

Terra beamed, fears allayed. Mind blank save for blinding euphoria, he closed the gap without further thought. Their mouths met clumsily. Their noses bumped. Isa grabbed the back of Terra's head to urge him closer and accidentally pulled his hair. Terra wrapped a tentative hand around Isa's waist and scooted him until the were hip to hip. Between murmured apologies, Isa arranged his legs so that he was nearly in Terra's lap. Isa's lip piercing pressed against Terra's, and he had the inexplicable urge to nibble on it.

Terra had never kissed anyone like this before, yet it felt so natural, so normal even. It was as if Terra had done this hundreds of times before with Isa. They slotted together like lost pieces of the same puzzle. His kisses became more confident and he pulled at Isa's pelvis to drag him fully on top of his lap. Heat pooled in his stomach as he held onto Isa's hip, eliciting a needy gasp that made his grip firmer. Terra opened his mouth to his friend's wandering tongue and followed it back to Isa's mouth. He fed upon Isa's kiss. He tasted it, inhaled it, absorbed it, reveled in it. They only broke away to breathe, and even then, not enough oxygen filtered into Terra's lungs.

“My Moonlight...” Terra praised Isa softly.

Isa's mouth trembled and his body shuddered in Terra's lap, yet he didn't pull away.

Their lips met again, breathless and pure and desperate and sweet and hungry. Terra rubbed circles with his thumb on the jutted edge of Isa's hip, just barely palpable through his trousers. Isa whimpered and a lick of flame curled towards Terra's groin.

“Terra, Isa! Surprise! I'm home early!”

The bedroom door slammed open. Isa jumped out of Terra's lap as if it were an electric chair. Terra summoned his keyblade, ready for attack. Ventus stood in the doorway, hands held up defensively.

“OH! UH, NEVERMIND!!!! I was gonna ask if you guys wanted to watch a movie but, uhhhhhh I'll just leave you two alone!” Ventus squeaked and skittered out of the room with a panicked apology.

“Wait! Ven!! Arrrrrgghhhhh...” Terra bemoaned and dismissed his keyblade. What had he intended to say? That it wasn't what it looked like? Because oh yes, it definitely had been what it looked like. Terra glanced at Isa. The bluenette was looking away, face beet red and legs tightly crossed.

“Sorry about that...um...” Terra offered.

“No, it's fine, it's fine,” Isa sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Terra. “We should get some rest. Since all of the preparations are made, we should leave in the morning.”

“Oh...” Terra paused, uncertain how to ask if they could continue kissing. Perhaps the moment was just too far gone now. Isa was wound as tightly as an industrial spring.

“You should calm Ven down,” Isa suggested suddenly.

Did he want Terra out of the room that badly? Terra's stomach sank and he stood, willing away the sudden tightness in his chest. “Yeah... I'll go do that. Um...will you still be here?”

Isa nodded jerkily.

Terra sighed and practically jogged out of the room. What had been warm and exciting was reduced to something tense and painful. Did he even have the right to ask Isa to kiss him again? Did he want to continue? They had just finished declaring their friendship as official, and Terra just had to ruin it, didn't he?

Cursing himself, he sought Ventus. It was even harder to tell the other man what had happened, but he left it vague. Yes, they were still friends. No, they weren't dating. Yes, he had invited Isa to his room. No, Isa hadn't pushed himself onto Terra.

By the time he finished talking, Terra felt wrung out and dry. The emotional roller coaster of the evening had chewed him up and spit him out. He hoped to at least talk about it with Isa when he returned to his room, but the other man was curled on the couch already, back to the room, and apparently dead asleep.

Terra sighed. The burst of passion he had felt just moments ago was sinking into the pits of dread. He wanted to explore what it had meant for himself and for Isa. Unfortunately, it was going to need to wait until the morning.

Sleep eluded him for several hours yet after he climbed into bed. He stroked his mouth, remembering the vibrant heat of Isa's lips and tongue against his own as thoughts dashed through his mind. It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning that a fitful sleep finally claimed him.


	9. The Maw of Darkness

Isa did not want to talk about the kiss.

The bluenette had feigned sleep well into the morning before he finally nodded off to Terra's quiet snores. What the hell had he been thinking? They were supposed to be friends, not... _that_. Yet after Terra had left the room the night before, Isa had nearly cried at the loss. It had all felt too familiar and some part of him irrationally feared that Terra would never return.

Isa wanted to regret the kiss, but it had felt so liberating. He wanted to kiss Terra again and again, like a parched traveler stumbling upon an oasis. He wanted Terra to kiss him, to touch him, to _fuck_ him. He wanted Terra so badly.

Although Terra didn't seem to remember much of Xemnas' life, he certainly remembered how to kiss him. Xemnas always relished in playing with Isa's hips. He knew just how to use his tongue to make heat pool in Isa's groin with the span of a few breaths. Xemnas could play him like a fiddle and make him sing the sultriest songs.

And that nickname.

_'My Moonlight.'_

A sob wedged in Isa's throat. It was Xemnas' nickname for him, for Saïx.

Did Terra even realize that he had kissed him as Xemnas had kissed Saïx? Did he know that he used the same pet name? Isa imagined not or else the keyblade wielder would've been mortified.

It was Isa's fault. He shouldn't have let it get that far. He should've denied Terra. He hadn't expected himself to be so desperate for affection that he'd fall into a kiss as if it were a chasm. Even thinking about it in the depths of his angst made his heart skip a beat and his face heat as if he were burrowing into hot coals.

Isa knew better than this. He had been so determined not to pursue any sort of physical interaction. The carrot was being dangled in front of his face and he had to consciously turn away. Otherwise, it felt as if he was committing a betrayal, both to Terra and to the memory of Xemnas.

It wasn't fair.

It hurt.

He didn't want to ruin their friendship. He wanted to understand his feelings. On top of that, Isa still had a goal. He needed to eradicate the massive fearling from his mistakes long ago. It wasn't a good time to pursue any sort of relationship. They needed to focus. _He_ needed to focus.

Maybe in the future, if Isa could convince himself that he'd be worth Terra's time, they could discuss initiating a relationship.

Maybe.

If Isa could wait that long.

He didn't know how he was supposed to restrain his feelings. Not only had he been nigh-emotionless for a decade, but he hadn't felt affection this strong this since he was a teenager. Back then, he had been completely unrestrained and it bit him and Lea in the hearts.

Here, in the Land of Departure, Isa was surrounded by Terra. He was in his childhood bedroom, sitting among old memories. Even though the castle had been sealed for a decade, Isa could still pick out the scent of shampoo and old cologne in the room. It was as if the space had absorbed a piece of Terra and had become its own entity.

This confusion was all the more reason why the had to leave as soon as possible. It was easy to hide his eagerness under the guise of eradicating fearlings, but on the days that they sparred, or talked until past midnight in the library, or when he laughed around the dinner table with the others...it made it harder to lie against wanting this life. He selfishly craved to love and be loved within a family of trusted individuals. But he didn't deserve it, did he? Not after all of the crimes he committed under a different name.

Thankfully, the time to move on arrived.

After breakfast and several rounds of farewells, they left the Land of Departure. One fear lifted from Isa's shoulders, but another writhed in his heart.

Although Isa knew that his armor would keep him safer than his old coat, he was still shaky on the back of Terra's keyblade glider. He wrapped his arms around Terra's waist again after they broke through the Land of Departure's atmosphere and fired into space.

“You doing alright?” Terra asked through their armor communications. It was a built-in enchantment.

“ _I'm fine_ ,” Isa wheezed, even though he wasn't convincing even to his own ears.

Terra chuckled and patted Isa's arm gently.

“So...since we're alone now, can we talk about uh...last night?” Terra prompted. Isa winced.

“We should focus on the mission. This fearling is bound to be strong if it's already on Master Aqua's radar,” Isa said. He felt Terra sag.

“Oh...okay, yeah, I guess so...”

Silence plagued them for hours until Terra finally spoke again.

“So, how did you know that the fearling was gonna be in the Keyblade Graveyard?” he asked. “It didn't sound like that was just a hunch.”

“I remember feeling it back then...as Saïx,” Isa admitted. It wasn't a complete lie.

“Oh, sorry if remembering that is, uh, hard. I understand,” Terra consoled.

“It's fine. Even though I didn't have a heart, I could feel the fearling. Sora and his friends may have destroyed many of the heartless, but the darkness was not eradicated from that world. Not entirely.”

“So now there's fearlings because of all of the darkness and shattered souls that were left on it,” Terra sighed. “Damn, I really wish I would've known about it sooner! We could've done something!”

“You couldn't have known,” Isa said.

“Yeah, that seems to be a trend...” Terra's voice was bitter.

Isa wanted to argue, but he knew that it was true. So many people had kept Terra in the dark, literally and figuratively, in order to manipulate him. Was Isa really any better? His gut twisted in shame. As much as he wanted to claim that it was for Terra's own safety, the half-lie rang hollow in his heart.

“...We should develop a strategy,” Isa suggested instead.

“Find the fearling, kill it, free the souls, go home,” Terra's words were clipped, “Sounds straightforward to me.”

Isa sighed. “I mean a real strategy.”

“Oh, so you'll talk to me about that but not about anything else? Not about why you know so much about fearlings or where the big one is sprouting, and certainly not about our kiss last night,” Terra snorted.

If Isa had a means of travel, he would've run again. He would've rather returned to Radiant Garden and huddled in his shitty studio apartment and suffered through his dead-end job than deal with the despair and rage tightening around his heart.

“Fine. You don't want a strategy, so we won't use one. We'll just put the past month of sparring and training to waste. Is that better?” Isa snapped. He dared to move his arms from around Terra's waist and held onto the seat handles instead. His fingers trembled and longed to return to Terra, but his pride was stronger than his fear.

“Fine. If that's what you want, then fine,” Terra said.

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

“Yes, that's _fine_!”

“Yep, _fine_!”

Isa scowled beneath his helmet as a flush of anger made his cheeks burn. Couldn't Terra understand that he was trying to help him! He was trying to protect him! Fearlings were dangerous, arguably more so than heartless could be! A person's heart could be saved from the darkness intact, but a soul? A soul that had been consumed was already in pieces. It didn't have the same chance at another life like a heart did.

Isa would know. He'd seen it first hand.

Finally, the Keyblade Graveyard grew into view like a tumor. The surface was still dead and brown. Thick copper clouds laden with red dust and acid rain hung heavy in the atmosphere and pillars of cracked rock jutted into the sky like hands reaching towards salvation.

Their descent was faster than Isa anticipated and they landed jerkily. He barely climbed off of the glider before Terra dismissed it.

“Let's get this over with,” Terra grumbled, keyblade already in hand.

Isa nodded. Being on this world was probably more difficult for Terra than Isa. After all, Terra first met his defeat at Xehanort's hands here. And then, when the old master had called his 'True' Organization together, the shards of Terra had been plucked from various points in time and brought to the present all at once thanks to Xehanort's powers. It must have been disorienting and terrible to see a pieces of himself in other bodies while he was fragmented and worn like a stolen bauble.

Isa could somewhat relate. He died here. Xemnas died here. The Graveyard was aptly named.

Although being on the world had been wretched as a nobody, it was far worse as a human. Isa reached out with his heart and soul to touch the lifestream, but all that met him were harsh, dried whispers, like poisonous thorns scratching against brittle stones. What little energy was left in the lifestream was corrupted. He could feel the cracks like dry riverbeds in a drought.

He reached out again, trying to feel how far the lifestream flowed. There, he felt it. A breach. The fearling had carved a small pinhole in the fabric of the world barriers. Isa cursed.

“What is it now?” Terra asked, caught between bitterness and genuine concern.

Isa considered his response. “We should be careful. The fearling here is incredibly strong. It's infected and corrupted the lifestream and has even broken through the world barrier,” Isa said.

“Is it spreading to other worlds?” Terra asked.

“Most likely.”

“Can you feel what other worlds it's infected?”

Isa stopped walking and focused inward. Slowly, trying to conceal his presence, he prodded along the gelatinous flow of the lifestream with his soul. He reached farther than he anticipated he'd have to, all the way towards another world with a strong lifestream that was quickly being corrupted.

Something reached back.

Lunatic materialized in his grasp. Terra jumped and immediately summoned his keyblade.

“It knows we're here,” Isa spat.

“Then we should get somewhere defensible. You've scouted here before. Where's a good place to make our stand?” Terra asked.

The landscape had changed dramatically since Isa last set foot on this world as a husk of himself. Sora and his friends had been a force that leveled and permanently altered the very landscape around their ferocious battle.

“Follow me,” Isa darted in front of Terra. “I saw a narrow valley on our way in. It's not far from here.”

“Let's go,” Terra followed. “We can choke the fearling's movements with it.”

They ran, weapons in hand, towards the valley. Aside from their breaths and the clank of their armor, the world was silent. If Isa didn't know any better, he would've assumed that it was completely dead.

As the valley came into view, the ground shook. Terra summoned his glider and all but dragged Isa on board with him. Isa clambered on backwards, watching their tails as Terra sped towards the valley.

The ground behind them split like a gaping maw. Thousands of deafening, unearthly screams echoed from the depths as a slow, pulsating mass of black oozed out like hot tar. It bubbled against the dirt, like pustules popping with viscous ichor.

Clenching the motorcycle with his thighs to keep his balance, Isa swung his claymore in a wide arc behind them. The shockwave thundered across the dry terrain and pushed back the encroaching flow.

“GO FASTER!” Isa yelled.

“I am!” Terra called over the roar of his glider and the growling crunch of rocks splitting around them like eggshells.

They nearly arrived at the valley before the fearling broke through the rock in front of them. The high walls of the valley collapsed and Terra had to veer to the side at the last moment. The glider spun and wiped out on its side. Although both of the warriors flew from their seats, their armor protected them from injuries. The fearling tried to consume Terra's keyblade glider, but it de-materialized before the monster could eat the light.

Both men rolled into defensive positions, back to back.

“There's two of them!” Terra exclaimed. “We need to get in better positions!”

They were trapped. The valley in front of them had collapsed into a tall, semi-circle cliff face and the ground behind them was a wide chasm of roiling black ooze. A fearling blocked both paths and bubbled closer like lava.

“Do you think you can get up on top of that cliff?” Isa asked, Lunatic braced in defense.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Let's fight through these bastards and get up to the high ground.”

They launched into battle.

Isa immediately caste haste and boost upon Terra and himself. Their speed and natural offense and defense increased.

Terra fought the fearling blocking their retreat up the cliff face while Isa kept the sea of ooze at bay.

Thousands of spindly black limbs sprouted from the fearling. Things that looked like the memory of hands and feet reached towards Terra, batting at him and trying to grab his weapon from him. He sliced dozens off with each swing of his keyblade, making the thing screech as the arms and legs faded to ash on the ground. Glowing yellow eyes took the place of every limb, and he summoned a lightning based shot-lock command to pierce every one.

The fearling reared back and screeched. When it landed on the ground again, bits of it splattered and then congealed back together. More limbs twisted out of the mass as if hundreds of people were trapped inside. Black thorns sprouted from the thing's fingertips. Terra parried and counterattacked. The thorns and longer limbs collapsed into ash. But while Terra was fighting them off, the fearling's other limbs grew longer, like thousands of centipede legs, and reached towards Terra from the sides.

Terra jumped high as they tried to smash him in the middle. He came down upon them with an aerial slash to sever them from the main mass. The thing screamed again and tried to barrel into Terra as he returned to a defensive stance.

Terra blocked, but stumbled back from the force. The fearling swiped at him, denting the cheek of his helmet so hard that he felt it cut into his flesh. He struck out again at the offending limbs around him.

Meanwhile, Isa was keeping the spreading tar from reaching them. He cast a wide barrier behind him to protect Terra's back and kept Lunatic in a defensive grip. He would've preferred to use it to slice at the mass, but Lunatic was known to cause massive collateral damage. He couldn't afford to break apart the ground any more than it already was. Doing so would give them less stable footing and it would likely grant the fearling more opportunity to creep closer.

Instead, he chucked a vial of flammable oil from his pocket pack into the center of the black pond.

“Firaga!” he cast. The oil ignited and the fearling screeched. Tentacles rose from the depths and flailed, as if trying to put out the flames. He swung his claymore through the air, careful to avoid slamming any force into the ground. The shockwave sliced through the tentacles and they dissipated into dust.

“Heavenly Wrath!” Isa fired from his other outstretched hand. Light fired from his fingertips as he spread his arm in a wide arc. It lashed out at the encroaching fearling four times, like a whip that vaporized all dark matter in its path. One of the tentacles shot from the depths of the tar and snagged the whip. The whip shattered into sparkling light and the tentacles shot upwards as if to devour the fragments of the spell.

The ground cracked further. Isa had to leap backwards to keep from stepping into the sticky, writhing mass. A tentacle shot out of the ground where he had been standing. He he hadn't moved, it would've speared him like a pig on a spit.

“Shining wave!” he cast from his claymore. He swung the weapon towards the fearling and severed the tentacle trying to take his head from his shoulders.

Isa snapped the lid off of an ether and downed it in a single gulp. With his mana restored, he cast another spell.

“Heaven's Gate!”

Random bolts of light penetrated through the clouds and struck the pond of wriggling darkness in front of him. It speared into the depths, creating minor whirlpools and vacuums where it incinerated the darkness.

Behind him, he heard Terra shout at the fearling. “THIS ENDS NOW!”

There was a burst of light behind him, but Isa didn't dare to look over his shoulder. He heard the fearling screech and warble until naught but ash was floating in the air.

“Isa, the path is clear!” Terra called.

The bluenette backpedaled through his barrier before he turned his back on the endless fearling he had been fighting.

“Aeroga!” Isa cast. Both of the warriors easily ran vertically up the sheer cliff, buoyed by the air spell.

Once they reached the top, Isa drank another ether and prepared for the next attack.

The fearling below didn't bother breaking through the barrier he had put up. Instead, it spread out from under the ground and cracked through the bedrock effortlessly. As it rose, it took form.

“No way...no way,” Terra hissed behind his mask. “There's no way it could be that huge!”

The fearling's mass was many times taller than the one that they fought in Radiant Garden and it kept growing. Before Isa could convince himself to breathe, it was a veritable mountain that spanned high into the clouds.

“The fearlings we were fighting...it wasn't multiple fearlings, it was a single one,” Isa realized with growing dread.

The fearling before them kept changing shape. Hundreds of thousands of writhing limbs sprouted from its body. From a distance, it looked like fur billowing in the breeze. Horrendous mouths grew along its entire body, each with cracked teeth and blackened tongues. They screamed continuously like the souls of the damned.

Thick vines covered in thorns formed four squat legs. The body stretched, fat and sinuous, and a tail covered in oozing barbs whipped through the air. The thing's neck split open wide, like the rind on a broken melon, and a snout jutted out and formed a wolf-like head. It opened it's gaping maw, complete the razor sharp teeth and acidic slobber. Thick, rubbery wings sprouted from its back and glowing amber veins ran the length of the membrane.

Finally, thirteen gold eyes cracked open on it's black skull.

It roared.

Isa and Terra's screams were drowned out. They clapped their hands over their ears as if it could muffle the sound through their armor and their knees buckled at the sheer intensity of the monster before them.

“We need to retreat!” Isa shouted past his ringing ears. He had no idea if Terra heard him, but the other man was already on the defensive and looking at their surroundings to find an escape route.

The massive fearling's tail swung at them. Isa cast reflega, but it shattered through almost immediately and struck Terra.

Terra was thrown back like a pebble. Isa nearly lost his footing as the cliff's edge began collapsing under the blow. He scurried to Terra's side and summoned more of his strength to cast another barrier.

The fearling's tail hit again, and the barrier embedded into the rock, but didn't shatter immediately.

“GET UP!” Isa screamed.

Terra wheezed and coughed. He tried to speak through their helm comms, but all that came out was a squeak and a whisper.

The fearling's strength was unfathomable. Isa could feel the pull of millions of souls in agony, writhing in the darkness. Isa thought that Sora had dispelled most of the darkness in the Graveyard. He remembered feeling the black shroud slip away before he was struck down. But the darkness hadn't faded because of the light. It had faded because the fearling _absorbed_ it and pulled it towards the world's core to hollow the planet from the inside out like a cavity.

Without the lifestream, Isa hadn't noticed. He hadn't sensed the true danger lurking within the world's soul. The fearling was a parasite and both of the men were nothing more than a snack.

Terror surged through his veins. They had to leave. Without the lifestream to support him, then Isa's couldn't dip into a source of light brighter than his own heart to bolster his strength. They were going to die.

Terra struggled to his feet, cradling his chest, and summoned his keyblade glider.

Isa didn't waste time. He dismissed his shield at the same time that he slammed his claymore into the thick tail. It didn't cleave through, but it left a gash that smoked and smoldered and sent a shockwave rippling through the air.

He clambered onto Terra's bike and they shot into the sky.

“HASTEGA!” Isa cast on the glider. The fearling's jaws snapped at them and thousands of misshapen arms reached for them.

“Enhanced Light! Light Converter!” Isa cast two spells back to back. One would increase the strength of his spells and the other would convert any minor damage to mana. Thousands of arms stretched out towards them, trying to snatch them out of the air. They clawed at Isa and tried to seep into the gaps in his armor. His thighs trembled with the exertion of staying on the keyblade glider.

The fearling unhinged its jaw and roared again. Thick plumes of black smoke jettisoned into the sky, mixing with the acid-orange clouds. The smoke solidified into a barrier.

“HOLD ON!” Terra shouted.

The fearling thrust its tongue at them. It weaved around them, prehensile and covered in thorns, to cease their escape.

“Excalibur!” Isa dismissed Lunatic and summoned a greatsword of light. It was different from his claymore. Excalibur was a spell that required mana to maintain. He cut through the tongue threatened to wrap around the glider. Everywhere his blade sliced, more hands and arms appeared.

The glider pitched to the side as Terra struck at the barrier with his keyblade. They passed through it only for another one to form in front of them. Violet lightening crashed around them in a maelstrom of darkness and acid pelted them from the clouds.

“Terra! Use your limit!” Isa screamed as he drank two more ethers and hacked at the limbs grabbing at him.

Terra braced himself and transformed his keyblade into a massive cannon. He hoisted it onto his shoulder and fired it into the cloud cover.

It blasted through to the outer atmosphere, but the acid rain transformed into particles of fearlings spewing at them.

Terra's cannon took a few seconds to power down before he could transform it into a keyblade again. Isa downed his final ether and reached as deep into his heart and soul as he could.

“HOLY!!!!”

With an almighty burst of light, the fearlings diving towards them were incinerated.

“ALEXANDER!!!”

The fearling snapped at them again with it's deadly fangs, but a beam of light blocked the attack. The summon, a mixture between a god and a holy fortress, held the fearling's jaws in its fists and cracked them open with a sickening snap.

Isa swayed in his seat. He tried to grasp onto the handle, onto Terra, as they neared the edge of the atmosphere. His head was dizzy and darkness edged at the corners of his vision.

The fearling's tail slapped against the glider as Alexander wrestled it's head.

The world spun.

Isa fell.

“ISAAAAA!!!!”

He barely heard Terra scream for him around the cotton between his ears. He was disoriented, like being dragged beneath a torrential ocean wave, scrambling for the slightest purchase. He tried to focus on an aero spell while he fell, but he had expended too much mana and he didn't have the lifestream to bolster him. He grit his teeth and hundreds of spindly arms and legs reached for him and tried to tear him apart. He summoned Lunatic again and slashed, but his strength was waning. The dizzying descent was making the blood flow away from his vitals as the darkness further encroached in his vision.

He had nothing left.

He was going to die.

The fearling's limbs slammed into him repeatedly, volleying his body like a riptide bashing him into the rocks. He felt the armor crack. It wasn't as strong as a keyblade wielder's. It wasn't impermeable. Aqua had warned him before he left. She told him what would happen if he took too many hits.

Isa's armor shattered.

He screamed.

One of the fearling's humanoid mouths stretched wide until another wolf-like head spat from inside of it. It opened its new, sticky maw, ready to devour Isa and all of the light and power he harbored within him. The limbs caught onto the bluenette, digging into his flesh with little blunt claws and dragging him closer to his death.

“ISA!!!!” Terra sliced the limbs and snatched the barely conscious Isa out of the air just as the fearling's jaws snapped closed. Isa barely recognized what was happening as he was clutched to Terra's chest. A thick, greenish barrier surrounded them, protecting them from the smaller fearling offspring.

He saw the master fearling behind them, the new neck stretching like a snake and roaring. Alexander was still wrestling with the monstrosity. Beams of light formed on the summon's back, like magnificent wings. They pierced through the fearling, eliciting another hellish roar.

The fearling shrank away, smaller and smaller. The world's horizon curved as they ascended through the atmosphere. The barrier around them faded. Isa's breath caught in his chest. There wasn't enough air this high in sky, especially without his armor or his hood. He was dizzy and weak. He was drowning. He couldn't hold onto Terra no matter how he tried to claw at the hot armor and sharp edges. Terra was gripping him so tightly that Isa distantly wondered if his ribs would crack from the strain.

His vision narrowed and fell to darkness. He awoke again, gasping for air and receiving nothing to his hungry lungs. Darkness again. He felt the glider slow down when they finally emerged into space, just past the world's gravitational pull. Another brief moment of consciousness struck him. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel his body anymore. Vaguely, he felt Terra dig in his pocket pack and pull something out. A hood slid over his head and he suddenly sucked painful breaths into his empty lungs. Air rushed to fill the void in his chest, like boiling water, like flooding.

The agony was the final straw.

Isa fell unconscious.


	10. The City on the Water

Terra's mind was gripped in numbing panic. His breath was short and staggered between the litany of rambling curses.

They almost died.

Isa almost died.

And now they were speeding through space. Although Terra had managed to wrestle Isa into his old Organization coat despite his shaking hands, he feared that the darkness may have already infected Isa again. What would he do if Saïx returned? What would become of Isa?

He needed to get to another world. He needed to ensure Isa's safety and then call Aqua for direction on their failed mission. However, he had no idea where to go. The routes between worlds were a secret, and without the darkness forging a path for him, he had no idea where to begin. He almost tried to reach out with the lingering darkness tucked away in his heart, but the terror of what sort of monster he could release was too terrifying to handle. A surge of shame speared through him at the slightest inclination of even trying to use the darkness to help them. Eraqus wouldn't have approved.

But he wasn't strong enough to keep flying for much longer. He had expended too much energy during the fight and it was already a struggle to keep his keyblade glider solid. They needed haven.

Terra's breath was too fast. He was getting lightheaded. Panicking. Isa needed him. He had to keep himself together for Isa's sake.

He took several deep breaths through his tight lungs. Remember Eraqus' mantras. Remember the mediation exercises.

Peace to his heart. Inner light upon his soul. Focus on the light.

While he finally wrestled control of his chest again, he still felt just as hopeless as before. Just as he was about to tremble in such terrible depths, faded teal tendrils of light tickled against his dented faceplate.

Lifestream energy?

It beckoned him. While some part of Terra wondered if he should be wary, he didn't sense any darkness from it and he had little else to lose. If the lifestream was leading him, then he should follow.

Terra funneled the remaining bits of his strength into his glider. He thought to give Isa a potion, but Eraqus had always warned him of the dangers of potions and instant curatives. While a potion could stimulate a wound to heal, it could also make it heal improperly. Terra heard many anecdotes about a deep would healing too quickly towards the top of the skin and inadvertently trapping deadly infections in the deep tissue. He had also heard of people losing mobility in injured limbs because a potion healed the nerves incorrectly. Potions were only to be used in emergency situations where the only other outcome is death. Terra had no idea what Isa's injuries were yet. At least the former nobody's pulse was steady and he was breathing on his own. Terra had delicately lifted Isa's shirt earlier to check for abdominal swelling or discoloration, but he found none of it. It didn't seem as if his friend was bleeding internally. For the moment, his life wasn't in immediate danger.

Within the hour, they reached a small world. Although Terra could still sense darkness from the planet, it wasn't nearly as strong as the fearling within the Keyblade Graveyard. He breached the atmosphere at a controlled descent despite the desperation clawing from within his heart to hurry. Continents were separated by sprawling masses of ocean. He spotted lights on the dark horizon. Habitation. A city on the water. He drove towards it.

The city was magnificent. At any other time, Terra would've taken the time to gawk and explore. It was built upon a basin surrounded by a dozen waterfalls. The ocean funneled into an open-air canal that flowed beneath towering marble arches. Ornate carvings gilded the cold surface, almost as if to resemble a waterfall in its own right.

It looked like most civilian districts were beyond the main archways. They appeared to be a tangle of small bridges and canals. Beyond them was another set of waterfalls that stretched into the next tier of buildings. The largest one, all white marble and gold, was a large, professional structure with a rounded roof and four tall spires. It could have been a governmental building or a place of worship.

Terra thought about heading there. While it was more likely to be staffed, there were also more likely to be questions that Terra didn't know how to answer yet. Lies didn't come easily to him on a good day, much less when he was still scrambling from battle. He had a duty to maintain the world order, even if his friend was injured.

He settled on one of the civilian districts.

Thankfully, there were no witnesses as Terra landed his glider atop a bright terrace. He dismissed his armor and hoisted Isa over his sore shoulder. He probably pulled something when he snagged Isa out of the air, but it didn't feel dislocated or broken. In fact, his bruised ribs complained louder than his shoulder.

Besides, he had more important things to worry about.

“Hello!” Terra called as he clambered down the stairs on trembling legs. He almost sent them both tumbling more than once. “Hello! Is anyone there!? I need help! My friend is hurt!”

No one responded.

Terra cursed and hurried towards the dock. There had to be people manning boats. Multiple clocks hung on the outside of buildings, claiming that it was only 8 at night.

“Hello! I need help!” Terra called again.

Someone called back. “Over here!”

Relief flooded Terra's heart and he headed towards the voice. It belonged to a man aboard a gondola.

The gondolier gave him an extravagant bow. “It seems you've run into some of the monsters.”

“Yes, my friend was hurt,” Terra only partially lied. “Please, I need to get him help. Where's a hospital or a healer or-or I don't know! Please! Just help!”

The gondolier waved him to the boat. “Most shops are closed at this time of night out of necessity. However, there is one place that should be open. It's not far from here. The owner of Maagho has a soft spot for strays so he may be able to help you.”

Terra sagged as soon as they boarded the gondola. He held Isa tightly against him and pushed back his hood. The other man's face was paler than usual and dark circles formed under his eyes. He looked sickly, but his pulse still held steady. Terra shook his head to dismiss the fatigue clawing at the corners of his eyes like the thousands of tiny hands he had left behind in the Keyblade Graveyard. Not only had the battle drained him, but he had set himself up for failure when he hadn't been able to sleep before heading to the Graveyard. At this point, he was running on less than fumes. 

“What were you boys doing out this time at night?” the gondolier asked as he rowed them through the canals.

“We were...uh, we were just looking around. Tourists, you know,” Terra replied weakly. The faint dizziness in his head was only kept at bay by the frantic need to fix their situation.

“Ah. You must've heard the rumors that Altissia was still daemon-free. I'm afraid that they're not true any longer. The monsters have been appearing at night, and there are fewer hunters here than the Lucian continent to contend them.”

Terra nodded dumbly. He had no idea what the gondolier meant, but he didn't have the brain power to ask. Perhaps it was for the best.

“W-why are you the only one out here?” Terra tried to change the subject. His voice wavered and for a moment, the world felt as if it tilted sideways.

“Ah, we gondoliers have a noble duty. We brave the dangerous waters at night to protect wandering tourists like yourself from the daemons. Have no fear, sir. No harm will come to you aboard this vessel. It has dozens of enchantments on her hull to keep the darkness at bay.”

Terra nodded again. If he concentrated, he could feel the light brimming beneath his feet, separating him from the cold water.

Soon, they arrived at a brightly lit diner. Although no patrons were present, the building was still open. Fancy golden lamps and strings of lights hung from the pitched roof of the open air seating. A rectangular bar, elevated on a platform, dominated the center. The entire restaurant swayed gently in tune with the gentle eddies of the water.

Terra tried to stand, but his legs nearly gave out from under him and he struggled to maneuver Isa without toppling them both overboard. Each of his stiff joints felt ready to crack. His adrenaline had worn off.

“Sit,” the gondolier commanded and tethered them to the dock.

Terra's head was swimming. The dizziness made his stomach churn and the bright lights disoriented what minor brain functions he could wrap together. Two more indistinct shapes approached the gondola. Terra tried to tell them to stay back, but the words caught in his throat as consciousness flickered like a dying lamp. He couldn't tell if they were monsters, not with the way his vision was blurring and darkening at the edges.

“You need to let go of him,” another voice said. It sounded as if Terra was underwater.

He whimpered. He had to protect Isa. He had failed him. Isa was hurt and needed help. Terra had to fix it. It was all his fault.

Someone steadied his shoulders from behind. He clutched Isa tighter.

“We're trying to help. Let us help,” another voice.

Terra tried to deny them, but his arms were growing so heavy and someone had turned out the lights.

“Don't let the darkness...” he pleaded before fatigue finally claimed him.

_Don't let the darkness take Isa again._

Nightmares plagued Terra regularly since Xehanort's defeat. Usually, they were a combination of memories of his captivity and his fears and anxiety. He shifted frequently from being a third party observer to being an active participant, but one aspect always remained constant.

The darkness.

He gagged on the sickly sweet scent, like black licorice and rotting carcasses in the hot sun.

This nightmare was no different.

He felt darkness against his spine and he screamed as it burned through him like an acid. It made his skin boil and bubble with thick pustules until his flesh sloughed off and left behind a thick black scab. He whimpered, curled up on his knees, and sobbed. He could feel the edges of his flesh pull against the wound, raw and inflamed. Terra struggled to breathe without gagging on the thick stench of darkness, and repeated Eraqus' mantras again and again in his head.

Peace to his heart. Inner light upon his soul. Inner Peace, Inner light.

It was a nightmare, just a nightmare.

He covered his head with his scabbing hands. This was a nightmare. It wasn't real. He wasn't a puppet again. He wasn't a tool. He was a keyblade wielder and he had to fight against the darkness.

Isa needed him.

He felt something loom over his shoulder and he inexplicably knew that if he looked behind him, something would be there with a wide, flat-toothed grin. He didn't want to open his eyes, but he knew he had to eventually.

Isa needed him.

He finally cracked his crusted eyelids apart, expecting a thousand yellow orbs gazing at him from the darkness. Instead, he winced against the light.

A lamp sat on the bedside table. An electric sconce on the wall hummed with a friendly golden glow. He was in a room, laying on a cot. The walls were ivory and wood, the air smelled like delicious food. Terra wiggled his toes and flexed his hands. The blankets draped over his body were soft and warm against his bare skin. An IV line ran to the crook of his arm and he vaguely felt a catheter in his nethers.

There was no darkness here. The room was, for all intents, comfortable. Although he felt a dull ache against his back, it was not the sear of darkness that he felt in his nightmare. It simply felt sore.

What happened?

Terra wracked his memory and managed to piece together his last waking moments. He had landed on another world. A gondolier had mentioned something about darkness and monsters and delivered him to a building. Terra didn't remember what happened after that, but he figured that he must have passed out.

But what if it was still a dream?

His breath caught in his throat as uncertainty soured into fear.

It could be a dream and he was going to wake up in the clutches of a monster again.

But he had to move. Isa needed him.

Finally, holding his breath, he forced himself to roll his shoulders enough to turn his head. His body reminded him of every strained muscle and injury with a sharp jolt of pain. His vision swam for a moment before orienting again.

Tears of relief sprung into his eyes, unbidden and unashamed.

Isa was in a bed a few feet away from him. Color had returned to his face as he slept, light blue stubble grew on his chin, and IV lines and wires ran to his arms and hands as well.

“Isa...” Terra croaked, “Thank the gods.”

He sagged into the cot again, content to allow fatigue to sweep him under the blanket of sleep once more.

Terra next awoke to the sound of a door opening and closing. He cracked his eyes to see an older man with dark skin and gray cornrows approach him.

“You're finally awake,” he adjusted his monocle.

Terra grunted quietly and tried to sit up. He felt stronger than the last time he woke, but he was still fatigued. The old man motioned for him to stay down and dragged a wooden chair to his side.

“I'm Weskham Armaugh, the owner of this restaurant. Do you remember what happened to you and your friend?” the man asked.

The keyblade wielder nodded and rubbed at his forehead as he tried to formulate a response that wouldn't reveal their identities as off-worlders.

“Isa and I came here as tourists. We were walking around and monsters attacked us. How is he? Is he going to be alright?”

Weskham's expression was unreadable, but he nodded nonetheless. “Physically, he'll be fine, but the doctor won't know much more until he awakens. It's been three days, and you're the only one who's shown any sign of consciousness.”

Terra's eyes widened. “Three days?! And he hasn't woken up yet?!”

“Not yet. The tests prove that he still has brain activity, but the doctor don't know the extent of the damage.”

“It's all my fault,” Terra slumped back into the bed and bit his lip to keep the tears at bay. “I couldn't save him. I couldn't protect him. H-he fell... I promised I wouldn't let him fall.”

“None of that now,” Weskham sighed. He stood and moved the chair back against the wall. “You're both alive. Not a lot of people can boast something like that after they've run into daemons. The best doctor in Altissia already looked over both of you boys, so we've done all we can. Now it's just up to your friend to wake up.”

Terra nodded and covered his face with his good arm.

“Chin up, boy. I'll have Andrea bring up some food. He's a big lad so he can look intimidating, but he's reliable,” Weskham added before he slipped out of the room. “Just get some more rest.”

Terra heard Weskham limp down the hall and a flight of stairs before he faded from range. With a choked sob, he rolled over to look at Isa again. The other bed was too far away to reach, but it didn't stop Terra from trying. He stretched out his arm until his fingertips barely brushed the downy blanket draped over his friend.

“C'mon, Isa. Please be okay...”

He watched Isa's chest rise and fall steadily and hoped that his friend would awaken under his gaze. At some point, he dozed again with his arm hanging off of the edge of the cot.

Distantly, he felt something touch his hand as if it reached from under the bed. It was cold and clammy, and sharp claws gently raked over the inside of his wrist. Something was breathing next to his ear, something shallow and reedy and sickeningly sweet.

Terra knew that he should open his eyes, but he was so heavy with fatigue.

The thing behind him licked the shell of his ear with a raspy, cold tongue.

Terra jerked and swung his arm to hit the thing. The door opened.

Nothing was behind him.

A man stood in the doorway with a tray of food.

“Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Andrea. Mr. Armaugh asked me to bring you some soup,” the man apologized with a kind smile on his battle-worn face. He was nearly as tall as the doorway with shoulders just as wide. He had three scars running from his forehead to his red bearded chin, as if something had clawed him.

“It's fine, I'm fine,” Terra denied as he looked around the room. He wiped his ear, where the thing licked him. His ear was dry.

It was another nightmare. Just a dream.

He tried to sit up without pulling any of the wires or tubes, but his arms were shaky. The man put his tray down on the nightstand and easily hauled Terra to the head of the cot as if he weighed little more than a sack of potatoes.

Terra squeaked in surprise and flailed to cover up his bare hips with the blanket. Andrea didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he certainly didn't care.

He sat the tray across Terra's lap and retreated to the wooden chair across the room again. The furniture creaked piteously under his weight.

“Uh, thanks,” Terra said. “I appreciate it.”

“You're welcome,” Andrea said. “I help Mr. Armaugh on the evening kitchen shifts. That soup's one of the easier meals. It's just a bone broth with some veggies and a side of bread, so it's not as fancy as the other food on the menu.”

If Terra didn't know better, Andrea almost sounded apologetic. Feeling strong enough to at least hold a spoon, Terra tried to soup. His eyes widened in surprise. It was fantastic! As if jolted by his tastebuds, his stomach awakened with a hungry growl. It took every ounce of discipline to keep from picking up the whole bowl and draining it in a long gulp.

“This is delicious. So you cooked it?” Terra asked between spoonfuls. He ripped off a piece of the bread and dipped it in the broth. The bread was crisp on the outside but delicately soft on the inside. The soup just made it even more delicious.

Andrea puffed his already large barrel-chest. “Yep! It's one of Mr. Armaugh's recipes. He's a culinary genius!”

“Oh, is this a diner?” Terra looked around the room again. He vaguely remembered Weskham mentioning something about a restaurant, but this almost looked like someone's private home. Terra wished that he remembered more from his arrival.

“This is Maagho, the world famous restaurant. Mr. Armaugh built his home on top of it so that he wouldn't have to worry about commuting from the mainland or the docks every time there was a problem in the kitchen. We're in his guest room right now,” Andrea exclaimed. “Mr. Armaugh built his franchise from the ground up. He's a Lucian, but he really established Altissian cuisine in the last fifty years.”

So Lucians were from another place than Altissia, and it sounded like the culture was wildly different just from Andrea's brief comment.

“So...why are there monsters in Altissia?” Terra dared to ask.

Andrea sighed. “The daemons are everywhere now. I mean, they've been in Lucis for as long as I can remember, but they've only spread to Altissia in the past few months. We thought we were safe because we're surrounded by the ocean, but I suppose that the daemons evolved to swim. It doesn't help that they're stronger now than they've ever been because the nights are getting longer.”

“The nights?”

“Yeah, it's been changing all over the world and I've heard that it's got nothing to do with the seasons. This time of year, the nights shouldn't be so long. But ever since...ever since Niflheim occupied Insomnia after the terrorist attack...” Andrea shook his head. “Sorry, I shouldn't be talking politics. You're still recovering and I know that the war is a touchy subject for a lot of people. I'll come back later for the bowl, so take your time eating and get some rest. I'm sure that Mr. Armaugh will want to talk more to you later.”

Terra nodded and bid farewell to Andrea. The soup suddenly sat heavy in his stomach.

So this world was overrun by 'daemons'. Were they heartless, unversed, or fearlings? He had known that there was darkness in this world when he landed upon it, but now that he was here, he wanted to do something about it. Not only was it his job, but he wanted to help Weskham, Andrea, and all of the civilians. If the world was as dangerous as Andrea alluded, then so many people must be terrified.

Terra called Aqua from his gummiphone and updated her on the turn of events. She was noticeably worried about Terra's well being, but he assured her that he was fine. Reluctantly, she instructed him to investigate the darkness on the world and to keep her updated on Isa's health. While she was busy as a keyblade master, she was more than willing to travel to far-off worlds to help her comrades in need.

“But what about the fearling in the Keyblade Graveyard?” Terra asked.

“From what you told me, Isa said that it tunneled to other worlds via the lifestream, right? Then there's a chance that it's feeding on those worlds. If you cut off the connection, then maybe the fearling will be weakened. I'll research some more things on my end, too. In the meantime, you and Isa need to recover. Aerith said that only Isa can sense the flow of the lifestream, so you're going to need his help to pinpoint which worlds to visit.”

“Alright, that sounds like a plan.”

The next day, the doctor that Weskham hired gave Terra a clean bill of health alongside a plea to be gentle with himself until he was back to full strength.

Isa still didn't wake up.

The doctor changed Isa's bandages and moved the various tubes around while Terra went for a brisk walk around the restaurant. His clothes had been laundered and mended from the battle, even though some of the red dirt from the Keyblade Graveyard stained the lighter material. Terra had more clothes in his pocket pack, but he'd rather wear the clothes that Weskham went to the trouble of cleaning. It was awfully kind of him to be such a splendid host.

“Hello, Mr. Armaugh,” Terra greeted the older man at the opulent bar once the line backed down. “I'd like to help.”

Weskham eyed Terra up and down and shook his head. “Nope, I'm not gonna put that much strain on you yet.”

“Then I'd like to pay you back for the lodging, food, and medical care,” Terra argued. “How much do I owe you?”

Weskham laughed and sent an order to the kitchen. “Trust me kid, you can't afford it.”

Terra bristled, but then he saw the prices on a menu sitting on the bar top. He paled. Weskham was right. He really couldn't afford it.

“Then I can at least clean dishes in the back or help with food deliveries,” Terra offered.

“Hm, fine, you can help tomorrow or the day after. You've just gotten off of bed rest and I'm not gonna endanger your health.”

Terra sighed. He never idled well, especially when he was recovering from a difficult battle. He thanked Weskham and continued walking around. As he did, he felt increasingly out of place. The patrons of the restaurant were well-dressed and drinking fancy, brightly colored cocktails. They made political anecdotes that Terra didn't understand and some tables seemed to argue over who would pick up the hefty bill as if paying it would make them seem more successful.

He tuned out most conversations until he heard mention of the daemons.

“There was another attack last night,” a woman with a heavy necklace said.

“Heavens no!” another woman with blonde hair tied up into a towering updo exclaimed.

“I heard about it, too,” a man with a red tie said. “Two little girls were playing outside past curfew and the daemons took them. A witness saw it happen from their window.”

“Well, why didn't they stop the daemons!?” the blond woman demanded.

“The witness wasn't a hunter, dear,” heavy necklace lady said, “You know that there aren't many hunters around here to kill the daemons.”

“Well there _should_ be. Our taxes allow Altissia to pay well enough for bounties, and I heard that Maagho throws in an added bonus,” red tie man added.

“Can you blame them? How much money would it take for you to put _your_ life on the line?” heavy necklace tittered.

“Well, I'm _hardly_ the fighting type...” the man withered.

“We noticed,” blonde updo said with a dry titter.

Terra finally walked away as they chuckled to themselves. He felt sick. Children were being consumed by the darkness. Once Isa was well enough to travel, he wanted to reach out to the 'hunters' that the patrons spoke of. Any lead to the core of the darkness in this world would be better than fighting blindly.

Finally, Terra retired back to his temporary room. Both the bedding on the cot and on the bed had been changed, and it looked like Isa was still under the veil of a coma.

He sat on the edge of the cot and wrenched at his hair in distress. This was all his fault. He had to fix it. It was his job as a keyblade wielder to fix it.

After night fell, the sound of customers faded from the floors below Terra. Weskham knocked on the door to deliver dinner.

The keyblade wielder fought off his own weariness and took the tray with what he hoped was a gracious smile. He didn't deserve such kindness, but he couldn't reject it without good reason either. Weskham pulled up the same wooden chair from across the room.

“So, now that you're feeling better, I've got some more questions for you,” Weskham said.

Terra nodded. “I'll answer what I can.”

“See, that's part of the problem,” the old man's eye narrowed behind his monocle. “I want you to answer everything truthfully, but I doubt that you will.”

“Why...wouldn't I?”

“You tell me,” Weskham sat back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. “I'll cut to the chase; Where are you really from? I know you're not tourists.”

Terra's mouth dried and he nearly choked on the food in his mouth. “Uh, yes we are...? We're definitely tourists.”

“You're lying,” Weskham leaned forward conspiratorially. “Let me tell you a story. When I was a kid, I lived in Lucis. You know where Lucis is, right? Ever been there? No? Well, I was a kid and my mom sewed me some new trousers. They were supposed to be for a special occasion, but I wanted to wear them outside against my mother's wishes. They were white, you know. White cotton. Do you see where I'm going with this?”

Terra shook his head dumbly. His grip on the fork tightened.

“Alright, so I went outside in my new white trousers. I met with my friends and we sneaked beyond the barriers to the outlands. The dirt in Lucis has a lot of iron in it, iron that helped make machines. The iron makes the dirt red. Do you know what happened? My trousers got dirty. I went home and that red dust was caked into the fabric so deep that it stained. My mother, bless her, was furious. Those trousers never came clean.”

“Okay...and...?” Terra dared to ask. He clenched his fists to keep himself from glancing down at his knees, which he knew were stained with red dirt. Even though he and Isa came from the Keyblade Graveyard instead of Lucis, he understood the implications all the same.

“And that's how Lucian dirt is. Lucis, especially on the western side, is a vastly mountainous, dry region. It's known for its red dust,” Weskham leaned closer towards Terra. “You and your friend walked in here covered in red dust.”

“That's just because we, uh, came from Lucis,” Terra said slowly. He immediately winced at his contradictory statement.

“Uh huh. Did you know that all of the civilian ship routes to and from Lucis have been cut off since terrorists killed King Regis?”

Terra gulped.

“So how the hell did a couple of tourists from Lucis show up in Altissia, covered in red dust?” Weskham asked.

“I...I...” Terra stammered.

“If you managed to smuggle yourself on a ship, if you were a stowaway, I don't think you'd have all that dust freshly on you 'cause you would've made a mess and been caught. I've got some buddies over at the customs gate and they haven't seen any fellows covered in Lucian dust come into port on any private vessels. You sure as hell didn't swim even if you could make it. So that means you flew. And whaddya know, only Niflheim has access to flying machines.”

Terra didn't say anything, but he was certain that his silence damned him further.

“So now I've gotta wonder,” Weskham leaned closer to Terra conspiratorially, “are you two Niff spies?”

“No, of course not!” Terra exclaimed a little quickly. He set the tray aside and dared to stare into Weskham's eyes. They were going milky with age, but it still seemed like he could see straight through him.

“Then what are you? Where are you really from? You've both got calluses from swords. You're both built like brick shithouses. You both know how to take a hit from an enemy without damaging your vitals. It's awfully convenient that you two also ended up on my doorstep. It's not a secret that I used to run around with the late King Regis, but I've lived in Altissia for so long that I figured the Niffs didn't give a damn about me anymore,” Weskham growled. “So stop fucking around and tell me just who the hell I'm harboring. Are you spies? Are you deserters? Terrorists? Out with it.”

“...” Terra glanced at Isa as if hoping the other man could inspire some convenient answer. Deception was always a weak point for him, for better and for worse. While it meant that Eraqus always trusted him to be truthful, it meant that he was a terrible undercover warrior.

He cleared his throat and, with his palms raised, slowly lowered himself to his knees on the floor. He didn't have the words to explain himself, but maybe, just maybe Weskham wouldn't require an entire explanation.

“I...can't say where I'm from,” Terra admitted. “If I do, people could be put in danger. But please believe me when I say that I only want to help people. My friend and I are on a quest. We fight against the darkness. We came here on accident because our last battle ended...poorly. We didn't intend to intrude or take advantage of anyone, and we're certainly not spies or deserters o-or terrorists. We don't work for Niflheim, we've never been to Lucis, and we're new to Altissia.”

Weskham tapped his foot impatiently. Terra didn't dare to look up.

“Please, I beg of you, don't ask me to explain more. Isa still needs medical attention and I can't take care of him on my own. Please...” Terra summoned his keyblade across his hands in the blink of light. He placed the weapon on the floor in front of him, planted his hands on the soft carpet, and bowed so deeply that his forehead rested against the floor.

“Please...I swear on my keyblade, on the honor of my duty and my father, that I mean you no harm. Please, just help Isa...” Terra supplicated himself.

The moment stretched. Terra fought to keep his breathing even, to keep from panicking at the idea of losing Isa's medical care until he awoke.

Finally, Weskham shifted. He stood over Terra, the tips of his shiny leather shoes just inches away from the keyblade.

“You've got a weapon of light,” Weskham finally said. “Only knights from the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard under a king of Lucis can summon one of those.”

Terra dared to lift his gaze. Weskham's expression edged towards a deep sorrow.

“I knew the exact moment that someone killed Reggie. Once a king dies, then the light weapons bestowed upon his Glaives die, too. I felt a piece of myself die that day. I can't summon my guns anymore.”

“I'm...I'm sorry, I don't know what to say,” Terra whispered.

“I think you've finally said enough, kid,” Weskham sighed. “Get off the floor. You shouldn't kneel to anyone but your king.”

“I...”

“Shut it. You already said it yourself that you can't tell me more about how the hell you got here or who you really are. So get up. You can stay here for however long you need, but I suggest that you go the library tomorrow and actually research the culture around here. You stand out like a sore thumb. If you're gonna try convincing anyone else that you belong, then you've gotta blend in.”

Terra dismissed his keyblade and stood upright.

“Thank you, Mr. Armaugh,” he smiled, relieved.

“If you wanna thank me, then take up some hunts when you're well enough. Killing some of those daemons will make this a safer place for everyone, and it pays decently, too,” Weskham scratched the back of his head awkwardly, as if he wanted to say something else but barely held himself back. “Now get some rest. You've got a big day tomorrow.”

As Weskham gathered the empty food tray and walked away, Terra bowed deeply. For the first time since the Keyblade Graveyard, he had hope.


	11. Eos

Isa slept for three more days.

Terra had taken that time to visit a library nearby, but reading through various history books and cultural self-help, he had grown bored. Instead, he walked around town during the day and talked to the locals under the pretense of a curious tourist.

At least he looked the part. He was lost many times among the twisting, winding streets. They wove above and below themselves, as if the city had been puzzled together one block at a time. Some stairways and bridges led to the next level, some led below or above it. Navigating was almost horrific, but thankfully, the gondolier that had helped them on their first night in showed him around town.

The gondolier, Antonio, steered them through the dozens of canals that led through town like streets. He pointed out specific blocks on the district and which ones were trickier to reach than others lest Terra lose his way again in the night. Terra took notes on a large paper map sprawled across his lap. While his gummiphone automatically created area maps thanks to whatever computer stuff it used, it didn't show all of the shortcuts and byways between districts.

Antonio was also a spectacular conversationalist. It was easy to talk to him even when Terra's nerves were frayed. Terra updated Antonio about Isa's well being. Although the bluenette still hadn't awoken, Terra tried to remain optimistic that it was only a matter of time before Isa could join him on the canals. He spoke of the various worlds he had been to as if they were things that he had read in a book or two. At the very least, his rambling seemed to entertain Antonio. Also, the gondolier didn't mind when he asked even the simplest of questions that surely a resident of the world would know. He was a fount of knowledge regarding the history of the world and the political climate.

Antonio even introduced him to some older gentlemen that played chess along the canal that cut through the northern districts. The men welcomed Terra's curiosity with open arms and an opportunity to ramble about the so-called 'good old days', often without prompt. He played chess with them, as Eraqus had taught him, and jotted down notes as they spoke about legends and gods and decades of political unrest.

The men were amused by his notes. They asked if Terra was going to write a book. While Terra didn't expressly deny it, he claimed that he was fascinated. After all, only the victors of battles wrote history, so gaining another viewpoint was always valuable. The old men didn't argue. If anything, they puffed their ancient chests and eagerly launched into more stories.

“So the daemon attacks have only gotten worse in the last thirty years or so, huh?” Terra asked.

“Yep. It started when folks were disappearing, especially around the capital of Niflheim. So then the Niffs increased production of their infantry, those dead-eyed robots that were created from old magitek. They said that the soldiers wouldn't disappear like humans because the daemons didn't wanna eat them.”

Terra jotted notes regarding the timeline of the world. Niflheim was the reining military superpower on this world, Eos. Their kingdom was built upon the ruins of an ancient, technologically advanced civilization. Because of that, the emperors of Niflheim declared that they ought to rule the world with their technology. To that end, they had conquered every other nation except for one.

“And that's the infantry that they attacked Lucis with,” Terra confirmed.

“Yep! It kicked off the Great War in M.E. 725,” one of the men shook his head, “I still remember it. My brother sank all of his last gil into sending his wife and two sons across the ocean to get away from the bloodshed. The boat didn't make it. I never saw any of them again.”

“I'm sorry to hear that...” Terra said.

“Old scars, my boy, old scars. My family and I already lived here in Accordo by the time the Great War hit the Lucian continent. We immigrated because the king at the time, King Mors Lucis Caelum, cared more about keeping up the Lucian Wall than protecting the farmers in the outlands.”

“The wall was created by the power of the Crystal, right? Didn't he have to pull back the wall anyways?” Terra asked. Legend stated that the Crystal was an object of light gifted to man from the gods. Only the King of Lucis could utilize it. King Mors had used it to create a barrier of light to defend the kingdom from enemy and daemon attacks.

“Yep. Niflheim was kicking their asses, so King Mors pulled the Wall back to cover just the capital. The rest of the kingdom fell to Niflheim, but only unofficially. Not gonna lie, I was hoping that when Mors' son became king, then he'd try to take back the outlands. He didn't. King Regis was a conservative type of fellow.”

“But King Regis Lucis Caelum tried to fight against Niflheim, didn't he? Wasn't there something about an alliance with Accordo?” Terra asked. He had an inkling that somehow, Weskham fit in on this part of the timeline, too. After all, he had claimed to be the late King Regis' friend.

“You think we'd still be sitting here chatting if it didn't fall through?” the old man laughed. “He tried to reforge an alliance back before he was king, but the odds were stacked against him. The alliance never took off because Niflheim started the Great War and Lucis didn't have the manpower to fight both in Accordo and on their homeland. That was the last time he came to this country.”

“Before he...died.”

“Yeah, the radio says that terrorists assassinated King Regis during the signing ceremony. Some people say that it wasn't terrorists, but rather he tried to stage a coup. I believe the second theory less than the first.”

“Oh c'mon George!” one of the other old men laughed. “You still think that the king of Lucis didn't try some last ditch assassination on Emperor Aldercapt?”

“Tch, no! Regis was too much of a coward to do something as ballsy as that! Besides, he had his son to worry about since Prince Noctis was supposed to marry Lady Lunafreya!”

“And now look, they're all dead. And our Oracle, dear Lady Lunafreya, went down with them.”

A somber sigh rippled through the men.

“Lady Lunafreya was our last hope.”

“Why is that?” Terra asked.

“Don't you listen to the news, boy? She was the only one that could heal people from the darkness! She was our Oracle, the woman ordained by the Astrals to protect humanity.”

“Ah, yes, that's right,” Terra said sheepishly and he wrote down more notes. The Oracle was a liaison between humanity and the gods. Since she could temper the darkness, he suspected that she was some sort of wielder of light.

Terra sighed. If anyone had any idea how to fight against the darkness in this world, it would've been Lady Lunafreya. It had been her sworn duty. According to the stories Terra heard, the Oracle didn't fight with a keyblade. That meant she used another method to combat the darkness. While Terra imagined that a keyblade would still be effective, he had learned from Aqua that gathering more information about the source of darkness and alternate means to destroy it was only good practice.

A few months ago, Lady Lunafreya died.

She was betrothed to Prince Noctis of Lucis as part of a peace treaty between Lucis and Niflheim, but their wedding was botched by bloodshed. They were both reported dead.

“So...who repels the darkness now?” Terra dared to ask.

“That's a good question,” the old man said. “Hunters can fight off most of the daemons, but otherwise, it seems that the only thing we can do is to run away from them.”

“And the Niflheim Empire isn't trying to fix it?”

“Nah, they just think that everyone should stay indoors after sunset. It's a piss-poor reaction if you ask me. They don't even fund the Hunters. All of the daemon bounties are paid for by collecting extra taxes and donations in individual provinces.”

“I'm interested in helping,” Terra beamed. “Where can I find other hunters?”

“Eh, there aren't many hunters here in Altissia, especially since the ships to and from Lucis are cut off. But if you wanna talk to someone about it, talk to Weskham at the Maagho. You already know him, right?”

Terra nodded.

“Alright, then ask him about the bounties. I hear that he also throws in a fat bonus. Calls it a 'business investment' or something.”

Terra thanked his new friends and enjoyed playing chess with them until the sun began its descent through the sky. Even though he was plagued with worry and itched to do something to fight the darkness, the days were simple to survive so long as he kept himself busy.

The nights were harder.

Weskham allowed Terra to wash dishes in the kitchen, but he wouldn't share information on the daemon hunts yet, claiming that the keyblade wielder was still healing. Terra even begged Andrea for extra tasks, but the burly redhead denied him as well. So after the clientele thinned and the dishes were cleaned, then Terra had nothing to do but return to his room and pace like a caged animal while Isa slept.

It was too quiet.

He could only hear Isa's measured breaths and the distant lapping of ocean water against the building. Even when he turned on the radio to listen to the news, it was still too quiet. It was midst such loneliness that Terra's mind would play tricks on him. He would think that he'd see little gold eyes peeking out from under the bed. He'd imagine hearing labored, hoarse breathing behind his ear. He sometimes swore that he felt something cold and clammy as a corpse slide a bony finger up his spine.

Every time his nerves began to fray, he repeated Eraqus' mantras aloud. Peace to his heart. Inner light upon his soul. Focus on the light.

It didn't always dispel his unease, but it was all he could do.

Halfway through a news story on the radio about a recent daemon attack nearby, Terra heard something else. It was a whisper next to his ear. He spun on his heel only to meet empty air.

Just as he regained his breath, another whisper tickled against the shell of his ear again. He clapped his hands against his head and some part of him swore that he could hear a deep, dark chuckle.

The electric sconce flickered.

_Peace._

The empty cup on the dresser fell as if knocked by an invisible cat.

_Inner Light._

There was no window in the room, but a cold draft fluttered past Terra. Goosebumps sprang from his flesh and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

_Peace._

The newscaster on the radio fizzled into loud, garbled static.

_Peace peace peace._

His pulse was racing. Something caressed his throat with what felt like a long, sharp claw.

“STOP!” Terra summoned his keyblade. “What do you want!?!!!”

The sensations were gone. The air was still and the sconce stabilized to a warm glow. The radio broadcast cut to a commercial break advertising fishing lures.

Terra panted. A cold sweat dripped from his brow and his hands trembled. It was his imagination. Of course it was his imagination. He would've seen a heartless or a nobody by now, if only by virtue that they didn't have the ability to play games like this. Heartless and nobodies took every opportunity they could to destroy the light.

It was all in his head.

Terra dismissed his keyblade and picked the fallen cup from the floor.

It was all in his head. The radio antennae must have temporarily lost signal. The electricity faltering and the cup falling must have been a result of the ocean gently swaying against the establishment. The draft had only been his imagination since he was already spooked.

He heard Isa stir.

“Hnng…” Isa groaned.

Terra pushed his terror deep into his gut and scrambled to Isa’s side.

“Isa! Are you awake?” he murmured and brushed blue hair from his face. His hands were still shaking.

“...Water…” Isa croaked.

“Of course!”

Terra skittered to the side table in their room and grabbed the pitcher of water. Careful not to spill it, he delivered a cup of water to his friend and helped him sit up enough to sip at it.

“How are you feeling?” Terra prompted quietly. He helped Isa lay back down, petting his friend's hair away from his face.

Isa was clearly disoriented. He glanced around the room and down to the IV line in his arm. He seemed to nearly retch at the sight, but was quickly lost to a confused fog again.

“Isa? You're safe here. How are you feeling?” Terra prompted again. He wiped the cooling sweat from his own forehead.

Isa blinked a few times before finally focusing on Terra's face. “Hn, bad,” he finally grumbled, throat scratchy and dry. The monitor beside his bed that tracked his heartbeat spiked and Isa's face screwed up in concentration.

“What...happened?” he choked. “Everything's...quiet?”

“We went to the Keyblade Graveyard and fought a fearling. We...we lost. But we escaped,” Terra said.

Isa mumbled something unintelligible, but seemed content with the answer.

“Safe...?” Isa finally enunciated.

“Yes, we're safe. We're on another world.”

Isa nodded and winced as if moving his head hurt.

Terra noticed something that made his heart still and his stomach jump in his throat.

“Uh...Isa? Can you look at me, please?”

Slowly, the bluenette obliged. Terra froze.

“Your eyes... they're gray,” he whispered to the quiet room.

While Terra was relieved that they hadn't shifted to that terrifyingly familiar gold, he knew that something was wrong. Isa's eyes were supposed to be teal, vibrant and bright like the lifestream. At first, Terra thought that it might be a trick of the light, but even as he shifted to change angles, Isa's irises were still a dull, inky gray like the sky on a rainy day.

Despite the revelation, Isa grunted and slipped back to sleep.

Terra called the doctor with the number that was left on the nightstand. The doctor had no idea why Isa's eyes would've changed colors and he doubted Terra's recollection considering the recent trauma that they both suffered. The doctor was more pleased that Isa had awakened than anything else, and Terra honestly couldn't fault that.

Terra updated Aqua as well, but she also had no idea why Isa's eyes would change. She was only familiar with darkness. When the darkness infected a person's heart, then their eyes would turn gold just like a heartless. It had happened to Xehanort, who passed it to Terra and his vessels. It had happened to Aqua, when she finally succumbed to her sorrow in the realm of darkness.

But gray? Aqua vowed to dig through Eraqus' library, but she had no idea off the top of her head what would cause a person's eyes to lose saturation.

Over the next few days, Isa slipped in and out of consciousness. Whenever he woke, Terra was by his side with a fresh cup of cool water and another explanation of what happened. It seemed that Isa had a hard time remembering any answers that Terra gave. He kept asking the same questions whenever he broke past initial consciousness. He also kept mentioning how quiet it was.

Terra couldn't fault him for that. After their time in the Land of Departure, he understood that Isa didn't fare well in silence. To help, he increased the volume on the radio and narrated everything he did aloud in case Isa could hear him beyond the blanket of sleep. Whenever he left the room, he always kept the radio on so that Isa might have some comfort if he woke up alone.

The terror of whether or not Isa _would_ awaken had finally faded into the anticipation of _when_ he would awaken beyond a few stolen minutes and slurred sentences.

Although Terra busied himself, he still waited in their room as often as possible. He was eager for his friend's recovery, but he also imagined that it had _nothing_ to do with the silver piercings that caught his gaze on Isa's chest and mouth. His eyes tended to wander now that his primary fear was allayed, but it wasn't fair to Isa. Whenever the sheets slipped below Isa's pectorals, Terra steeled himself to raise the blanket to his collarbone again. It felt...inappropriate. Isa was sleeping, and all Terra wanted to do was creep closer to those nipple piercings and examine them thoroughly in some sort of warm curiosity that made his groin stir against his will.

At least Isa had other piercings that were less...invasive to look upon. Terra knew that Saïx's ears had been pierced, but it seemed that Isa had explored it further after recompleting. He had three earrings on each lobe, and a bar that speared through the upper cartilage on both ears. A little crescent moon rested against his left nostril. More than once, Terra had found himself staring in particular at the piercing on Isa's lip. It was a curved, silver barbell. One end perched upon the fullest part of his lower lip and the other protruded from beneath the swell. Isa told him that it was called a vertical labret. Everything was silver and bright, like stars amid a night sky.

Terra found it easy to lose himself in staring at them. He often stroked his own lips as he remembered how it felt to kiss Isa that night in the Land of Departure. The piercings had been surprisingly warm against his skin. The one on Isa's lip was smooth yet unrelenting and it had rolled against Terra's mouth like a perfect pearl. When he found his temperature rising with every thought of Isa's moon-kissed muscles, and sweet, passionate breath, and narrow hips rolling in his lap, Terra had to slap himself and immediately do several dozen handstand pushups to dispel the heat between his thighs.

Isa had wanted to avoid talking about their kiss. Terra vaguely remembered that Saïx preferred pure professionalism before a mission, so perhaps that was the only reason. He'd have to ask Isa later, when the bluenette was fully awake and well enough for the conversation. After all, Terra wanted to do everything in his power to help Isa feel comfortable. He wanted to fix whatever misunderstanding there was between them.

After three more days, Terra was dozing by Isa's bedside. He had fallen asleep in a chair, face nestled against Isa's hip and arm draped across his stomach. As he floated between dream and reality, he felt something heavy card through his hair. At first, he thought that it might be another nightmare tormenting him, but this felt warm. It wasn't cold and sticky and it didn't make fear strike through Terra's heart.

He peeled open his eyes to find Isa slowly stroking his head.

“Good afternoon,” Terra smiled.

The corner of Isa's lip quirked. His eyes were still gray. “Afternoon,” he returned.

As loathe as he was to abandon his position, Terra finally sat up.

“How much do you remember?” Terra asked.

Isa blinked a few times, but he was far more lucid than he had been in days prior. He rubbed at his growing beard. “Keyblade Graveyard, fighting fearlings, waking here...?” he said.

“Yep, that's about it,” Terra chuckled. He held a cup of water to Isa's lips, as he had been doing. Isa sipped at it carefully and laid back again. He screwed his eyebrows together.

“What's wrong?” Terra asked.

“It's too...quiet.”

“Oh, do you want me to turn up the radio some more?” Terra asked.

Isa shook his head. “No. I-I...I can't hear the lifestream. It's muted, like it's far away.”

“Do you hear it normally?”

“Yes. It's a constant on every world.”

“Hm, then I wonder if it has something to do with the daemon attacks,” Terra mused. That must have been why he kept complaining of silence. When Isa gave him a inquiring eyebrow quirk, he continued. “There are fearlings in this world. It seems like they come out at night and they've been harassing the civilians. Apparently, they've been getting stronger lately.”

“Hm, we can't catch a break, can we?” Isa mused with a wry smile.

“Nope, but that's the life! When you're up and moving around, we can try to do something about it. I haven't seen any fearlings myself, but I've heard enough that I'm confident that they're on this world. By the way, do you remember anything else...? Like...what I said about your eyes?”

Isa froze in terror, but forced himself to relax. He stroked his brow and his rigid jaw worked a few times before forming words. “They're gray, aren't they? Gray, not gold.”

“Yeah. Though I...I don't know why.”

Terra sighed. Aqua still hadn't found a cause. Perhaps Isa had used too much magic during their battle?

“Terra, I want to see them.”

The keyblade wielder nodded and excused himself only long enough to fetch a handheld shaving mirror from the bathroom. The doctor hadn't yet removed Isa's IV lines and catheter since the bluenette was sleeping more than waking so it was even more reason for Terra to do the legwork.

Isa took a deep, trembling breath before looking into the mirror. He stroked the coarse, blue stubble on his jaw, smoothed back his tangled bangs, and stared for several minutes that crawled by like a caterpillar in the rain. To Terra's surprise, Isa suddenly barked a loud, harsh laugh. It wasn't his usual calm chuckle, but rather something hysterical and almost delirious.

“What's going through your head?” Terra blinked and sat beside Isa. The bed dipped under his weight. After a moment, his laughter died down and his chest shuddered.

“It's stupid, isn't it? To wish that my eyes were gold again instead of gray,” Isa said.

“It's...I don't know what to say...” Terra winced. His own nightmares and the fresh hallucinations of golden eyes under the bed drained the moisture from his mouth.

“If my eyes were gold, then it would indicate that the darkness is back inside of my heart. It's a terrifying thought, but at least I know what it means. I've learned to suppress the darkness within me. But this...?” Isa draped his arm over his face. “I...I don't know what this means. I tried to ask the lifestream, but all I hear is...static.”

“We'll...we'll fix this. I'll fix this,” Terra promised.

Guilt welled in his heart and his stomach sank to his knees. “So you're not hearing much? Do you think that the lifestream is weak here?” he dared to ask.

“I don't know,” Isa glanced up to look at his own hands. “I know that I have my heart. I can feel it, and I can feel emotions. But still...something's gone.”

“Whatever is missing, we'll find it,” Terra tried to smile. “And you don't think that it's the lifestream's doing?”

Isa shrugged a shoulder. “I won't know until the full moon. If the lifestream is weak, then it won't be capable of manifesting above the water. But if something's wrong with me...”

“The full moon is a week away. Can you hold out til then?”

Even though Terra had never cared to keep track of the lunar cycles before, seeing Isa dance with the lifestream in Radiant Garden put the phenomena in a new perspective. He was drawn to it.

Isa nodded and, over the next several minutes, his breaths evened. His eyelids fluttered. The distress took its toll on him.

Terra leaned over Isa and pressed their foreheads together. He took a deep breath as Isa began falling under a fitful sleep once more.

“I'll fix this. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made a graphic for the general history of Eos, as it applies to this fic. While I hope it's not necessary to understand what's going on in the world, I personally always benefit from some sort of notes. After all, FFXV tended to spread a lot of its world building into various media outside of the main game installment.
> 
> https://crimsonenigma.tumblr.com/image/190737981348
> 
> I hope that this helps! We'll make more references to the world's history in the next chapter, so I'll plug the link in the notes there, too!


	12. The First Eclipse

The doctor declared Isa fit enough to move around. Without the burden of IV lines and medical equipment, Isa insisted that he train immediately to regain his strength as soon as possible. Even though he had been provided nutrients intravenously, he still lost a few pounds of muscle mass.

Together, they tested Isa's abilities. He could still cast magic and summon his claymore, but he was having trouble communicating with the materia. They still responded to his commands easily, but...

“I can only hear them whisper,” Isa shook his head after trying to speak to the array of materia arranged on the bed.

“Okay, do you think it's because we relied on them so heavily during that battle? I mean, I know it was a few weeks ago now, but maybe they're just tired?” Terra suggested. Although he could feel the warmth of a materia's intent, Terra had never been able to hear them the way that Isa had, so he had no frame of reference.

“It's possible,” Isa mused. “It is more difficult to communicate with them when they've exhausted much of their energy.”

“Do we need to give them more time to recover?” It wasn't a bad idea at all, in Terra's opinion. Isa was already pushing himself too hard and Terra would leap on any opportunity to slow him to an easier pace.

“We can recharge them in the lifestream.”

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that!” Since the materia were comprised of life energy crystallized around a heart, then bathing them in the lifestream would recharge them and re-establish their connection to it.

“In the meantime, we can still let them know how much we appreciate them! After all, my barrier materia completely saved our butts when we were escaping the Graveyard. I definitely owe it our lives,” Terra said.

Isa arranged the materia on the nightstand and sat against the headboard of the bed. His damp hair was pulled into a loose, looped bun. Although he claimed that he wasn't sore at all from sparring and training, Terra knew the telltale signs. Isa had taken a long, hot shower to ease his muscles and yet he was still as stiff as a mannequin.

Terra pulled up the chair and sat on it backwards. He crossed his arms over the back of it and rested his chin in his hand. It was taking every ounce of his self control not to climb into bed beside Isa and nuzzle against his pale neck. He briefly wondered what that ivory skin would look like covered in purple hickies and bites.

Isa glanced at him.

Terra coughed.

“So, uh, did you need another recap of the history of this world?” Terra changed the subject. He had already spent several hours filling Isa in, but he tended to jump around in his explanations. While Isa had remembered everything, he had a harder time piecing the bits together until Terra realized his error and tried to speak more chronologically. Politics and world history weren't Terra's strong suit, but since this world was embroiled in a war lasting hundreds of years, then it felt prudent to educate himself and Isa on the matter.

Isa sighed and rubbed his temples. “I understand the political events, but I would appreciate it if we review the legendary events and how they tie into the present climate. After all, most legends have at least some modicum of truth. Without researching it myself, I can only assume that the ones of this world are no different.

“Alright,” Terra hummed as he skimmed through a notepad he stashed in the nightstand. “So legend states that humanity once lived in peace in the kingdom of Solheim with the gods of this world. They're called the Astrals. Somehow, the humans angered one of the gods. I'm not super clear on the details about that, only that it ignited the Astral War.”

“It was Ifrit, wasn't it?” Isa murmured. “Ifrit was the god who wanted to destroy humanity for their hubris.”

“I think so! Oh, hey, do you think that the Ifrit of this world is the same as the one that you summoned in Radiant Garden?” Terra asked.

Isa shrugged. “Yes and no. Before the worlds were separated, the lifestream was a single river that flowed among all life. I'm not entirely certain when or how the gods came to be, but they're creatures that are inherently tied to the lifestream. When the worlds split apart, the lifestream split, too. The pieces of those gods were scattered to every world, where they became their own force.”

“So the Ifrit you summoned is related to the Ifrit of this world because they came from the same god. They're just...separated now,” Terra mused. He was briefly reminded of the difference between a human and their heartless and nobody counterparts.

“That's correct. I have a pact with the Ifrit of Radiant Garden that allows me to call on him in exchange for mana. However, the Ifrit that I ally with is not the same Ifrit that slumbers in this world.”

Terra nodded. Just because the two gods were borne from the same place didn't make them identical. That was oddly reassuring.

“Okay, so the Astral War ended when the other gods killed Ifrit. Humanity was almost wiped out and the kingdom of Solheim fell,” Terra continued. “The gods like, hibernated after that. Then 2000 years ago, a dark plague arrived on this world.”

“Since the gods were still weakened from their war, Bahamut granted humanity, specifically two bloodlines, the ability to fight the darkness. What were the components again?” Isa added.

“The Crystal is the main power,” Terra scanned his notes. “I think that it's some relic of light. Only the Ring of Lucii can channel the power of the Crystal, I guess kind of like how my keyblade can channel the light of Kingdom Hearts.”

“And only the King of Lucis can wield the Ring of Lucii, correct?”

“Yep! So the King of Lucis would be the ability-equivalent of a keyblade wielder. Instead of a keyblade, he'd use the Ring of Lucii. Instead of drawing power from Kingdom Hearts, he'd draw it from the Crystal.”

“And where does the Oracle fall into this?”

“The Oracle was the other bloodline that Bahamut blessed. They communicate between the Astrals and humanity. I think that they can also heal and wield the power of light, but if the King has the Crystal, then I'm not really certain why they're necessary.”

“Hmm, it's probably for power balance. If a single individual has access to unlimited power, then they could become corrupted by it. If a separate bloodline with separate political interests gatekeeps the power of the gods from humanity, then it would ensure that the King doesn't ignite another Astral War.”

“Oh, that makes sense! Okay, so the Oracles are of the Fleuret bloodline. The most recent Oracle was Lady Lunafreya Nox Fleuret. Unfortunately, she died a few months ago.”

“And her fiance, Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum of the kingdom of Lucis perished as well,” Isa rubbed at his chin. “I hesitate to believe that they're actually dead.”

Terra blinked. “I mean, I'm, not _against_ hoping for them to be alive, but what makes you think that?”

“Niflheim is currently 'protecting' the Crystal after the King of Lucis was assassinated by so-called terrorists. Despite such claims, no terrorist factions have stepped forward, even in the name of anti-imperialism. The varying regions in Lucis have been blockaded to catch the terrorists, but still, there's no movement. It's more likely that Niflheim betrayed Lucis. However, there's still the school of thought that Lucis betrayed Niflheim. While I find these stories most dubious, let's imagine for a moment that King Regis of Lucis actually betrayed Niflheim at the treating-signing ceremony. After all, it took place on his soil so it would stand to reason that he could have had the upper hand.”

Terra's heart was fighting against the idea after all he had learned of Niflheim. Upon first hearing the history of the empire, he was positive that they were fueled by a ravenous thirst for power. Still, Terra kept an open mind.

“So if King Regis attempted to assassinate Emperor Aldercapt of Niflheim, then wouldn't he have a backup plan in case the attack fell through? After all, Niflheim has been encroaching upon his kingdom for decades. He had to know that the chance of success was slim. Likewise, if King Regis was expecting a betrayal from Niflheim, he still would've had a backup plan along the same lines.”

“I think I get it,” Terra rubbed his chin in thought. “You're saying that King Regis would've protected his son and the Ring of Lucii in case the peace ceremony ended in his death.”

“Precisely. While he would have cared about the Crystal as well, it's not something that he could've hidden as easily as a piece of jewelry and a prince that few people outside of Insomnia would recognize since he had never stepped foot beyond the capitol.”

“So regardless if King Regis was planning to betray Niflheim, he would've planned for a trap the same way. Niflheim still could've been the ones to sabotage the peace treaty, but since they're in charge of the news, then no one would know differently. It would also be easier to blame unknown terrorists on the assassination rather than give credence to anti-imperial factions.”

“And since Niflheim conquered Tenebrae years ago, then they control the Oracle. It would be easy to also cover up her location. However, if they claim that she's dead, it leads me to believe that she may have actually escaped the predicament altogether. It would be easier to find her if they were the only ones searching.”

“Do you have any idea why Niflheim wanted the Crystal in the first place?” Terra asked. “I tried to figure it out. Niflheim wanted to conquer the world like the ancient kingdom of Solheim. They felt it was their right to do so since their kingdom was built on top of the old technological ruins of Solheim. In their eyes, they're just reclaiming what was 'theirs'. So I can't figure out why they would want the Crystal when they already conquered the world. I'd assume that they would want it to drive back the darkness, but they haven't done that at all.”

“Also, if they had wanted to utilize the Crystal to defeat daemons, then they probably would've used different terms in their treaty with Lucis. Legend states that only the King of Lucis, wielding the Ring, could channel the power of the Crystal. So if eradicating darkness was their motive, it would've been in their best interest to ally themselves with Lucis instead of conquering them or proposing a peace treaty that would force them to sacrifice their lands. To that end, we can only speculate why the Niflheim Empire sought the Crystal.”

“So how do we start? Do we try to find Lady Lunafreya and Prince Noctis?” Terra asked.

“Hm, as impossible as it sounds, I believe that we would have better luck of finding the Crystal first. I'm not arrogant enough to think that I could use it myself, but I think that it might be able to point us in the right direction. After all, if the Oracle and the Prince are inherently bound to the Crystal, then we could theoretically trace that connection from the Crystal and back to them. Since it's a relic of light, it may be our best bet to defeat the darkness on this world.”

“You know, you said you don't wanna be a hero or anything like that, but you're sounding awfully heroic,” Terra smirked.

Isa rolled his eyes. “I'm not interesting in fighting to save humanity. People aren't _that_ endearing. But the fearlings endanger the lifestream. If they infect it, then they could drink its power. Not only would that cause the lifestream to dry up, but it would also create another monster of the likes in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

Terra winced and rubbed at his shoulder. Though the soreness had faded, the fear of what they faced had not.

“Y-yeah, okay, let's not allow that to happen again,” Terra agreed. “Welp, at least there's a few people I think we can trust around here! We could probably ask them for help, too!”

“Forgive me, but I question your judgment of trustworthy people,” Isa gently teased. “After all, you befriended _me_ of all people.”

Terra was about to protest, but Isa was right. Terra had a track record with trusting the wrong people. At least he was positive that Isa was reliable.

“Okay, you got me there. What about Weskham, though? He's been fronting our medical bills, food, and housing.”

“This city is Altissia, the capital of Accordo. Are you certain that Weskham Armaugh didn't take us in because Accordo is ruled by the Niflheim Empire? Even if we were both spies, he would have an inherent political duty to fulfill. If he thinks we're allied to Lucis, then he could be biding his time until we're seized by the government. If he thinks that we're with the Empire, then he could be proving his loyalty by housing us.”

Terra shook his head. “I'm not sure what his stance on everything is, but he mentioned that Niflheim pretty much lets Accordo govern themselves because their culture is so different. I don't think he's concerned about loyalty or anything like that. Also, he was friends with the former king of Lucis, King Regis Lucis Caelum. So, uh, I'm guessing that he's not really keen on Niflheim since they might've assassinated his friend.”

“Very well. Then we should have a conversation with him sooner than later. We may need to reveal our true motives.”

“Uh, I'd rather _not_ do that if I can...” Terra fidgeted. “Aqua would kill me.”

“Then I'll do the talking,” Isa's lip quirked in amusement. “She can blame me instead.”

“Oh geez, I don't know if I could let you do that either,” Terra rubbed a hand through his hair. “But I guess... I don't really have any other idea where to begin.”

“We will follow the light,” Isa smiled. “We'll ask the lifestream where to find the Crystal and how to use it. However, if it's prized enough to betray another kingdom during peace talks, then I doubt that it'll be easy to locate, much less approach.”

“And we can also ask Weskham for help too, right?”

“If we must.”

Later that night, after business slowed to a drip, Isa requested a moment of privacy with Weskham. Terra could only assume that he told the older man everything, but he didn't have the fortitude to join in the conversation. He probably would've botched it somehow by either saying too much or too little.

It must have gone well because Isa and Terra were permitted to continue staying in Weskham's guest room until they were strong enough to earn rent money for a hotel.

“Did...did you mention...uh, you k-know... _him_...” Terra stuttered as he lay awake in the cot. He swallowed the lump of terror and guilt that choked the air from his lungs. Not many people knew about the threat Xehanort posed to all worlds, and Terra was uncomfortable admitting his part in it.

Isa stirred in the bed. Although he had offered to trade the cot for the bed, Terra had declined.

“Yes. I told Weskham about Xehanort. However, I didn't tell him about your involvement aside from how you fought against him. I didn't stray far from the present debacle with the fearlings.”

“So you made me out to be the hero that I'm not,” Terra scoffed, relieved yet somehow disappointed in himself.

“On the contrary, I told him about your exploits in Radiant Garden. You defended innocent workers as they rebuilt. You sacrificed your safety and well-being to fight the darkness. And then, you befriended me and flew across the cosmos to fight fearlings. You may not see it in yourself at the moment, but you are a hero, Terra.”

Terra let Isa's words marinate. He didn't feel like a hero, not after all of his failures. Still, it seemed as if the other man was waiting for a response.

“Okay...thanks, Isa,” he finally succumbed. He felt like an impostor.

Memories of Xemnas flashed through his mind, unbidden. Terra bit his lip to keep from complaining aloud. While he didn't remember much of his time as Xehanort's vessel, he sometimes saw snippets of Xemnas' memories.

Xemnas had felt like an impostor, too. He had brandished wit and raw prowess to prove himself as an individual, as his own man, but in the end, he was just another pawn.

Terra shuddered and clenched his eyes tightly. Isa's breathing had evened out. The bluenette was already asleep. Without any further hope to distract himself with conversation, Terra instead tried formulating more techniques to fight alongside Isa. They had been sparring and training almost daily, and it felt so uncommonly natural.

He struggled against the memories of Xemnas and Saïx sparring. The two nobodies would fight. They would bleed. They would _fuck_.

He buried his face into the pillow the stifle a whimper as unwanted heat blossomed in his stomach. He pinched the inside of his thigh to keep his groin from responding to the memories of Saïx pressed against a wall, sweating and panting, mouth open and pupils blown wide, bare, muscular legs wrapped around Xemnas' waist as wet flesh slapped in the echoing chamber.

His hips stuttered against the sheets of their own accord, begging for friction against his shorts. Terra went rigid to keep his composure. Isa was asleep, just a few feet away from him. If Terra wanted, he could reach out and touch his face. Terror and desire swept through Terra's heart. Isa was so close to him.

He repeated Eraqus' mantra again and again in his head.

_Peace. Inner Light. Peace._

Saïx's tongue would be soft and wet against his throbbing flesh.

_Peace. Inner Light. Peace._

Isa would be tight and slick around him.

_Peace. Inner Light. Peace._

~~Saïx~~ Isa would mewl and growl and beg and demand and writhe and scream and arch and go taut and tremble and fall slack and sweaty into ~~Xemnas'~~ Terra's arms.

_Peacepeacepeace._

Terra denied his traitorous body until morning, when he sneaked to the bathroom and jerked his shame into the shower drain.

The shower tiles were cool against his blazing forehead. He opened his eyes to meet loneliness. What the hell was he thinking? He clenched his jaw as he felt the mess between his fingers wash away under the water spray.

He couldn't let Isa know. He was Isa's friend, and such stolen memories were a betrayal to him.

Terra never wanted to betray Isa. He bit his lip.

But what was the harm in indulging in fantasies? Terra couldn't help the way memories flashed across his mind. And it wasn't as if he was hurting anyone with the thoughts in his own head. If anything, he was only tormenting his own unexplored libido. He knew that he found Isa attractive. After all, he spent too many mornings thinking about his piercings in the privacy of a hot shower to not understand what he was feeling. He wanted to kiss his friend again and again, just as they had back in the Land of Departure. He wanted to touch him more, to feel that moonlit skin beneath his calloused palms.

And maybe, once Isa was feeling better, he could ask him. They still hadn't discussed what their kiss meant. There was every possibility that Isa may also want more.

Most people had the opportunity to understand their needs when they were younger. However, since Terra's time was so brutally stolen from him, then he had a lot of exploring to make up. Xemnas' old memories of his time with Saïx just happened to be the perfect fantasy fodder.

It was fine.

It was harmless.

So long as he didn't confuse reality for fantasy, then there wasn't a problem with indulging himself.

At least, that's what Terra whispered aloud as he took himself in hand once more.

Isa couldn't know.

On the night of the full moon, they met with Antonio, the gondolier, and they sailed to one of the docks the main boardwalk. Thankfully, Isa was steady thanks to the week of re-strengthening his body. Although he still wasn't fully recovered nor had he regained his lost muscle mass, it was a good start.

“Are you certain that we won't be ambushed by fearlings?” Isa asked, concerned. They both waived Antonio off as he sailed around to watch for more innocent civilians in need of safety.

“If a fearling attacks then I'll defend you. You can count on me!” Terra tasted copper in his mouth. How could Isa rely on him when he devoured tangled fantasies of the bluenette's most intimate moments?

They arranged their materia in a deep, wide bowl that they brought. Isa sat on the edge of the pier, removed his boots and socks, and dipped his bare toes into the water while they waited for the moon to reach its apex.

“Are you nervous?” Terra sat beside him. The body warmth was enticing.

Isa nodded. “The lifestream on this world is...different. I can normally feel it around me all the time, but this one feels so far away. I assume that it's because of the darkness but...”

“Do you still think you'll be able to talk to it?”

“So long as it's strong enough to visually manifest, then there shouldn't be a reason not to...” Isa bit his lip, and something like uncertainty passed over his face.

“I'm sure it'll be fine,” Terra reassured him with a steady clap on his shoulder. Isa smiled over at him, seemingly relieved. Terra bit the inside of his cheek.

Finally, the water began to glow a familiar, ethereal teal. Shame momentarily forgotten, Terra held his breath as the lifestream surfaced in the ocean and splashed against the edges of the pier. It wove beneath the boards and stroked against the materia in the wooden bowl before dousing them in pure energy until they glowed like miniature supernovas.

“Isa! Isa, it's strong enough to manifest!” Terra whispered like an excited child. “Look! It's recharging the materia!”

Isa stood and reached towards the tendrils waving from the water.

The lifestream curled around his fingers in familiarity. It flowed around his body and Terra swore that he heard soft, distant whispers. His heart caught in his chest, just like the first time, and tears of joy sprang to the corners of his eyes. The light twirled around Isa as if to compensate for the bluenette's lack of strength. His hair fluttered in the sudden breeze, carried along by warm eddies and salty mist.

It was going to be alright. The lifestream was strong enough to reach to Isa. Everything would be fine.

Isa trembled. Tears dripped down his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Terra murmured and stroked the back of Isa's dampened hair.

“I...I can't feel it,” Isa's horrified whisper sounded too loud in his ears. “I...can't feel the lifestream.”

Terra's blood ran cold.

“What?”

“It's right here. I can see it. I-I can almost hear it. But I can't _feel_ it. It's like I'm cut off, like a part of me is...gone...” he choked with a great gulp of air. “I can't feel it...”

“No, no, that can't be right,” Terra protested. He reached towards the light as well. It was warm and tingly against his palm. When it curled around his fingers, he could feel the air tremble with a soft comfort. His hair swayed atop his head as if a gentle summer breeze were encapsulating both of them. “Is it because we're not in Radiant Garden?”

Isa shook his head and fought to hold back another sob. His hand clenched at the light before him, but it slipped through his fingers like silk. He sank to his knees, the strength sapped from him. “N-no. It shouldn't matter where we are. I should be able to _feel_ it, especially when it's this powerful. I thought that maybe it was hampered by the darkness, but no...it's me. _I'm_ the one that can't feel it. _I'm_ the one that's broken.”

“That can't be...no, no, you're wrong,” Terra stammered. He dumped all of their materia into his pocket, pulled Isa up by his arm ,and all but dragged him back down the pier. Isa stumbled along, his knees weak from the shock. “Come on, we're going to the other side!”

He had to fix this.

Isa was more upset than Terra had ever seen him. He'd witnessed Isa's anger and frustration. He'd seen his snarky defensiveness. He'd seen his shame at his loneliness. But this was worse. It was so much worse. Isa's fear crackled through the air as loss ripped through him. The former nobody had seemed so proud of his connection to the lifestream. It clearly meant a lot to him, as if it was something he only shared with his closest confidants. And now...now Isa was so... _lost_. There was an empty agony in his gray eyes that made Terra's heart throb in sympathy.

He had to fix this.

Terra had seen many flights of marble stairs leading into the water, probably for passenger boarding. He hadn't seen anyone at the dock lately because travel to and from Lucis was still cut off. While the steps weren't a beach, they still led directly to the water.

Isa followed, mumbling about how he doubted that it would work. Terra picked him up effortlessly and waded waist-deep into the ocean, regardless of what may have been lurking beneath the dark waves. He held Isa tightly to his chest, afraid that the other man was too weak to swim. The terrifying revelation had shattered Isa's resolve.

Isa reached out with both hands towards the light. He pawed at the lifestream slipping between his fingers, desperately trying to cling to it. His hands splashed uselessly in the water. The light weaved around him and trembled as if it was trying to speak.

“I don't understand,” Isa whimpered. “I _always_ hear the lifestream. But this...I can only hear pieces of the whispers. It's so quiet and far away. It's all garbled gibberish.”

“You can do it,” Terra urged him. “Just keep trying!”

Terra didn't even feel the freezing water anymore. His legs were numb and his knuckles were white. Isa kept trying to speak to the lifestream, but he was growing increasingly desperate and forlorn. Minutes passed. Then, an hour. Slowly, the lifestream returned to the water and dimmed to blackness.

Isa collapsed against Terra, trembling and drained. Cold water splashed their chests.

“I-I don't know what to do,” Isa whispered between heartbreaking sobs. “It's gone...My connection with the lifestream is gone.”

“There must be some m-mistake. It's probably just uh, like, a geographical issue or something,” Terra babbled. He didn't know anything about the finer workings of the lifestream, but he was certain that there was a reasonable explanation that didn't involve Isa losing his abilities.

Isa whimpered and buried his face into Terra's chest. His pale hands clenched the wet fabric on his shirt and he shivered. Terra held him tighter and cursed the thrill that boiled in his groin. Horrified, he pushed the feeling away again and focused on cradling Isa as a friend would.

“L-let's go back to Maagho and warm up,” Terra stuttered. “We'll figure this out, I promise.”

Once Terra was satisfied that Isa's legs would hold him, he lowered him to the ground, fetched Isa's shoes, and returned to his side. Isa was sitting at the top of the staircase, knees pulled to his chest and face buried in his arms.

“Isa...”

Terra's heart felt like it was splitting. Isa was hurting so much. The bluenette was shivering and sobbing as if he had been ripped into a dozen pieces. Terra knelt beside him, even if he felt unworthy. He wanted to stroke Isa's cheek, to chase away those tears with kisses peppered all over his handsome face. He settled for rubbing Isa's back in the hope that his freezing hands were warmer than Isa's grief. It wasn't the time for inappropriate thoughts, much less such familiar actions.

“W-why?” Isa whispered hoarsely, voice trembling. “Why did this happen?”

“I don't know...” Terra admitted.

_“But I do.”_

Both Terra and Isa's heads snapped to the voice. A woman stood a few yards away from them. She had long black hair with blunt bangs, cherry-red lips, and a gilded, royal black robe. Her eyes were peacefully closed, but Terra had the impression that she could easily see them.

“Who are you?” Terra said cautiously as he stood. While it concerned him that he hadn't heard her approach, he couldn't sense any malevolence or darkness from her.

The woman inclined her head. “They call me Lady Gentiana. I am the High Messenger.”

“Messenger?” Terra asked. He heard ominous whispers behind him again, just like the whispers that haunted his dreams. Something colder than the water on his skin prickled against his neck.

Gentiana waved her hand and the sensation vanished with a cool breeze.

Terra shivered as the temperature dropped.

“Yes. I advise the Emissary with messages from the lifestream,” she said.

Emissary? Terra glanced around them, confused.

Isa stood with fresh resolve. His teeth chattered as the air became colder. “Why can't I feel it?”

She still didn't open her eyes, yet she seemed to glance at Isa forlornly. Within the span of a blink, Gentiana was standing directly in front of Isa. Terra almost summoned his keyblade, but he felt a reassuring warmth against his thigh from the pocketed materia. His barrier materia reached out to his heart and radiated pure comfort.

Gentiana gently stroked the scar on Isa's face. “Your soul is shattered.”

Isa gasped. His shoulders froze, rigid, and his hands clenched to fists. Terra wasn't certain that he heard correctly at first and he nearly asked for clarification before Isa spoke again.

“Did the fearling...?”

“Fearlings live to feed on terrified souls and will render one to pieces in order to consume it. While you still have some of your soul, the rest has been cracked into seven shards.”

“That's why Isa can't feel the lifestream...” Terra murmured quietly. Isa told him that it was a river of life energy that souls came from and went to between life and death. It made sense for his connection to weaken if his soul was damaged.

“Are those pieces of my soul gone forever?” Isa whispered like a frightened child in the dark.

“Not yet,” Gentiana pulled her hand away from Isa's face. “The fearling you fought scattered the shards among the worlds it infects. Since you are an Emissary, then the mark of the lifestream protects you from death. For now.”

“The fearling is biding its time. My soul shards are still protected by the lifestream's light so long as I live,” Isa concluded.

Gentiana nodded. “You should be capable of following the lifestream through various worlds in order to locate and retrieve the pieces of your soul. But beware: the longer that your soul is fractured, the less stable you will become. Your body and heart remain intact, but you, above all, should know how powerful the lifestream is. If you take too long to unite the pieces, then the energy will overcome what remains of you.”

“Is a piece of my soul on this world?”

Gentiana nodded again and another puzzle piece fell into place for Terra. When he had been frantically speeding through space after the battle in the Keyblade Graveyard, the lifestream had led him to this world because it was connected to Isa.

“This world is infected by a dark plague called Starscourge that creates daemons from the victims. I believe that you refer to the monsters as heartless. However, the creature behind this anomaly is different. The Accursed is but an empty shell of itself. It has no heart, no feelings beyond a blind thirst for revenge, and the fragment of its soul is twisted by an ancient darkness.”

Terra gulped. It sounded like the enemy behind the darkness in Eos was a powerful nobody.

“The creature has my soul shard, doesn't it?” Isa asked.

“Yes. It's using the power of your soul to create and control fearlings. Between the heartless and the fearlings, this world is in more danger now than ever before. You must ally with the True King of Lucis and the last Oracle to save this world from darkness.”

“But Prince Noctis and Lady Lunafreya are dead,” Terra blurted.

Gentiana smiled. “Are they? Strength is more than the ability to destroy. It's also the ability to create, to survive. All Emissaries are bound to the lifestream, through blood given or blood taken. They are strong. They do not die easily.”

Isa's hunch was right! There was potential that they could find the Oracle and the King still! They could track down the Crystal and save the world from darkness!

Terra beamed. “Isa!” he exclaimed. “We can find your soul shard and save this world! We can fix this mess!”

Isa smiled at him, hope glimmering in his gray eyes.

“Tread carefully, Warrior of Heart-Light,” Gentiana turned towards Terra. “You are not an Emissary. While the lifestream may protect you out of regard for your friend, you must rely on your own light to dispel the darkness at your back.”

Terra fought the urge to glance over his shoulder. “Sure! I've survived the darkness before. A few fearlings and heartless won't be enough to take me again.”

Gentiana hummed thoughtfully. She stepped in front of the keyblade wielder and placed her hand on his chest. Even through her gloves, he felt cold radiate from her and bury itself within his heart. However, it wasn't the cold of darkness. It was...different. It was cold like a quiet morning while the sun rose over freshly fallen snow. It was cold like jumping into a refreshing pond in the summer. It was cold like sea-salt ice cream and sweet tea.

She smiled at him.

“Another messenger will guide you on the night of the new moon. Until then, have courage, Dear Warrior. Your fears may one day seem insurmountable. When that time comes, have courage.”

Terra blinked.

Gentiana was gone.

He glanced at Isa. The temperature rose incrementally, but the brisk wind still cut through their wet clothes. Terra curled his arms around himself, confused but hopeful.

“So...what was that all about?” he asked Isa. “She said that she was a messenger for the Emissaries of the lifestream. What does that mean?”

Isa's teeth chattered. “It's not important. Let's go back to Maagho before we catch a cold.”

Terra had a sudden feeling that he wasn't the only one with secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the same graphic from last chapter for the general history of Eos, as it applies to this fic. While I hope it's not necessary to understand what's going on in the world, I personally always benefit from some sort of notes. After all, FFXV tended to spread a lot of its world building into various media outside of the main game installment.
> 
> https://crimsonenigma.tumblr.com/image/190737981348


	13. For His Own Good

Isa didn't like being afraid.

It felt as if his heart was being clenched in a vice and it made his lungs seize within his chest. Fear made the hair on the top of his head raise like hackles on a hound. It made him wish that his teeth were fanged once more.

But what he hated more than feeling that raw terror was knowing that it could be used against him. He never wore vulnerability well.

And Lea always knew exactly how scared Isa was.

“Hey, are you sure you don't want some more backup?” Lea's short brows furrowed over the gummiphone's screen. “We can pack up and tell Aqua that we're gonna help you two out instead of hunting fearlings on other worlds. If we all work together instead of splitting our groups up, then I bet we can find your soul shards in no time and kick ass in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

“There's no need,” Isa's tone was clipped. “We have it all under control and more keyblade wielders would only get in our way.”

The fearling from the Keyblade Graveyard had gotten stronger since Isa and Terra's defeat. It was boosted by Isa's soul and had infected more worlds. Worse yet, Master Aqua suspected that it distributed the seven pieces of Isa's soul among various worlds not only so that they would be harder to find, but because they could provide firepower for the darkness and fearlings.

Seven worlds.

Seven soul shards.

Seven fragments of his light.

The irony was not lost upon Isa.

“Stop bullshitting me, Isa. You're doing the thing.”

“What thing?”

“That _mean_ avoidance thing you do when you're scared.”

“I'm not scared. I'm just being practical.”

“Yeah, sure, and I'm a natural brunette,” Lea rolled his eyes. “You look like you're ready to rip someone's head off if they so much as look at you wrong, and you only get that aggressive when you're pissed or when you're scared as hell.”

Isa barely held his tongue from arguing like a petulant child. Lea wasn't wrong. Fear made him act like a cornered dog, all snarling and teeth and claws. Even Saïx had reacted the same when he realized that he was growing a new heart.

“We don't need backup. You and the others should focus on defending other worlds,” Isa crossed his arms.

“Alright, fine,” Lea threw his hands up. “At least try not to be a dick to Terra, though. You can't afford to piss off your only ally.”

Isa grumbled under his breath and he heard Lea groan.

“Oh hell, you've already pissed him off, haven't you? What did you do?” Lea asked.

“I didn't do anything!” Isa defended himself even though he knew it was a lie. In the wake of Lady Gentiana's message, Terra had asked too many questions that Isa didn't want to answer. Weaponizing his decade of experience using missions to deflect the truth came frighteningly easy.

_“Focus on the mission.”_

That had been Isa's response to every inquiry Terra made in the past few days.

_“You don't need to know what an Emissary is. Focus on the mission.”_

_“Lady Gentiana is a High Messenger. That's all. Focus on the mission.”_

_“Personal trivialities must wait. Focus on the mission.”_

Isa knew that it wasn't fair. He remembered how to be cruel, and oh it was so easy to let the cold words fall from his lips even though his heart screamed at him to cease such violence. But what else could he do? Terra was going to be hurt by both the truth and the lies, so it didn't matter which Isa told. He hoped that Terra would eventually stop asking. The keyblade wielder had no idea what he was getting involved with, and it was Isa's responsibility to protect him. It was for Terra's own good. He was protecting Terra from the worst.

Or so he believed.

_It_ had grown more powerful since their altercation in the Keyblade Graveyard.

“Please just try talking to Terra,” Lea pleaded with Isa. “He doesn't know you like how I know you. He's probably pissed off—and he should be—'cause you're being an ass. You know that he doesn't deserve it just because you're scared.”

Isa worried his lip piercing and refused to look at Lea. “But...I...I don't know if I can...”

Lea's voice softened. “Hey, I get it. I'm still trying to figure out my heart and all that shit, too. But remember the promise we made to each other? No more secrets, right? It means you've gotta build up the same trust for Terra, for both of your sake.”

Isa hated that idea.

Even though he tried to be more truthful with Lea, he wasn't always successful. He couldn't tell Lea about his sorrow over losing Xemnas, nor could he share the terror of being cut off from Xemnas' soul. Isa had tried to reach his former love, but the distance to Radiant Garden was too great for him to connect, even if he had been able to tap into the lifestream.

What was he going to do without Xemnas?

Xemnas' soul had been his primary anchor in this new life. Without that connection, Isa was lost. He was adrift. And if he died before his soul was repaired, then he would never see Xemnas again. Isa would become a fearling, or worse, he'd cease to be. He'd just be dead.

Isa shuddered.

Not so long ago, he would've wished for death if only so that he could be with Xemnas in the lifestream. Now, that wasn't an option. He had to get his soul shards back, and that meant that he had to start by eradicating the fearlings on this world.

He couldn't tell Terra. Terra hated Xemnas, and the keyblade wielder had enough to worry about without Isa mourning the former nobody, and Isa had too many goals that hinged upon their mission to be distracted.

And that wasn't even the only thing that Isa had to hide from Terra.

“Don't go brooding on me, now,” Lea gently chided.

“I'm not brooding, I'm just thinking.”

“Sure, your thinking face always looked like you've just visited the saddest dog pound in the universe.”

_“Lea_...” Isa warned his friend.

“Alright alright, fine, I'll lay off. But for real, think about it a little, yeah? It's fine to be scared, but it doesn't give you the right to be a dick, especially when you've got backup like yours truly,” Lea motioned to himself proudly. “And I'm always up for zooming across the universe to help you.”

Isa snorted. “Since when did you become the mature one?”

“Since I've been the legal guardian of two teenagers,” Lea laughed. “I thought that we were pretty volatile during puberty, but we didn't have giant magical keys and the abilities to cast explosive spells. You wouldn't believe how much renovation we have to keep doing on the mansion.”

Isa couldn't help but smile despite his fears. Lea always made him feel better, even if he said the sort of things that Isa didn't want to hear.

They chatted idly until night fell on Altissia. After saying their farewells, Isa gathered up his hunting supplies and waited for Terra to meet him at Maagho's dock. The brunette frowned when he saw Isa and Isa couldn't find it in himself to look into those brilliant blue eyes for fear of seeing something like disappointment in them.

“Let's go,” Isa meant to say something kinder, but the curt phrase left his lips before he could stop it. But it was fine. It had to be. After all...

They had a mission to focus on.

Their hunt took them out into the narrow, winding walkways within the heart of the city.

“Terra!” Isa slammed his claymore into the monster lunging towards the keyblade wielder like it was an oversized, flaming baseball. His shoulders strained and his hands vibrated from the blow. A fearling had infected a fire-based heartless and created something the hunter manual called a Grenade. It was a monster that began as the size of an inflated fitness ball, and then steadily grew with every physical attack inflicted upon it. They apparently lived up to their name when they exploded at full girth.

The Grenade slammed into a staircase with the grace of a wrecking ball. Chunks of stone crumbled from the wreckage as it recovered, leaving scorch marks behind. The monster's blackened, jagged mouth opened wide in a screech as the fearling grew another size.

“I thought that you said not to hit it!” Terra complained as he dodged the other Grenade zipping down the sidewalk. The fearlings were too dense to block without a magical enhancement. The hunter manual claimed that they usually weighed a minimum of two thousand pounds.

“Only physically strike when necessary!” Isa returned. He had been trying to gather his mana into a blizzaga spell, but his focus was constantly stripped as the two enemies barreled into them. His mana instead funneled to frequent barrier and defense spells to keep them both from meeting a crispy, flattened end. “Terra! Cover me already!” Isa yelled.

Terra made a sound of frustration. “These sidewalks are too close together! I can't hit these guys, and I can't block! We don't have room to keep dodging like this!”

“Then let's find more space!” Isa ran past Terra. Although he didn't like the idea of creating more damage in their wake, it was the only way he could focus his mana without dodging in close quarters combat. Lunatic, was best suited for medium to open spaces. Tight areas like the multitude of alleyways in this district put Isa at a disadvantage.

They ran through the night, flaming Grenades on their tails.

The two skidded around a corner, and the whisper of darkness tickled their ears as they awakened more enemies.

Two blue-gray imps, taller than Isa and hunched forward, materialized from the dark miasma. Wicked blades adorned their backs and their devil tails were hooked with a barb. The fearlings cackled. If Isa remembered correctly, they were called Salpinx.

Terra lunged at the two Salpinx, slashing at them both his his keyblade. “Isa! Can you cast spells again yet?!”

“Almost! I have an idea! Just hold them back a moment longer.”

Isa turned as the Grenades herded around the corner. They opened their mouths wide again, reminiscent of the Darkball heartless, and gnashed their charcoal-black fangs. Terra backed up against him, still defending them both from the Salpinx.

Isa waved his claymore at the Grenades, teasing them forward.

“What are you doing!?” Terra yelled.

“DUCK!” Isa grabbed his friend's arm and yanked him down as the Grenade fearlings hurtled towards the space Isa's claymore had been. Instead, the Grenades slammed into the Salpinx, knocking the imps to the ground and setting them ablaze.

“Blizzaga!” Isa cast. The Grenades writhed and screeched atop the prone Salpinx. The imps flailed beneath the behemoths, skin sizzling and freezing all at once.

Terra took the opportunity to strike the gaggle of enemies with a series of well-placed slashes.

The Grenades blackened and rolled away as they faded to ash and the Salpinx only writhed a moment more before following suit.

Before the ashes could blow away, Isa and Terra both drew their soul boxes. The box itself was simple and nondescript. It was carved out of a reddish wood with rounded corners and outfitted with a gold hinge. A single, gilded keyhole was in the center of the top face. Although Aqua had tested the Animarum extensively under Aerith's direction, Isa had no idea if they would actually work. The soul shards that the fearlings left behind were wavering indistinctly, lost and glowing oh-so-tiredly.

Terra tapped both Animarum with his keyblade. The keyhole shone as if it was lit from within the box.

The four teal souls perked as if they sensed the call of the box and they floated towards the two panting warriors.

“Oh gosh, oh gosh, I can see them!” Terra whispered in awe. “I can _see_ them, Isa!”

The bluenette couldn't help but smile as the souls went into the boxes of their own accord, seemingly unafraid thanks to the spells of light. Once fully nestled and safe, the keyhole on the Animarum dimmed.

“Wow...” Terra stared at his Animarum with a goofy grin on his face. “That's so amazing! Now we can keep the souls safe until we release them back into the lifestream!”

Isa couldn't help the corner of his own lips twitching. “We'll help them go home.”

“Home...”

If Isa didn't know better, he could've sworn that Terra was on the verge of tears. The brunette's eyes were getting moist and his breath hitched in his chest. Instead of answering verbally, Terra just nodded and reverently placed his Animarum back into his pocket pack.

Isa followed suit and glanced at the damage in the area. He didn't have any spells that could immediately rebuild the sidewalk or the crushed stonework and staircases. That would be a problem for civilian committees and workforces to fix.

They gathered up the leftover remains of the monsters that they fought. The Grenades had dropped their blackened horns and the Salpinx dropped a few jewels that they were hoarding. The two warriors went back to Maagho to collect their bounty.

As they walked, Isa couldn't help but stare at the spot behind Terra's shoulder, where the black _thing_ grinned with wide, flat teeth and slit golden eyes. He didn't even want to call it a proper name because it didn't deserve such power. Before Isa's soul was shattered, it had been crisp. Now, its dark mass fizzled like static and the edges wavered like a mirage. Sometimes, Isa had to stare at it harder, screwing up his eyes to measure it, to let it know that he was watching. Whenever Terra noticed, Isa immediately looked away. Such avoidance probably incriminated him further.

Terra couldn't see the _thing_. Isa suspected that he could feel it at times, but otherwise, the keyblade wielder was completely oblivious. It was for the best that he remain so.

While Isa's plan was delayed, he knew how to defeat _it_ without worrying Terra. He would save Terra. He would complete the mission that Xemnas began so many years ago. Everything would be fine.

Maybe they could both have a happy ending after all was said and done.

In the meantime, Isa just had to bear with the deceit for a little while longer.

He pretended not to notice when objects flew off of the shelves in the night. He ignored the way the _thing_ pulled at Terra's covers from beneath the bed. He bought some cheap chalk and drew illumination runes inside of the lampshades and sconces to strengthen the light. He created protection seals and tucked them beneath Terra's pillow and the thin mattress on the cot. He cleansed the room with white sage and slipped anointed oils into Terra's soaps.

Oftentimes, in the dead of night, he would stare at the _thing_ and revel in his victory as it glowered at him with horrific yellow eyes. On overcast nights, when the moon was covered by a thick blanket of cloud, he would stay up until dawn to protect Terra. The monster hated him. He could feel it's rage and hunger. It was starving, and he was denying it from making a meal out of Terra.

Terra couldn't know.

If Terra knew, then he would give it a name. If the _thing_ had a name, then it would achieve the upper hand and feed upon Terra's darkness.

For better or for worse, it had to remain Isa's secret. He would protect Terra.

However, Terra didn't seem to understand that he was being protected. He misinterpreted Isa's staring as mixed signals.

Isa would be lying if he claimed that attraction wasn't part of his motives.

Terra was beautiful. He was stunning and strong and just looking at his biceps made Isa go weak in the knees. His heart skipped a beat whenever Terra laughed and it cried alongside him when he was upset. Isa would stroke his own mouth when he took a shower. He'd lean back against the wet tiles and remember the feeling of Terra's lips on his own. He'd sometimes imagine those lips elsewhere, too.

His typical fantasy involved Terra and Xemnas both nipping at his skin in unison and taking turns rutting into his pliant body. Whenever he was left with a messy hand and shaky limbs, shame would immediately flood him.

How could he dare to betray Xemnas by fantasizing about Terra? Isa knew that Xemnas would be pleased if Isa moved on, but that wasn't something that Isa could accept. He loved Xemnas. He knew that he always would. Indulging his urges with Terra would be a betrayal to them all. It wasn't fair to Terra. It wasn't fair to Xemnas. It wasn't fair.

Terra didn't understand that there was a line that they couldn't cross. It was Isa's duty to maintain it.

Isa had to protect him from the _thing_ and from himself.

Antonio happily ferried them back to Maagho. The gondolier was pleased to see them around, and even more pleased to see that they were capable hunters.

“It's not every day that tourists become hunters! Why didn't you two fight before?” Antonio questioned.

Isa shrugged. “We were trying to get away from that life. It was dangerous and we wanted some sense of normalcy. I suppose it's just a fate that we couldn't escape from.”

While lies came easily to Isa, at least that wasn't complete falsehood. Isa had tried to have a normal life after Xehanort's defeat. However, he knew that he could never find such peace. In fact, he had been foolish to even attempt it.

Antonio nodded. “I'm glad that we've got you here in Altissa then. Goddess knows that we need all of the help we can get.”

They arrived back at Maagho. Andrea, the night shift cook, paid them their bounty after verifying the fearling remains, and they trudged back to the guest room. Where Isa was a night owl by nature, Terra was a morning bird. Isa had to nudge his friend awake once the shower was free, and afterwards, he found Terra nearly nodding off as they tended to each others shallow wounds and bruises.

While Isa was cleaning a burn on Terra's shoulder, the brunette dozed. His face slumped against Isa's chest and for a moment, Isa froze in panic. His hands trembled and his breath caught in his throat.

It shouldn't feel good. It shouldn't feel right. Was Isa really so lonely and desperate that he'd prey upon Terra's innocent advances?

Isa stood suddenly. Terra snapped back to consciousness.

“Oh, uh, sorry...” Terra murmured sheepishly and yawned.

“For what?” Isa lied as he loudly rummaged through a first aid kit on the dresser. “I just needed to grab another bandage.”

Terra glanced at the bandages already strewn on the bed, perfectly within reach, and sighed heavily.

Professionally, Isa finished tending to his friend. Terra began trembling.

“Did I hurt you?” Isa asked, uncertain of why he'd pry when he already knew that there was no way it was going to end favorably for either of them. He busied himself by cleaning up their supplies. Lea's reminder to be truthful and kind echoed in the back of his head.

Terra's jaw worked a few times and he hung his head in shame.

“Am I really so useless?” Terra finally whispered.

Isa stood at the dresser, still putting everything back into its orderly place. “What do you mean?”

“You don't tell me anything anymore. You keep shying away from me. I know what I was. I know what I did. I know what part Xehanort had in my sins and I know which were my own. I know which ones still _are_ my own. I know that I failed you in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

Isa swallowed thickly. “...That's unimportant. I've already told you before—you're Terra and only Terra. So don't dwell on it. We need to focus on the m—“

“Focus on the mission, yeah, yeah, I know,” Terra spat and glared at the wall. “You know, I really hoped that you meant it when you said we were friends.”

“I do!” Isa snapped.

“Are we really friends, then?” Terra challenged.

Isa couldn't muster a response.

“I've tried talking to you so many times since the last full moon, but you keep shutting me out!” Terra added.

“I'm not shutting you out!”

“Yes, you are!”

“I'm just staying focused! In case you haven't noticed, there are seven worlds, including this one, that are being destroyed because of my soul!” Isa clenched his fists. “We have to stop the fearlings!”

“You think I don't know that!?” Terra stood and threw his hands in the air. “I know that we have to stop the damn fearlings, but I was under the impression that we were actually going to work together! Instead, you've just been dragging me along like a damned errand boy!”

“I have _not_!” Isa couldn't stutter out a more dignified response than that. “I've just been staying professional!”

“Uh-uh, and do all professional killers make out with each other as part of their mission?”

Isa reeled as if he had been slapped.

Terra scrubbed his hand across his face and gave a hollow, helpless laugh that tore at Isa's heart. “You know, I hoped that maybe that kiss we shared meant something, but you still haven't talked about it! It's like-like you're _disgusted_ by it. And now you won't even talk to me about your intel on the fearlings! It's pretty obvious that you don't trust me.”

“How DARE you!! That's not the case!”

“Then what is it!?” Terra wheeled towards him, desperate and shaking. “I hate this! I hate not having answers! I hate it when people hide things from me! I'm scared, Isa! Your soul is damaged! You could die! But you won't tell me what's going on! You won't tell me what we're up against, and you won't tell me what you're feeling! You just keep shutting me up l-like, I'm a-a burden! How am I supposed to be your teammate if you won't work with me!? If you hate me, then just say it to my face!”

Isa's stomach dropped and he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. He couldn't make himself look in the mirror hanging above the dresser. Not only would he see his own deceitful face, but he knew that the _thing_ behind Terra would be laughing at him in the reflection. “I don't hate you... I just...”

He heard Terra scoff and there was a rustle of fabric as if he were clenching his fists within his pockets. The keyblade wielder was furious, and rightfully so.

“I don't hate you,” Isa reiterated. “On the contrary, I'm fond of you...as a friend.”

“As a friend,” Terra parroted with a sneer. “You have a funny way of showing it.”

Shocked at the response, Isa dared to look into the mirror. The _thing_ behind Terra's shoulder snickered. Isa smothered his cold glare. He couldn't afford for Terra to misinterpret it. Instead, he took a deep breath, sat on the corner of the bed, and primly crossed his legs and clasped his clammy hands in his lap to keep them from trembling.

He had to think of something. Isa desperately wanted to push Terra away and simultaneously hold him close. He couldn't have it both ways. He had to choose delicately. If he pushed too hard, then Terra could be devoured by the _thing_ on his back. If he didn't push hard enough, then he would be leading Terra on.

“Lea was right...I let this go on for too long. I'm sorry, Terra. I've been...scared. My fear has been making me irrational and...distant,” Isa licked his dry lips. He had to bide himself more time. “I will explain things to you when I understand how they fit into our mission.”

“So you're saying I'm too stupid to get it until you understand it first?” Terra scoffed.

“What? No, that's not what I'm saying!”

“Fine, okay, I might've jumped the gun on that,” Terra took several deep breaths and murmured the same quiet chant he'd been repeating all week. “Okay, then can we at least please talk about our kiss? It's driving me crazy. I can't get it out of my head and it's confusing me so much, Isa.”

Guilt welled in Isa's heart. Terra sounded so pathetic and defeated, as if he already knew the answer to come but needed to hear it nonetheless.

Why did it hurt so much to turn him down?

It wasn't as if their kiss was anything more than a mistake.

Isa steadied himself in the quiet room as he chose his words carefully. Every time he thought about changing the topic altogether, the mental image of Xemnas sprang up in his mind and the sour tang of betrayal coated his tongue. Finally, he found his voice.

”I don't deserve you as...more than a friend right now,” Isa finally admitted. “I worry that both of us are projecting and until we have the time to sort things out, then it's not fair for either of us to attempt anything more than friendship.”

It wasn't an entire truth, but it also wasn't an entire lie.

“What do you mean by that?” Terra's voice was smaller than Isa liked to hear. It trembled, shocked and fearful, as if some new horror had speared Terra through the heart. Isa winced. He'd gladly take the keyblade wielder's rage over this quiet hurt.

“Xemnas is dead,” Isa started with a heavy sigh. There was no dodging his way out of this now without hurting Terra further, “You comprised a part of him at one point, albeit against your will. I find myself comparing you to him, and that's unfair. I want to ensure that I can fully separate the dead man I love to the living man sitting before me.”

“...You still love him?” Terra's mouth was noticeably dry.

“Yes. And I always will, even beyond death.”

Silence stretched between them until Terra buried his face in his hands.

“Did you...think about him when we kissed?” Terra finally asked.

“No. But I thought of him afterwards. I felt as if I...betrayed him. I know that it's unreasonable because Xemnas wants me to live out the rest of my years in happiness. He would never keep me from loving another man again.”

“But all this is because you're still hung up on your dead ex,” Terra snorted disdainfully.

Isa bristled. “Don't blame this entirely on me. Do you even remember what you called me the night we kissed?” The old shock and residual hurt rumbled in his chest.

Terra dared to glance up at him and shook his head.

“'My Moonlight',” Isa snarled defensively. “You called me 'My Moonlight'.”

“And?”

“And that was Xemnas' nickname for me. So where did you get that? Are you certain that you aren't projecting memories of his time with Saïx?”

“What...?” Terra was visibly concerned, almost as if he was deflecting a truth he didn't want to hear. “I wouldn't do that! You're Isa, not Saïx!”

“And you're Terra, not Xemnas. Now do you remember his relationship with Saïx or not? Have you ever kissed someone before as you kissed me that night? Can you be certain that you didn't pull from his memories to know where to touch? How to grab my ass without rolling me off of your lap? How to breathe while we devoured each other?”

Terra faltered and hung his head. Guilt plagued his handsome face and Isa briefly wondered how many memories Terra had seen. “I didn't mean to...”

Isa looked away, unable to face his friend or the monster on his back. “If we're still attracted to each other after all of _this_ is over, then maybe we can attempt initiating a relationship. Until then...it's just best that we remain friends,” Isa slammed the nail into the coffin.

Terra took a trembling sigh. Isa clenched his own hands together so hard that his knuckles were white and he lost feeling in the tips of his fingers. He hated how much he almost meant the promise he made.

“So...you're not disgusted by me?” Terra dared to ask, uncharacteristically meek. All of his rage at Isa's secrecy had crumbled beneath his new shame. Isa didn't want to imagine why that could be. “If you hate me, then I can...I can sleep somewhere else. I can change my schedule so that you don't have to see me all the time. I'll do my best to make you comfortable.”

Isa blinked. How could Terra still be worried about that?

Xemnas had been considerate at times, but kindness wasn't something he had been familiar with. He saw accommodating someone else as a form of surrender, especially if it was at cost of his own comfort.

Terra had no such reservations. The keyblade wielder was so pure, so kind, and even in his agony, he was trying to accommodate Isa. The former nobody, hands stained with blood and blackness, didn't deserve such kindness.

And as much as he was kind, Terra was just so _honest_.

Even now, Isa was weaving plans behind the keyblade wielder's back. Although they were for Terra's ultimate benefit, they were still wrapped in lies and deceit. That familiar guilt welled again in Isa's stomach and he grimaced.

Terra was amazing.

Perhaps one day, if Terra didn't hate him for all that he had done and will do, then he'd tell him as much.

Isa chuckled a little despite himself. They were both so hopeless, weren't they? He genuinely felt guilty for preying upon Terra's hunger for praise.

“I'm not disgusted nor do I wish to avoid you, Terra. I think that you're kind and funny. I think that you have a good taste in music even though others may not agree. It's adorable that you think you're being sneaky when you take a few spoonfuls out of my jar of peanut butter or when you give me the extra slice of bacon at breakfast. I think that...you're exceptional, Terra. But I don't want to lose you as a friend. Not when I've finally realized how lonely I'd be without you again...”

Terra took a deep, shuddering breath, and finally looked Isa in the eye. “Okay. I...okay. I think that you're talented and strong and mysterious and well, uh, pretty sexy. If you think that it's best that we remain friends then...then I accept. I don't want to lose you, either.”

Isa smiled and leaned forward hesitantly. He rested his forehead against Terra's, as they had in Eraqus' library.

“Is this...acceptable?” Isa asked. He was toeing the delicate line between pulling Terra too close and pushing him off a proverbial ledge.

“Y-yeah...This is good,” Terra nodded dumbly. “And uh, thank you. I'm still pretty hurt that you didn't say something sooner, but I forgive you. I appreciate that you told me how you felt now instead of ignoring it more. To be honest, it was driving me pretty crazy.”

“And thank you for speaking with me. Thank you for your absolute honesty. I forgive you for the things you said when you were hurting,” Isa bit his lip and ignored the scowling _thing_ behind Terra's shoulder. “Do you think...are you going to be okay traveling with me still, knowing that I'm attracted to you?”

Terra smiled painfully. “Yeah. I want to know you more. I want to learn how to separate you from my memories of Xemnas and Saïx. I want to learn about you for myself.”

Isa hummed a sound of agreement and reluctantly pulled away. “Alright, then we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“That's right, it'll be the new moon! Lady Gentiana said that another Messenger would reach out to us,” Terra almost looked relieved. “We should plan!”

“How about we do that in the morning,” Isa chuckled. “You were falling asleep just a few minutes ago.”

“Well, now I'm awake again!” Terra pouted. Although guilt and hurt still lingered in his eyes, he was actively trying to shove it down.

Something in Isa's chest twisted at the knowledge that Terra was trying to hide his hurt from him. He hadn't intended on breaking Terra's trust, especially so soon. He would need to work on rebuilding it again.

_Only to break it again._

“Then _I'm_ tired,” Isa tried to convince his friend with an exaggerated yawn.

Terra rolled his eyes, but something like a smile was back on his face as he reflexively copied the action. “You jerk, you yawned on purpose.”

Isa smirked. “Prove it.”

Terra grabbed a pillow from his cot and playfully threw it at Isa. Isa caught it effortlessly, but a piece of paper fluttered out from the pillowcase. The keyblade wielder picked it up and frowned at it for a moment.

“Wonder what this is,” he murmured. “I don't recognize it. Maybe Weskham left it in the sheets on accident?”

“It's probably nothing,” Isa tried to keep his nerves at bay. The piece of paper was one of the protection runes that Isa had hid among Terra's bedding. He wasn't ready to explain it yet.

“Hm, you're probably right,” Terra crumpled the rune and threw it into the trashcan. Isa winced. The _thing_ on Terra's back snickered and wrapped its claws around Terra's throat. Terra seemed to falter in one of the rare moments he felt the _thing_. He rubbed his neck a little and suddenly looked uncomfortably cold. “Actually, Isa, I think sleeping is a pretty good idea. It's late and we should rest.”

Isa agreed and they both readied for bed. Isa didn't sleep. Instead, he focused on Terra's steady breathing as the _thing_ caressed Terra's waist and hips. It toyed with the waistband of Terra's boxers, threatening to slice the cotton with those deadly claws. The _thing's_ tongue stretched out in a lewd parody of intent and licked along Terra's jawline with a thick, sinuous stripe of sticky saliva.

It took every ounce of Isa's willpower to keep from launching himself at the monstrosity. It knew it, too. It taunted him with everything he couldn't have. It was tormenting Terra for _fun_.

Finally, in the dead of night, Terra whimpered. Isa, already awake, made an inquiring noise.

“What's wrong?” the bluenette asked.

“I'm...I'm scared. I'm really scared and I don't know why...?” Terra whispered as if speaking any louder would awaken a monster.

Isa knew why. The _thing_ on his back could reach him easier without the extra protection rune beneath Terra's pillow.

The next suggestion stuck on Isa's lips. He had an idea for a short term solution, but it may give Terra the wrong idea, especially considering the conversation they struggled through hours ago.

Terra burrowed deeper into the covers. Isa's resolve solidified, dignity be damned.

“You can share the bed with me,” he suggested. He had plenty of protection runes under his sheets and mattress. “In a completely platonic way, of course.”

Terra faltered, understandably so. Another moment passed and Isa heard his friend finally stand out of bed. His toes fidgeted against the rug as if he was trying to keep himself from running away from some unknown terror.

“W-would that be...okay? Are you sure?”

Isa scooted over. “We've slept in the same room for weeks. You've shared a bed with me before. This time is no different.”

Inwardly, Isa begged. He wanted to protect Terra. Despite every reservation he had about getting too close to his friend, he wanted to defend him from the _thing_ on his back.

“Alright...”

Terra shuffled towards the bed and laid down.

“You can get under the covers, you know,” Isa chuckled.

“N-no, this is fine. I have the blankets from the cot,” Terra said.

Isa wanted to argue that it would be fine, but he didn't want to push Terra too far away from what confined comfort zone he had.

“Okay,” Isa conceded. The thing scowled from Terra's cot. It wasn't strong enough to confront Isa yet, so it sulked and glowered from several feet away, effectively repelled by the multitude of runes and spells. Isa smiled, triumphant for at least this night.

They slept without incident.

In the morning, Terra claimed that he had been completely nightmare-free. Apparently, the thing had invaded his psyche more than Isa had anticipated. Isa insisted that Terra keep sharing the bed with him. Terra was understandably confused and gently rebuffed Isa's offer. Isa had no other way to convince him without telling him about the thing, so he let it be for now and sneaked more runes all over the cot.

Night arrived again too quickly for his taste, but Isa was grateful for the distraction. The new moon would've given the thing greater power over Terra's subconscious mind during the throes of sleep, but if they were up all night, then the keyblade wielder would have naturally stronger mental defenses.

Also speaking with the High Messenger, Lady Gentiana, would be their best bet at tracking down Isa's soul shard.

The two warriors cleared out the nightly fearlings from the docks and waited for the Messenger's arrival. At midnight, the wind picked up and blew through their coats. Isa felt the Messenger's arrival like a prickle in the back of his heart. He turned his gaze above the water. In the sky, a shape approached.

A small creature, something between a teddy bear and a stuffed cat, fluttered towards them. Its eyes were peacefully closed and a bright red pompom bounced atop its head. Tiny bat-like wings fluttered on it's back, appearing effectively useless against the wind.

“A moogle?” Terra asked. As it approached, he reached up to gently catch it and lower it back to the dock.

“Hands off, kupo!” the moogle wiggled out of Terra's grasp.

“Oh! Uh, sorry, I was just trying to help! I didn't want you to crash,” the keyblade wielder chuckled.

The moogle swatted at Terra's hands like a cat and then rubbed itself over as if to preen.

“I don't need your help!” the moogle declared. “You're the ones who need me, kupo!”

“Are you the Messenger?” Isa asked.

“Yes, Lady Gentiana asked me to lead you to the Cavern Stream. I'm Mog, kupo,” the moogle said.

“That sounds pretty important,” Terra mused. “Okay then! I'm Terra and this is Isa!”

If the moogle had more distinct eyes, Isa was certain that it would've rolled them. “I already know who you are,” Mog hopped into the air and began flying along the dock. The wind still blew at it, making the creature sway to and fro. “Follow me. We don't want to keep the High Messenger waiting, kupo!”

Isa and Terra exchanged a glance and then did as the moogle bade.


	14. The Cavern Stream

Mog led Isa and Terra in a dizzying path that wound through Altissia's boardwalks, staircases, and bridges. Just when Terra thought that they were headed north, they would turn west, and then south, west again, and north. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason that Mog was taking such a route.

Both Terra and Isa had to jog to keep up with the flying moogle that weaved through the city. A few times, Mog had flown across a canal and Isa and Terra had to keep an eye on it while they also searched for a bridge to take them to the other side. On more than one occasion, the moogle had abruptly changed directions again after they found a way over and then they were forced to search for another bridge again.

Isa grumbled a few times in obvious annoyance, but Terra found himself having a decent time. After all, this was better than laying awake in bed while terror crept down the back of his neck between unwanted fantasies of long blue hair and pale slim hips. Also, they were able to clear out small nests of heartless and fearlings as they went.

Terra hadn't been able to confess during their last big discussion. Fantasizing about Isa was awakening Xemnas' memories buried within his soul. Those stolen moments of intimacy were twisted and intertwined with Terra's hunger and he found himself simultaneously repulsed by himself and fascinated at the new indulgence. He knew that he should tell Isa about it, but he was too ashamed. They were friends, solidly and determinedly, friends. Isa had admitted that he would be open to the possibility of having a relationship with Terra once they defeated the fearlings and provided that they still felt the same about each other. Terra didn't want to jeopardize that chance by admitted to peeping at a life that was never his.

Finally, they reached the boardwalk in front of a wide basin of water. Across from them was the largest waterfall that flowed into the pool. The governmental building stood atop the waterfall, all bright white marble and warm lights. Mog stopped, finally allowing both of the warriors to catch their breaths. Terra was only lightly panting, but Isa was nearly doubled over. What Isa made up for in explosive physical power with his claymore he lacked in stamina, especially because he didn't go on daily runs like Terra did.

“Is Lady Gentiana meeting us here?” Terra asked.

The white moogle almost seemed appalled by the notion. “Heavens, no! I was only waiting for the Emissary to stop panting like a dying cow, kupo!”

Isa glared at Mog so fiercely that Terra's immediate reaction was to raise his hands and edge away.

“There are simpler ways to get to this spot without weaving all over the city, you overgrown cat,” Isa spat. His cheeks were pink, probably from more than exertion.

Mog's fluff bristled and its wings flapped faster. “It's not my fault that you humans keep changing everything around here! The flow of the lifestream is already chaotic enough because of the Starscourge, but then people keep moving whole buildings around, kupo!”

“Alright, alright!” Terra dared to interject. “Lady Gentiana is waiting, right? We should go.”

Mog rubbed at its head like a feline washing its face. It's pompom bounced comically and it made an irritated sound.

“Fine, kupo, but only for the High Messenger!” Mog said.

The moogle turned towards the basin and rubbed its stomach with both paws like a child after a full meal. It rubbed faster until the white fur began to glow bright pink. The pink light, illuminated from within Mog's belly, floated upwards through its chest and head and funneled into the bright red pompom. From there, a brilliant burst of light shot out over the water.

The beam drifted against the pool's surface, forging a magical path that glimmered like freshly fallen snow.

Mog grumbled a little about humans not being able to fly, and began to traverse across the basin towards the waterfall.

“Well, what are you two waiting for, kupo?” Mog asked back at them.

Isa and Terra both tested the magical walkway, and once satisfied that they wouldn't fall, they followed after Mog. The walkway vanished behind them as they moved forward, ensuring that no civilians or fearlings could easily follow.

Terra glanced into the water. There was no moonlight to shine into the water, but it seemed that something was illuminating the basin from below. Deep, teal lights pulsed in a steady rhythm that almost seemed like they were connected to a heartbeat. He found himself staring more until they finally reached the waterfall.

Mog stopped close to the base.

“You two wouldn't happen to have a barrier, would you?” it said, “I really don't want to get my fur wet, kupo.”

The mist from the waterfall had definitely gotten on all of them, but they weren't soaked through yet. Isa sighed and accommodated them with a wide, domed barrier above their heads. They walked beneath the waterfall, and Mog pressed its pompom to a strange glyph carved into the stone.

The glyph glowed. Veins of light slowly illuminated along the rock face from the center of the symbol and the pieces of stone began to slide out of the way until a roughly hewn doorway stood before them. Mog led them inside the pitch black tunnel.

Terra pulled out his keyblade to illuminate the path before them. The tunnel was tall and narrow. The black rock glistened with moisture from the waterfall and Terra traveled slowly to keep from slipping on the wet, roughly hewn floor. After a few hundred yards, the tunnel finally widened into a magnificent cavern.

Terra's breath caught in his throat. The walls and ceiling were no longer made of rock. They were materia.

The crystal walls pulsed in a brilliant array of teals and blues that looked like a frozen waterfall. The floor beneath them glowed with every step, leaving a temporary footprint behind fading like a firefly. The steady drip of water from the ceiling echoed and reverberated.

Terra walked close to one of the walls and drew his hand along it. The crystal glowed brightly wherever his fingers touched it.

“Are there hearts trapped here?”

“Nope!” Mog declared.

“But it's materia, right?”

“It's made of the same crystal as a materia because it came from the lifestream, too. In fact, it's a Cavern Stream, kupo.”

“Why?”

“Why else? To get scrawny mortals like you two beneath the Altar of the Tidemother, kupo.”

“Hm, the Tidemother is the water goddess, Leviathan,” Isa interjected. “The locals worship her, but according to legend, she's been sleeping for thousands of years. The Altar has been blocked off by the Empire.”

They continued into the next crystal tunnel. He could just vaguely see the outlines of plant life beyond the the semi-transparent walls. Fish swam around them them, oblivious to the mortals traversing below.

“Wait, are we under the water?” Terra asked. “Will the crystal hold?”

Mog nodded, pompom bouncing. “Of course it will, kupo. The lifestream doesn't half-ass its creations,” it glanced back at them and added with a snicker, “ _Most_ of the time.”

Isa made a rude gesture to the Messenger. Mog scoffed, but kept leading them through the tunnels.

Terra hummed in amazement. They were probably past the government building now, beneath the water of the top tiered basin in Altissia. He had read some books about the Altar of the Tidemother, but most of it was rooted in lore so old that it couldn't be reliable.

Some books said that the Altar was where Leviathan was struck down. Some say that it was where sacrifices to the sea goddess was made. Some say that it was for worship and praise for fair seas and bountiful fishing.

Isa said that it was probably all of the above, but neither of them could confirm it for themselves. Weskham, on the other hand, claimed that it didn't matter. He assumed that someone was going to awaken Leviathan soon, and the goddess was rumored to be wrathful.

While they were recovering in Maagho, the god, Titan, rampaged in Lucis. Apparently, Niflheim subdued it and saved the continent. However, there were reports that Titan disappeared after the scuffle. After that, there had been a massive storm that overtook the land. The anomaly baffled meteorologists and it receded as soon as it had arrived.

Weskham suspected that both incidents were the Prince's doing. According to legend, the True King of Lucis was tasked with traveling the world and forging alliances with the six Astrals. If Prince Noctis was alive, then he was following the legends to awaken Titan and Ramuh. And if Weskham's hunch was correct, then Leviathan would be awakened next, likely by Niflheim attempting to thwart the Prince.

Something in the depths of the water caught Terra's attention. He screwed up his eyes and all but pressed his nose to the tunnel wall until he made out the object.

A gigantic skeleton, a sea serpent, rested at the bottom of the basin.

The ancient bones were covered in algae, coral, and plant life. Fish swam between each enormous rib. The ghostly-pale remains of fins waved in the water, carried by the current.

“That's Leviathan,” Mog supplied. “Or rather, what's left of her, kupo.”

“Is she...dead?”

“What kind of question is that?” Mog scoffed. “Of course she's not dead! The Tidemother, the Hydraean, is sleeping, kupo.”

“But she's...skeletal? She looks uh, not alive?”

“Sometimes that's what slumber looks like, kupo,” Mog shrugged helpfully.

Terra gazed for a moment longer before he reluctantly followed Mog and Isa further into the tunnel system. He still glanced out of the materia and tried to measure just how large Leviathan was. Her bones stretched far into the basin, curled up like a snake.

They finally reached a cavern with a towering ceiling and a thin sheet of crystal barring their way. Beyond the crystal was a teal, upside-down, staircase that led to an equally upside-down altar. It was a mirror image of what was above the surface.

“How do we, uh, get over there?” Terra asked. The thin crystal was reflective, but instead of Terra's image projected in front of him, it appeared on the ceiling, upside down.

“Just move forward, kupo,” the moogle said. It flew through the mirror materia and was suddenly upside down and fluttering towards the altar.

Terra gasped and glanced to Isa. Isa gave him a reassuring nod and went first.

The bluenette stepped beyond the mirror and was instantly on ceiling. He doubled over for a moment, almost sick, before glancing around. He gave Terra a thumbs up and waited for him to join.

Terra took a deep breath and stepped through. His world rotated on its axis and for a moment, it felt like he had been launched into space without his glider. There was no up or down and gravity spun in a swirl of magic.

Finally, his feet were back on solid ground and his mind took a moment more to catch up. He was standing on the ceiling, upside down, alongside Isa. His equilibrium still told him that this was very wrong and his inner ears were throwing a fit. However, his feet remained on the solid ground/ceiling as if magnetized by a spell.

Isa gently placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled reassuringly. Terra's anxiety melted away. It was difficult to be upset when they looked ridiculous. Both of their hair was standing on end as gravity played tricks on them. Isa's blue mane looked like some sort of troll caricature and the toggles on his jacket kept tapping against his face, making the former nobody sputter and finally tuck them away. Terra's hair was probably the same. Even though Terra had no idea what was happening, at least he had Isa with him.

Terra took a deep breath and forced himself to move forward. Mog was already waiting on top of the altar with his little furry arms crossed like a stern schoolmarm. As soon as they reached the Altar, gravity reoriented itself and their hair returned to something normal.

“Looks like we're still on time even though you two dallied, kupo,” Mog said.

“Excuse me, you're the one who dragged us through town for an hour,” Isa grumbled.

Mog rubbed behind its ears again like a cat washing its face. “That's not important! Just be good and wait for the High Messenger, kupo!”

Only a moment later, a bright light flickered upon the apex of the altar. Terra shielded his eyes and squinted through his fingers. As the spots faded from his vision, there were two women and two small dogs in front of him. The air was noticeably colder, but thankfully not frigid.

He recognized the first woman as Lady Gentiana. The other was clad in a white dress and a matching robe. The wide hood covered her face like a veil. The brown dog was noticeably exhausted and laid down on the altar, panting and whining quietly. A white dog with a curly tail, was licking the other's head in pure affection and comfort.

Terra followed Mog's cue to bow, but Isa did little more than incline his head at the newcomers.

“Thank you for meeting with us, Mog, Terra, and Isa,” the woman in white lowered her hood and Terra recognized her immediately from books and magazines, “My name is Lady Lunafreya. I'm the Oracle of Eos. I believe that you've already met Lady Gentiana. The two other messengers are Umbra and Pyrna.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Lady Lunafreya,” Terra smiled. “And I'm glad you're well, Lady Gentiana.”

Terra squatted on his heels so that he was eye level with the two dogs. “It's nice to meet both of you, too.”

The white dog, Pyrna, barked of recognition. Umbra wagged his tail at Terra, but still didn't have the strength to stand.

“Is he okay?” Terra asked.

“Yes. Umbra is a messenger with powers over space and time. He simply expended his energy transporting us here,” Lunafreya said fondly.

“Do you have a lead on the culprit behind the heartless and fearlings?” Isa asked, arms crossed over his chest. If Terra didn't know better, he would've guessed that Isa was uncomfortable about something.

Lunafreya nodded. “My elder brother, the Empire's High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret, believes that the source of the Starscourge, the Accursed, is allied with Niflheim. While we suspected it before after Emperor Aldercapt assassinated King Regis, my brother's confirmation leads credence to the anomalies within their ranks. Specifically, we believe that Niflheim is converting its troops to the 'fearlings' you've mentioned.”

Terra bit his tongue to keep from cursing aloud in the presence of nobility. Isa scowled. So Niflheim had betrayed Lucis. Somehow, Terra wasn't surprised. The fact that the Empire was so ghoulish to stage the assassination as a terrorist attack was less upsetting than knowing that the military was creating fearlings from their troops.

The old men along the canal had claimed that the Niflheim troops weren't humans to being with. The military had developed machines capable of fighting in their stead in a bid to preserve human life. While Terra had seen machines possessed by heartless before, he hadn't yet seen what a fearling could do. Isa had mentioned that a fearling was ultimately more unstable than a heartless. A heartless still had a whole heart, but a fearling was just a piece of a soul.

“He's using my soul shard to spread their influence,” the bluenette narrowed his unnaturally-gray eyes.

“How do we stop them?” Terra asked.

“We all must work together. Terra, you're a Warrior of Heart-Light. Through the power of your heart, you have the ability to abolish the darkness,” Lady Lunafreya said. “If you fight alongside we three Emissaries, then we stand a chance at victory.”

Terra perked. Maybe Lunafreya would be forthcoming with information that Isa was not. “What's an Emissa—“

“If that's all the intel you have, then we should be on our way,” Isa interrupted firmly.

Terra glared at his friend. “No, not yet. I have more questions.”

Isa turned to him. “We've already heard all that we need.”

“Maybe for you, but I still want more information!” Terra snapped. Although his cheeks burned at the scene that they were making in front of the messengers and the Oracle, he was frustrated enough that he didn't care.

Isa opened his mouth to say something else, but Lady Gentiana appeared in front if the bluenette just like last time. And like before, she stroked the edges of Isa's facial scar.

“What are you afraid of?” she asked, eyes open to reveal stormy green irises.

Isa shook her hand off and stepped back, fists clenched at his side. “' _Blood given or blood taken'_ , right? Which will it be this time?”

Gentiana withdrew her hand and slowly folded them in front of her pensively.

“You're afraid of the price,” she confirmed.

“Not my price. I already paid that long ago,” Isa spat. “But you keep your hands off of _him_.”

Terra groaned and pulled his hair a little. “Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on!?”

Lady Lunafreya sighed and stepped closer to Terra. “The lifestream can only do so much on its own. It's made from pure life energy and it has no body. That's why it... _employs_ humans as Emissaries to follow its wishes. My bloodline is inherently tied to the lifestream to serve it as the Oracles. An Oracle is an Emissary of Communion. We act as a bridge between humanity and the will of the lifestream and, by extension, the will of the gods. Prince Noctis' bloodline is also tied to the lifestream. In a time of great need, the lifestream will call upon the True King of the Lucis bloodline and name him the Emissary of Valor to utilize light and drive away the darkness forever.”

“And Isa...?” Terra glanced at the bluenette, who conveniently avoided his gaze.

“Isa is an Emissary of Protection,” Lunafreya confirmed solemnly. “His role, as deemed by the lifestream, is to defend it. If darkness threatens, then he is to fight. He has already paid his price, thus he has greater life magic than Prince Noctis or myself. The fact that he's alive even though his soul is shattered is proof of his strength.”

“So fighting the darkness is like, a noble duty?” Terra asked. “It sounds like being a keyblade master.”

“But the lifestream demands a price that Kingdom Hearts doesn't,” Isa snarled. “Go ahead, Lady Lunafreya, _O Great Oracle_. Tell him.”

Lunafreya frowned at Isa and straightened her back, undeterred by his tone and stoically answered.

“The price is life.”

Terra felt as if his heart stopped in his chest.

“And how much have you already paid the lifestream for your duty?” Isa asked.

Lunafreya sighed. “...Nearly all.”

“Life for life? Does that mean that...that you're going to die?” Terra asked.

“Yes,” Lunafreya said, lip trembling. “Communing with the Astrals and healing the darkness is slowly killing me. And when Prince Noctis...”

“Once he awakens his full power as the Emissary of Valor, he'll die as well,” Isa added, arms crossed again. “That's why I didn't want you to know. You're already a keyblade wielder, Terra. You don't need to be an Emissary, too. The price is too high.”

“An Emissary through blood given or blood taken...” Terra repeated the words that both Lady Gentiana and Isa had said before. “Is it...not a voluntary price?”

Lady Lunafreya wouldn't look at him. Although she was still composed, her shoulders were shaking with every effort to keep from openly grieving for herself and Prince Noctis' fates.

Isa growled. “The lifestream claims to give a choice, but that choice is only an illusion. The Oracles can either watch all that they love be devoured by darkness or else they can sacrifice their lives, bit by bit, to awaken the gods in the hope that someone else can finish the job. And sometimes, the lifestream doesn't even offer the courtesy of a false sense of choice. Sometimes, it just takes the blood price under its own justification.”

“Don't speak as if it's not worth it,” Lunafreya's voice trembled, but slowly rose to a commanding volume. Her blue eyes flashed with a cool fire. “I may have been born into this role, but if given a choice, a true choice, then I would still follow this path. I would pay this price a thousand times over if it even grants a fraction of a chance for light to prevail. I acknowledge that I'm terrified. I don't want to die. But I trust in Prince Noctis and the Astrals. I believe in the future that cynics sneer at. I believe that the True King will return and that Eos will be saved!”

The crystal chamber reverberated with her words. Mog nodded sagely in agreement.

“I stand with the Oracle. She's stronger than you credit her, kupo,” Mog said.

Pyrna sat by Lunafreya's side. Even Umbra, exhausted as he was, sat on the other side of her. Lady Gentiana appeared behind the three of them in a soft gust of cool wind.

“You want your soul shard back. We want to end the reign of darkness,” Lunafreya was determined. “We have to work together to stop Niflheim and expunge the Starscourge from this world.”

“Fine,” Isa stubbornly agreed. “But only because the lifestream is in danger so long as the Accursed uses my soul shard.”

“Where can we find this Accursed guy?” Terra finally asked. His mind was reeling with all of the new information and he was struggling to keep on topic. He wanted nothing more than to cling to Isa for some reason and beg for reassurance that Isa wasn't going to die like Lunafreya and Noctis. He knew that if he even tried, Isa would likely shrug him off. The bluenette was obviously stressed and they were in public. Saïx had never participated in public displays of affection and Terra had a feeling that Isa wouldn't either.

“We don't know where he's operating from just yet, but we have a tool that will help,” Lunafreya offered a tentative smile, relieved. A sigh eased through the room as the tension slowly bled from it. The Oracle pulled a beautiful necklace on a silver chain from her pocket. The pendant was a teardrop bead of glass with a blue flower suspended within.

“This is a holy relic passed from Oracle to Oracle. It will light the way through darkness. I've used it in the past to lead me towards people who need to be healed from Starscourge, however, with Isa's abilities, I believe that it should lead you to the source of the darkness. The Accursed will have Isa's soul shard.”

“And if we defeat him, then Eos will be saved, right?”

“I only wish it could be so easy,” Lunafreya added. “From what the Astrals have told me, the Accursed's soul is twisted. He will need to be defeated both on the mortal realm and the immortal. Prince Noctis must use the Crystal to destroy him in both places at once. However, since the Accursed is using Isa's soul shard, then I fear he has become too powerful for even Noctis' light.”

“But if we just take the soul shard back, then the Accursed will be weakened enough for Prince Noctis to win, right?”

Lunafreya nodded and handed the necklace to Terra.

“Alright, then we'll fight! Don't you worry, we're gonna find the guy responsible for this, kick his butt, retrieve the soul shard, and help Noctis defeat him.”

“Thank you,” Lunafreya smiled. “In the meantime, I'm going to seek asylum in Altissia, so we may not have the chance to speak again until...my price is paid.”

“But why do you need to seek asylum? Wouldn't everyone be thrilled that you're alive?”

“Emperor Aldercapt of Niflheim has already declared me dead. Since the siege on Lucis, I've been hiding from Magitek troops. I believe that the orders are to capture me because I have something that the Emperor wants.”

“Something that he wants?”

“The Ring of Lucii,” Isa nodded. “I can feel it on you.”

“My understanding is that the Emperor wants to utilize the power of the Crystal for his own means, but he cannot without the Ring. It cannot fall into his hands. To that end, I will protect it until I can give it to Prince Noctis on my own.”

“So why Altissia? They're under Niflheim rule.”

“Because First Secretary Camelia Claustra was once part of the anti-Empire resistance. She became the First Secretary of Accordo to defend the protectorate from further Empire influence, not because she willingly bends the knee. She's aware that it's not in Accordo's best interest to remain under Imperial rule. To that effect, she will be my best chance at protection.”

“Will she support your communion with Leviathan?” Isa asked.

“I can only hope so. While the Hydraean is already rumored to be volatile, Niflheim's interference may create a veritable powder keg. As the First Secretary, Claustra would be able to evacuate civilians ahead of time.”

“And if she doesn't agree and turns you over to the Empire?”

Lunafreya smiled. “Then I will find a way to commune with the Hydraean nonetheless. Try as they might, the Empire will not stop me. I intend to announce my presence to the people as soon as Secretary Claustra has received me.”

“Ah, so you're going to try and corner Niflheim into endorsing your communion,” Isa nodded. “If everyone knows that you're alive, then it would seem suspicious if Niflheim troops arrested or killed you. If you also publicly declare your intent to awaken Leviathan, then the Empire will be more inclined to allow it. Also, a source of ours figures that Niflheim would want you to summon Leviathan so that they could kill her anyways. No matter what, you're determined to awaken the Tidemother.”

“Yes.”

“And if you die before you can commune with her?”

Lady Lunafreya didn't falter. “Then you will take my place. As an Emissary, I know that I can depend on you.”

Isa scowled. “I didn't agree to that.”

“But you will. I wish that I could be sorry that I can only offer this illusion of choice, as you feel that the Lifestream gave you, but I cannot. All that you can do is to find a reason to fight. I know what my reason is. Now you must determine yours.”

Isa scowled resolutely at the crystal walls of the cavern instead of answering.

“Uh, thanks, Lady Lunafreya,” Terra interjected before another yelling match could begin. “Is there anything else we can do to help in the meantime?”

“No, but thank you. Your heart is truly kind and your light is strong,” the Oracle smiled at him. “I believe that you can overcome the darkness binding you.”

Terra's cheeks heated and he felt his pulse rush. The pure trust and light that Lunafreya beamed was almost overwhelming. He knew that he had fallen to darkness before, but he wanted to do more now. He wanted to be better than he had been in the past.

He stuttered through an awkward farewell and then followed Mog out of the Cavern Stream and into town once more.

The sun was already rising, dyeing the sky in a myriad of pink and salmon hues.

“I'm going back to sleep now, kupo. If Lady Gentiana has any other messages for you lot, then you'll be seeing me again, kupo,” Mog yawned and rubbed behind its ears. It fluttered up high into the air until the gentle breeze ushered it away.

Terra and Isa went back to Maagho in silence. As they sat aboard the gently swaying gondola, he reflected on their meeting. It felt as if Lady Lunafreya, the messengers, and Isa were fighting for a completely different team than Terra. They spoke of forces greater than the mortal realm and they used lingo that flew over Terra's head. Although he trusted that they were fighting for the right thing, it was odd to leave the meeting more confused than when he had arrived. It bothered him. He didn't like the secrets. He didn't like the uncertainty trying to twist around his heart. He didn't like feeling as if he was kept out of the loop because of his past mistakes. Lady Lunafreya had mentioned his darkness. Although he was trying to be better, he knew that he would always be tainted. Xehanort had left a black stain on his heart that could never be scrubbed clean. Although he could learn how to contain his darkness, he didn't dare fantasize that he could be rid of it entirely.

Did Isa not trust him because of that as well? Although Isa was also tainted by darkness, he was still an Emissary. From what Terra understood, Isa was blessed by the lifestream. Despite his past mistakes, he was still part of a mystical team that seemed to hoard their secrets. Was Terra's dark heart really so repulsive that Isa couldn't bear to share his knowledge?

The thought alone hurt. Should he bother asking Isa for more information again, or would it push the bluenette further away? He couldn't stand the thought of remaining in the dark, but he also feared losing Isa's remaining friendship. Would it be worth it?

It had to be. He had to trust in his friend. He swallowed the thick lump of terror in his throat.

Finally, Terra spoke.

“Why didn't you tell me about all of this, Isa?” Terra's voice was smaller than he would've preferred. He rolled the necklace pendant in his hand. “Do you not trust me?”

“You're the type to needlessly martyr yourself if you think it'll help even a single person,” Isa's lips thinned. His voice lowered to a whisper that Terra wasn't certain if he was meant to hear. “Only one of us needs to pay the price, Terra. I won't let it be you.”

“I hate all of this talk about prices and death. You've apparently already paid your price. Will you finally tell me what that means?” Terra dared to ask.

Isa glanced at the water as they skimmed through the canals. For a moment, Terra almost worried that Isa was going to throw himself overboard in a bid to run away. Instead, the former nobody cleared his throat and clenched his fists in what Terra could only assume was determination.

Isa looked up at him, gray eyes echoing some fathomless emotion that Terra couldn't pinpoint.

“...Yes.”


	15. The Price

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, sorry for the late upload! Life got hectic
> 
> Side note, there's a minor trigger warning for this chapter. It's tagged in the notes at the end, but we didn't wanna put it up top because it could be ~spoilery~
> 
> Enjoy!

Terra was deep in thought by the time that they reached Maagho. Residual frustration and hurt echoed in his heart, and he tried to reason with it to no avail. Isa had purposefully kept information from him. If not for Lady Lunafreya, then Terra would still likely be in the dark. While at least Isa hadn't outright lied, he had still hidden so much from Terra that the keyblade wielder could only imagine what else Isa was keeping from him. Saïx had been fond of secrets, especially at the detriment of others. While Terra wanted to believe that Isa wouldn't follow the same pattern, he still had to wonder if deceit was less of a nobody-behavior and more of an Isa-behavior.

He hated this. He hated second guessing his friend. He hated second guessing himself.

Isa seemed to struggle to find words, even for the most mundane tasks. He told Terra that he at least wanted to brew some coffee before speaking to him because it would likely take awhile. When Isa returned from the kitchen, he also had a cup of hot black tea for Terra, with just the right amount of honey and cream.

Chatter from the morning crowd echoed from downstairs. The mugs steamed gently, soothingly, on the nightstand. Isa sat crosslegged at the head of the bed and fiddled with a pillow in his lap.

“Alright, so what are you going to tell me about this Emissary business?” Terra prompted. He straddled a chair backwards and crossed his arms.

Isa's brow furrowed. His scar crinkled between his eyes and he tugged at the corner of the pillow to occupy his hands.

“As Lady Lunafreya said, an Emissary is an envoy who is tied to the lifestream by blood, and thus by life,” he began, wetting his lips between words. “The lifestream usually makes a deal with Emissaries before bonding. It lays out the cards, so to speak. A person will gain the power of the lifestream in return for their life energy. Contrary to how it may sound, it's not a bargain made out of selfishness or any ill will on the lifestream's part It is usually a deal offered in a bid to protect the lifestream, and by extension, every soul within the world. Someone like Prince Noctis' bloodline was likely offered the power to save Eos in exchange for their life. And that sounds like a good deal to anyone who's desperate enough.”

“So that's the 'blood given' that you guys keep mentioning. What do you mean by 'blood taken'?” Terra asked.

“Sometimes, the lifestream doesn't bargain. Sometimes it just...chooses. It will trade that person's life for power, even without their acknowledgment. Again, this is in a bid to protect all souls in the world. But that person will still be bonded to the lifestream, for better and for worse.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“Yes...No... My situation was...unique,” Isa looked away. “Do you recall any of Xehanort's experiments while he was in Radiant Garden?”

Terra flinched. “You mean, when he stole my body and plotted to destroy the whole world in an effort to split his heart and soul? Not really.” Bitterness dripped from his tongue, making him itch for the sweetened hot tea within arm's reach. He didn't make a grab for it just yet lest he spook Isa like some sort of startled woodland animal.

Isa jerkily nodded. “During his experiments, he wrangled a lost soul from the lifestream. I never knew her name for certain, but the reports called her Subject X. The lifestream called her Ava. I only learned this towards the end of...you know.”

Terra nodded. Isa continued.

“After Sora returned Radiant Garden to a world of light, I was able to unseal the lifestream again. I was still a nobody, as Saïx. Although I lacked many abilities, I could still vaguely communicate, so I asked it about her. Apparently, Ava was a keyblade master from long, long ago. There was a war of some nature, and she traveled far from her home to find a way to stop it. The lifestream felt the danger that it was in, and then found her as a warrior of light. It made the bond without her consent. She saved as many people as she could while utilizing the lifestream's offered power alongside the light from Kingdom Hearts, but then she...died.”

“Blood taken...” Terra exhaled.

“Yes. Blood taken,” Isa's breath shuddered before he continued. “I knew that I felt a kinship with her when I was a child, but after the world fell to darkness...I fear that her soul was devoured. I couldn't save her...”

“Why didn't she return to the lifestream?”

“She couldn't. Not only had Xehanort's experiments altered her, but when the world fell...I...I sealed the lifestream away,” Isa looked at his hands in defeat. “I didn't consciously understand what I had done, but I knew that darkness could not be allowed to corrupt the stream and that it was my duty to protect it. I recall my heart being torn from my chest by heartless. I recall being bodiless. I recall the terror of locking the lifestream, of protecting Lea, of fighting to survive. And when I awoke again, a few years had passed. I was lost, alone, and without a heart.”

A memory flashed in Terra's mind's eye. A young man on the cusp of adulthood, blue hair, naked, shivering, confused. The man would've been afraid if he had known how to be. Instead, he was like a feral hound, all claws and snarling fangs. Xemnas found him in Twilight Town and gave him a name. The crinkled X-shaped scar relaxed on the man's face. A memory of satisfaction bloomed in Terra's chest. He shook his head to clear the feeling.

“You were Saïx,” Terra's voice was barely above a whisper.

Isa nodded.

“But...how did you lock the lifestream in the first place?” Terra asked. “Was that when the lifestream made you an Emissary?”

“I had already made my pact years before,” Isa sighed. He rubbed his temples as if to fight off a headache. Exhaustion eked from every sigh. “My apologies. This is...difficult.”

“How can I make it easier on you?” Terra asked. He didn't want Isa to stop speaking. He wanted to know more, but he also feared that he was pushing too hard. Asking this information of Isa already felt as if he were asking the bluenette to flay himself alive.

Isa seemed to think for a moment. “Can you please bring the materia here?”

Terra climbed up on the foot of the bed, and arranged the materia between them. Isa's expression relaxed as he gently caressed each one. They glowed in response and light danced between Isa's fingertips and the materia like teal marionette strings. The lightstrings unraveled, as if Isa was pulling thread from a knit sweater, and the mass began forming shapes and scenes before Terra's eyes.

“Lea and I were strange,” Isa began. The teal light at his fingertips weaved through the air to make vague outlines, as if it were playing the memories. The outlines glowed like miniature neon signs. “We were both loners compared to the other children, but we found a camaraderie in that. We were always together, and we aided each other in our shenanigans. I would pretend to hex other children at the school and Lea would pretend to set them on fire for me. Whenever someone hurt Lea, I would find them at recess and stick gum in their hair. One time, I even brought a frog in a jar to class and told everyone that I had transmogrified one of the bullies. Lea confirmed my claim by weaving an elaborate tale that involved speaking in tongues and brewing magic potions by the full moon's light. Our teacher made me release the frog.”

Isa chuckled a little as the teal lightstrings played out the scenes. Two boys with spiky hair were laughing and playing. They were catching bugs and frogs and staying up late in makeshift tents. They found a hidden alcove by the beach and cuddled by the campfire. Then the boys grew. The teenagers drank stolen bottles of alcohol instead of juice boxes and smoked harmless, recreational drugs until they were giggling incoherently on the beach. Suddenly, despite the stolen moments of joy, they stopped smiling as often.

“As we got older, Lea and I outgrew our childhood games. Lea tried to fit into other cliques. I didn't. Our friendship began to splinter and we were drifting apart,” Isa said. In the lightstrings, the boy with the long bangs reached for his friend, fingers trembling and mouth forming silent pleas. “I was desperate to keep him by my side. So I convinced him that we should date. I knew that I was gay, and I knew that I loved Lea. And although Lea also fiercely loved me, his love was different.”

The boy with long bangs tried to pull his friend into a kiss, but the other boy, Lea, walked past him instead.

“Lea's aro-ace, but we didn't have those words until only a few years ago, after we recompleted. He just thought that he was broken. He thought that there was something wrong with him when he didn't enjoy our intimacy or when he had trouble professing romantic love to me. At the time, I thought that maybe I wasn't good enough for him just as he felt that he wasn't good enough for me. In all honesty, we weren't compatible. Although we understand and accept Lea's sexuality now, we were utterly devastated at the time.”

The two teenagers in the lightstrings sat back to back, leaning on one another but not initiating further contact. Finally, lightstring Lea stood. A rolling suitcase materialized in his hand and he walked away. Teenage Isa reached out to his departing friend only for stacks of cardboard boxes to block his path and wall him in.

“When I was sixteen, my mother received a promotion at work. We had to move to another city. My parents arranged it so that we would be settled in before the new school year began. I had hoped to spend as much time with Lea as possible before I attended a different school district, but Lea chose that summer to stay with his uncle in Balamb Garden. His uncle worked with the military and he was part of the review team for the new SeeD candidates. Lea had always toyed with the idea of joining a Garden's forces, but he debated whether becoming a Garden SeeD or ShinRa SOLDIER was best for him. Shadowing his uncle was an enlightening experience. But a few weeks into the break, I was desperate for comfort. I called him relentlessly only for the messages to fall to voicemail. When he finally returned my calls, it was to finally dump me. Although I can't say that I didn't deserve it or that it was Lea's fault, I was stricken all the same.”

Teenage Isa sobbed. He fled to their alcove on the beach and drank his sorrows away. He smashed the empty tequila bottle against the wall. He kicked sand into the fire until it sputtered.

“I was angry. I was hurt. I took our stash of weed and booze and I got wasted. I wanted to forget about Lea.”

The teal lights tangled together until they formed a shoreline and a bright, full moon. Tendrils began rising from the ocean, dancing like effervescent ribbons. The boy waded into the water.

“I saw the lifestream. I wanted to play in it, like a kid again,” Isa's voice shook. “I wanted to remember what it was like to feel happy.”

The teenager sloshed further and further from shore. Too far. A wave overtook him. A riptide snatched him away. The lightstrings tangled like sea foam crashing against the rocks. A hand rose from the water, desperate, afraid. It was pulled under again. The full moon wept and melted into the water.

“And then I died.”

The lightstrings finally stabilized again like a calm seashore. Isa's breathing was shallow and tight.

“I'm...I'm so sorry, Isa...” Terra whispered. Sorrow filled his lungs. “Did someone save you?”

“No,” Isa shook his head, finally snapped from his reverie. “But I wasn't...gone. I only have broken memories of what happened after that.”

The lightstrings thrummed to life once more. They illustrated a scene of police officers and paramedics on the beach, shielding the bloated body of a teenage boy from view. The teenager's face was a mess, and a sharp X marked where he had struck his head on a rock. A nearby family was on the beach. The father was speaking to the detectives and the mother was consoling her two young children.

The teenager was zipped into a body bag only to be unveiled again in a casket.

“I remember watching tourists find my corpse. I remember the police hauling my body to a morgue. I remember my father crying at my funeral. I remember trying to follow my parents when they moved out of the house, but I couldn't. I was rooted to the spot where I drowned. Every thought that I had was half-aborted, like a dream. I knew that I didn't have a body, but I didn't understand that I was dead. Every time I imagined closing my eyes, I'd try to find my way home. When I'd open them again, I was always back on the beach.”

The wavering outline of the teenager stood on the beach shore among hundreds of other people. Children ran through him. The waves crashed around his ankles. No one saw him.

Then, Lea returned.

“I only remembered when Lea came back. He didn't know that I had died. He thought that I moved away with my family. But whenever he was at the beach, in our alcove, I felt alive. Everything was clear. I could hear and see. I could taste the salt in the air and the ash from the campfire. I could smell the whiskey on his breath and the smoke from his bowl. I realized that I could follow him. Where I could only remain on the beach of my own volition, when I was with him, I could go farther. He was my anchor.”

The teenage Lea walked through town with a wavering Isa trailing behind him. But when Lea finally walked past one street too many, Isa was transported again to the beach.

“But I couldn't leave the city. I remember my rage. I remember my sorrow and my hurt. I screamed, wordlessly into the empty sky. And then, on the night of a full moon, when the lifestream was above the high tide, something finally responded to me.”

Teenage Isa was sobbing on the beach shore when teal lifestream tendrils reached out to him, wiping his tears away.

“I was desperate. I missed my family. I missed Lea. I missed being seen and heard. Darkness reached for me, and I nearly reached back. But then, the lifestream told me that it could help. It gave me a new body.”

The lines that made teenage Isa's body solidified. A materia crystal settled in his chest. A heart. Then, Lea arrived back on the beach. He ran towards a bewildered Isa, and the two hugged and cried on the sand as the sun rose high into the sky. Lea stroked the edges of Isa's new scar, a deep 'X' in the center of his face. The teenage Isa shrugged the touch away.

“I still don't know if I was truly alive again or not at that time, but I was happy. I told Lea that I had run away from home. Since I would've been 17 years old, then I didn't need to worry about truancy laws. Lea accepted that I just dropped out of school and returned to Radiant Garden. I didn't tell him that I had died on the night he broke up with me. I didn't even care anymore. I just wanted to be with him, even if we were only friends again.”

The two teenagers resumed their previous shenanigans. They played on the beach. They fished on the pier. They shopped in town. They visited Ansem the Wise's castle.

“While Lea had been in Balamb Garden, he heard that a lot of soldiers were skeptical of Ansem the Wise's newest work in Radiant Garden. Historically, Radiant Garden was always a hub for technological advances. They were a neutral party between Galbadia Garden and the rest of the world, but the technology in Radiant Garden was always under lock and key. Everyone gossiped about it.”

The stringlights illustrated Lea attempting to sneak into Ansem's castle only to be thwarted by the guards. It wasn't until the teenage Isa, with new magic, teleported them inside that Lea had the chance to explore.

“While both of us were aware that magic existed in our world, we knew that it was uncommon. Lea had simply accepted that I had apparently awakened this new power, and I used it to transport us in and out of the castle. I used it to hide us from view. I used it to play like a child all over again. It wasn't until Xehanort arrived that we actually found any experiments that piqued our interests. That's when we discovered Ava.”

The two teenagers huddled around the iron bars of a large dog kennel. Ava wasn't even in a proper cell. She was dressed in a familiar black coat and she whimpered like a frightened child.

“The lifestream begged me to stop Xehanort's experiments, but I ignored the call. I just wanted to be free again with Lea and Ava by my side. I just wanted to live. And then...the world fell. Lea and I both lost our hearts. I sealed the lifestream. Ava's soul was lost. Lea died. I died again.”

Isa’s voice went quiet as he stared into the lightstrings. He didn’t seem to realize that he was crying. Terra reached out tentatively and wiped his cheek with warm fingers and a grateful smile.

“I'm so sorry for all of that. But I'm happy you're here now, in this lifetime,” Terra whispered, throat tight with emotion.

Isa took Terra's hand in his own and gently squeezed it. His lips thinned and pursed and thinned again as he tried to find more words. Terra waited patiently, losing himself in Isa's gray irises as the bluenette's gaze flicked over his shoulder time and again.

“I...I was afraid to tell you. I did such horrible things after that,” Isa whispered as if speaking louder would awaken a beast from the shadows. “When I finally confessed to Lea—Axel—about the truth, he was shocked. Since we were without hearts, then Axel logically knew how horrible it was that he couldn't even feel guilty about it. But he wanted to. He tried to feel guilty and he tried to punish himself for it. I used that to my advantage. At first, I thought that making Axel feel guilty was a good thing. It was vindication. He deserved to suffer for my fate. But then, I weaponized it. I sent Axel on impossible tasks in the name of 'repenting' just so he would depend on me to patch him up when he hobbled back to the Castle. I convinced him that his sacrifice was necessary to get our hearts back, especially since I blamed him for their loss in the first place. I even instructed him to sleep with other members of the Organization in a bid to gather more information, fully knowing that he never enjoyed physical intimacy. I set him up for discomfort, pain, and failure at every turn and he allowed it because I had _convinced_ him that he deserved it. We could've worked together to overthrow the Xehanort before the Organization ever spiraled out of control, but I coveted my power over Axel too much to risk losing it. I thought that the lifestream had stolen everything from me. I felt that it had somehow orchestrated the entire sequence of unfortunate events. Exercising my new power over Axel eased the shadow of terror that haunted me. While I couldn't control what happened in Radiant Garden, I could control him.”

Isa took a deep breath. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if it could block out the memories.

“Do you want to...stop?” Terra offered. As much as he was still curious, he didn't want to hurt Isa, and oh, Isa was definitely hurting.

“No. I...I already began this story. I need to finish it,” his breath was as shaky as the last leaf in autumn.

Terra reached for the black coffee, forgotten and cold on the nightstand, and handed it to Isa. The bluenette smiled despite himself and took it into his free hand. Although Terra knew Isa hated cold coffee, the relief on Isa's face was indescribable. He sipped at it, sighed, and breathed again.

“I willingly sowed betrayal, and eventually, Axel stopped playing by my rules. He rebelled. It began as small acts of defiance, but each time I tried to rein him back in, he'd pull further away. He discovered th-that I was having an affair with Xemnas—that I had even loved Xemnas for years. That's when everything fell apart. He lost all loyalty to me, rightfully so. He blackmailed me from then on. He used his Assassin nobodies to spy on Xemnas and I, and threatened to sell my secrets. He purposefully poisoned the lifestream on the World that Never Was with darkness to make my soul suffer. He even found my heart, still encased in crystal as a materia, and he shattered it in front of me and fed the shards to a swarm of heartless in the dark corridors. After some years, he even used his filthy blackmail to protect Roxas and Xion. I was left with only the memories of fury and betrayal burning in the new, fledgling heart that was budding in my chest. I became jealous of everyone he loved, and I let that jealousy and rage overcome me. Not even Xemnas could've stopped our war even if he had known about it.”

Terra absently rubbed his thumb over Isa's pale knuckles as he absorbed the confession. Although Saïx's sins were reprehensible, Terra had a difficult time seeing the deeds as Isa's.

“That's...horrible, but you're not Saïx. I don't think you, as Isa, would've done any of that. After all, that's why Lea's still your friend, right?” Terra slowly said.

Isa snorted and looked away from Terra. “He still feels guilty. Even after everything I've done to him, he keeps apologizing for 'killing' me, as he puts it. I can't be certain that his guilt isn't from my manipulation. But...we agreed to try being friends again. We promised not to hide secrets or manipulate one another. It's...difficult. We try, but sometimes, we try too hard. Our friendship will never be the same as it was when we were children, or even after I was borne again from the lifestream. That's why...why he and his friends don't live in Radiant Garden.”

“Then why don't you live in Twilight Town?” Terra asked.

“I can't,” Isa shook his head. “I'm bound to the lifestream in Radiant Garden. Although I can connect to other lifestreams on other worlds, the one in Radiant Garden will always pull me back. The world barriers don't allow for freeflow of power. That's why...why I wanted the power of Kingdom Hearts. I wanted to shatter the world barriers. I already knew that I could never be free of my bond to the lifestream, but I had hoped that, by breaking the barriers, I could live freely without being drawn back to a nearly dead world.”

“Why were you afraid to tell me, though? Did you fear that I'd judge you for...your past?”

“Because I thought that you'd leave, too,” Isa's voice shuddered and his lips pursed as if the following words rotted his tongue within his mouth. “Xemnas...he...eventually he discovered my initial intentions. I had caught him...well, _cheating_ may not be the right word, but I discovered that he had an... _arrangement_ with his own heartless, the Seeker of Darkness. So I betrayed him outright with a side affair of my own. Axel saw the opportunity to sabotage us beyond what we ruined ourselves. He leaked my old plan to take Kingdom Hearts for myself. Although I had all but abandoned the notion already, Xemnas had no choice but to take appropriate measures. He left me, just as Lea had.”

Isa took a deep breath, sipped at his cold coffee, and stared at his hands in defeat. “In his hurt, Xemnas punished me by sending me on the same sort of suicide missions that I had once sent Axel. When he saw me suffer, his own budding heart rebelled. He tried to shut it down, to return to becoming an emotionless husk, but it was too late. He loved me and I loved him. Everything that Xemnas held power over was slowly unraveling. Axel's damage had been done. Half of our numbers were murdered by Sora's keyblade. Roxas was gone. Xion was gone. The lifestream was poisoned with darkness. Axel was sabotaging everything he could before he left as well. And Xemnas... he loved when he didn't want to love. He felt when he no longer wanted to feel. So he attempted an experiment on himself that wasn't ready. The research was incomplete, but he believed that he had little left to lose. While he survived his experiment he wasn't...well. Madness poisoned his mind after that. He would lose himself for hours, even days, at a time staring into our false Kingdom Hearts. He would speak to thin air, convinced that he could hear souls. He had never been very adept at taking care of himself, but the madness rendered him practically inept at basic hygiene and self maintenance. He only cared about Kingdom Hearts and not about the warriors of light threatening our lives. He was convinced that he could absorb the power of the heartlight and become strong enough that he could drink the lifestream wholly. I watched him, Terra. I watched him hollow out and become a shell of himself until Sora crashed through the doors of our Castle.”

“And...you couldn't save him, could you?” Terra said.

Isa shook his head forlornly. His shoulders shook. “My soul refused to return to the lifestream after Sora murdered me the first time, so I knew the moment that Xemnas fell. I _felt_ his soul leave his broken body behind. I _felt_ his plan to return, his ploy to absorb darkness into the cracks of his fragmented soul so that he could live again as a fearling, more powerful than before. But I'm an Emissary, Terra. I'm an _Emissary of Protection_. And I stopped him. I took his soul away from the mortal coil and I dragged it into the lifestream, kicking and screaming. I took it with me back to Radiant Garden, and I locked it away. While most souls will eventually be reborn into new human bodies, he won't. Xemnas' soul will never be free of the lifestream, and I damned him to that fate.”

“But you said that he was...happy in the lifestream?”

“But for how long?” Isa let out a dry sob. “He's happy now because he's finally at peace. When he was alive, he was constantly tormented by Xehanort's demons. That's why I helped him. I could put the piece of his soul at ease because, even as a nobody, I was still an Emissary. But for how long will he be happy in the lifestream? Xemnas was brilliant and curious. He had a thirst for knowledge and new experiences that couldn't be quenched. So how long will it be before he resents me for locking him away like a prisoner in heaven. Goddess, I'm so scared. I love him so much and not only did I cause him a final death, but I'm going to be the cause of his greatest pain.”

Isa was shaking so hard that he threatened to spill his coffee all over the bed. Terra took the mug away, noting his own unsteady hands, and set the mug back onto the nightstand. The bluenette finally withdrew his hand from Terra's. He curled his knees to his chest and squeezed the pillow close. The materia rolled around on the bed, humming in sympathy. Terra pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. It was still damp from when he walked near the waterfall, but Isa took it nonetheless.

Terra climbed up on the bed and pulled Isa against him. The former nobody's face screwed up in something like agony before he wrapped his arms tightly around Terra's broad chest. Isa's back shook. Thick, hoarse sobs ripped from his throat and Terra had the feeling that Isa had never spoken about Xemnas to anyone else before. After all, who could he talk to? Isa didn't have any friends in Radiant Garden, and Lea wouldn't have been a good candidate to suffer Isa's grief considering his history with Xemnas. This was probably the first time that Isa had been able to mourn his lost lover in front of another person.

While a part of Terra boiled in jealousy, another part of him was grateful. Terra tightened his arms around Isa as tears fell from his own eyes.

It meant that this was also the first time that Isa could receive comfort for his grief.

The revelation wrenched at Terra's heart and he cried into Isa's hair, both humbled for the opportunity and saddened for his friend's pain.

“I'm so scared. I can't lose you, Terra. I can't lose you, too,” Isa sobbed into his chest, voice muffled against the fabric of his shirt. “I'm going to end up saying something wrong, or doing something horrible. I'm going to end up hurting you. I'm going to do something stupid and I'm going to lose you and I can't stand that, I just can't _stand_ that! You deserve to live! You deserve to be happy! Xemnas wanted you to have a future! I want you to have a future! But you won't have one so long as you're close to me! That's why we can't be together right now, maybe not ever! If I never _have_ you, then I can never _lose_ you.”

“Y-you can't keep thinking that way,” Terra cried. “You c-can't hold yourself back all the time for someone else's sake. It might sound noble to sacrifice your happiness, but it's not. It's stupid. You're so amazing, Isa, and you deserve to be happy, too! Even if you're still an Emissary! Even if you've still got a duty that you never asked for, you deserve happiness!”

“But I _miss him so much_! I want him back! I want to be with him again because _he_ made me happy, but I _can't_! I've tried killing myself since recompleting so that I could return to the lifestream with him, but the lifestream keeps bringing me back! I've slit my wrists! I've impaled myself on Lunatic! I've fired a gunblade at my own head! It's making me live when I don't want to!” Isa wailed. Terra held him tighter, somehow not surprised at the confession. “I want to hate the lifestream, but I _can't_! It uses the scar on my face as an anchor! It's rooted in my soul! It loves me and it _weeps_ for me, even when I curse it to hell!”

Isa's fingers clenched at Terra's shirt, his entire body taut and shuddering. “And then you came along! You like so many of the same things as he did! Black tea with honey and cream! Spicy-sweet candies! Early morning exercise! You called me the same nickname! You kiss like him, you smell like him! But you're NOT him! Xemnas didn't like peanut butter! He only listened to classical music! He hated whiskey and would only drink red dessert wines! He enjoyed ballroom dancing and ordering fancy food and watching live opera shows from expensive box seats! You're both so _different_ but you look so much alike! I don't want to use you as a replacement for Xemnas, but I'm _**so! Fucking! Lonely!**_ ” Isa's body heaved with each desperate enunciation. “There's no way that I could be a healthy partner, especially when we're chasing these demons from his past! You'd be in too much danger, and I can't do it again! I can't lose someone I love again!”

Terra gently shushed Isa through the sobs wracking him, just like how Eraqus had for him on nights fraught with terrifying dreams. He rocked Isa from side to side and stroked his fingers down Isa's rigid, trembling spine. He wiped his own tears against Isa's hair, mixing them in with the lingering salt from their voyage beneath the waterfalls. Although their meeting with the Messengers had only been scant hours ago, Terra felt as if it had happened in a parallel lifetime. Just thinking about the fate of an Emissary made Terra's blood simmer beneath his own regret.

It wasn't fair.

Isa couldn't find peace because the lifestream chose him as an Emissary of Protection. And what could Terra do about it? He only reminded Isa of the one person that he could no longer be with. He reminded Isa of something that he could lose. Shame coaxed more tears from Terra's eyes. He had been so frustrated that Isa wouldn't reciprocate his enthusiasm for a potential relationship that he hadn't thought about how much it must have hurt the former nobody to gaze upon him as if he was a twisted side-show mirror that only reflected a distortion of the truth.

His rage at Xehanort was tangled into his grief. Eraqus lost his life before he could ever see the warriors his dear children could become. Ventus' heart was cleaved in half and he lost years of growth and experience while he slept and the rest of the worlds moved on without him. Aqua lost faith in her strength as the darkness slowly strangled the light from her. Terra lost his innocence to the evil machinations that ripped him to shreds like a thin linen sheet.

But like Isa, Terra had no way to work through his grief. He felt that he didn't have the right to mourn Eraqus in front of Aqua and Ventus because Eraqus was felled by Terra's own blade. They loved Eraqus just as much as Terra did, and he felt that it wasn't fair to them if he cried for his dead father when he was his murderer. He didn't want to mourn for Ventus in front of the young man because Ventus was already struggling to catch up to the people around him. Adding those feelings would pressure the youngest of them to push himself beyond reasonable means to keep helplessness from devouring his heart. He couldn't mourn for Aqua because he was the reason that she was trapped in the dark realm in the first place. She had protected him with the last vestiges of her light and damned herself to a lonely wasteland for a decade.

He couldn't mourn for himself because he was whole again. He had his heart and his soul and his body back. His memories were spotty between his initial possession and when he awoke again in the Keyblade Graveyard, so he didn't even remember the terrible things that Xehanort did firsthand.

But he could mourn in front of Isa. Isa understood loss. He understood the weight of a sorrow so heavy that laying the burden down for awhile could destroy what little stability he fought to maintain. He understood the shame that came with grief created by his own hand. He understood sin.

Terra could never be Xemnas, literally or figuratively. He couldn't fill the hole within Isa's heart, nor was it his place to. That ache was something that Isa would need to mend around on his own. It was no wonder that he hadn't wanted to tell Terra about his journey as an Emissary. Not only was such a fate inundated with trial, but with heartache and abject terror as well. Although Isa admitted to his past mistakes, he still clearly felt as everything good in his life was ripped away because of the lifestream. As Isa had stated before, he hadn't wanted Terra to suffer the same fate.

Not only could Isa not stand the thought of losing Terra, but he couldn't stand for Terra losing himself, either.

The revelation made Terra's throat catch on a particularly heavy breath.

Isa cared for him.

Perhaps it wasn't the same feeling that Terra already developed for him, but it was still strong. It was still a type of love, be it the kind of love peppered with romantic kisses or the kind that would make Isa throw himself into danger in a distant graveyard so that Terra wouldn't die alone and afraid.

Isa loved him.

“You won't lose me...” Terra whispered into damp, blue locks. “You won't lose me, and I won't lose you. I promise. We'll survive together. We'll heal together. We'll mourn together.”

Isa's loud sobs renewed with vigor. Terra curled against the headboard, dragging the bluenette's weight against him, and absorbed the emotion slamming into him like roiling ocean waves against a cliff. And Terra reciprocated the embrace. He clung to Isa as if he were the only thing keeping him afloat in a stormy sea. Together, they mourned. They mourned their losses and their pasts. They mourned that their present situation, haunted by fearlings and suffering with a shattered soul. They mourned an uncertain future that had every potential to fall apart before it even began.

Eventually, Isa's sobs slowed as he drifted between the waking and dreaming worlds. Terra absently pet Isa's hair, unintentionally smearing snot and tears through it. They heard the customers downstairs rushing in for lunch and then out again to seize the day before it was swallowed by night.

“I'm...sorry,” Isa finally whispered, hoarse and stuffy. “You asked what it was to be an Emissary and I just dumped everything onto you.”

“I think you needed to say those things. You needed the release,” Terra choked on the thick mucus still running down his throat.

Isa hummed, coughed, and nodded weakly. “I think so, too. But regardless, I'm sorry. Did I...hurt you?”

Terra glanced down at the bluenette. Isa looked up at him with puffy, bloodshot eyes. His lips were swollen and his nose was bright red.

“I'm hurt but...I'm hurting _for_ you, I think.”

Isa nodded and leaned against Terra's wet shirt again. “Thank you. I don't...I don't know if someone has been sad on my behalf in a long time.”

Terra's gently squeezed Isa with his tired arms. “Thank you, too. I was...I also mourned for other things. I hope that doesn't sound too selfish...”

“Not at all,” Isa snuggled against him, hands curled against his chest, and Terra was instantly reminded of a cold puppy. “I think you needed it, too.”

Terra made a noise of agreement. “Is that why you keep secrets? Because they hurt so much?”

“Yes. No. Maybe...” Isa sighed. “No matter what, the truth hurts.”

“You have more secrets you're keeping from me, don't you?”

“Yes,” Terra might have imagined it, but he could've sworn that Isa hesitated. The bluenette continued. “But...I will tell you, just not yet. I'm too afraid of hurting you. Please let me keep them for a little while longer. I promise that I'll tell you when the time is right, when keeping the secrets will finally hurt you more than revealing them.”

“That's a tall order...”

“Will you trust me?” Isa pressed the flat of his palm over Terra's heart.

What could Terra say to that? His instinct to appease wrestled with the recent feelings of betrayal.

“...Yes,” Terra hesitantly agreed. He rubbed Isa's back. “But remember, we agreed not to hide our hurt from one another. So please don't be upset when I'm frustrated with the secrets. I hate them because they make me so angry and scared. I'm afraid that they'll...cause more loss. But I'll respect you and yours.”

“Then...when you truly cannot stand it when you believe I'm withholding information from you, let me know. I promise that I'll do everything I can to be truthful. You deserve the truth, Terra, even when I still want to protect you from it.”

Terra shifted and pulled his numb arm from underneath Isa's torso. He pressed his hand against the bluenette's heart as well, feeling the steady flutter beneath his palm. “I promise.”

They laid like that a moment longer, bloodshot eyes lingering shyly at each other. Finally, Isa made a face.

“Perhaps we should clean up. I'm certain that I've leaked an entire gallon of snot on you by now,” he admitted sheepishly. “If it dries, it will probably feel like a gross paper bag.”

Terra laughed, surprising them both. Now that Isa's hair was finally drying, he was certain that it would be unnaturally stiff as well.

“Alright, I'll go first. Will you be here when I return?” Terra asked. Moving finally sounded appealing, as did a trip to the kitchen for food.

“Always,” Isa said.

The former nobody, scarred and raw, pressed his forehead to Terra's.

Terra smiled a moment longer, relishing the moment. Reluctantly, he pulled away and walked out of the room. His view of the world had changed, somehow. It was as if he could see new colors that he hadn't before, as if everything was vibrant again like it had been when he was a child.

He finally let himself mourn.

“Did you see that, Eraqus?” Terra asked the bathroom beneath with the hiss of the shower spray. “I did it. I finally cried for you without feeling guilty. Are you proud of me?”

Terra knew that he wouldn't actually receive an answer, but it felt nice to imagine it all the same. He usually only stole brief quiet moments to talk to himself like this, and even then, they usually made him burn with guilt and un-shed grief. This was different though. This felt warm and inviting, just like the new colors that seemed to bloom in his vision.

“Yeah, I know it's been a few years now, but I just couldn't make myself do it before, not at home. And now I did. I know, I know, it's thanks to Isa,” Terra sighed and pressed the back of his head against the tile. “Dad, I think I love him. Is that wrong of me?”

Silence, but comfortable instead of oppressing.

Terra laughed. “I know that I can't be with him just yet. You always did chastise me for my impatience. But I can wait until we're both ready. Isa is worth it.”

Although Terra may have had doubts about his feelings before, he liked to think he understood them more. He loved Isa. Maybe it was spurred Xemnas' old memories, maybe it was the hope of creating new ones with him, but he was confident about it now. His heart yearned to be with the stoic bluenette as if they were missing pieces of the same puzzle. The butterflies in his stomach no longer felt as if they were struggling to break free in a bid to escape, but rather to mingle instead with their other halves within Isa.

Terra sighed wistfully, like a lovestruck teen. “I know that he's not perfect. He makes mistakes. He's hurt a lot of people and he's been hurt as well. He has secrets that scare me. But I want to share his fears and his hopes and his dreams. I want to share his burden. I want to watch him heal. I want to _help_ him heal. Can you support me, Dad? Are you happy for me?”

He imagined that Eraqus would gently rib him.

“I promise that I'll invite him over soon, for a proper dinner with the family. He's already met Ven and Aqua and Nami. Nami is still uncertain about him, but the others like him. That's always one of the hardest parts, right? Trying to get your siblings to like the person you love?”

Terra chuckled again and scrubbed shampoo through his hair. “Yeah, I know. So long as I love Isa, then you'll love him, too. That's what part of what makes you a great dad. You always know exactly what to say.”

When Terra closed his eyes to rinse under the warm spray, he liked to think that Eraqus was smiling from somewhere beyond Kingdom Hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor Trigger Warning:  
> Mentions of attempted suicide
> 
> Warnings aside, we hope that the backstory-vomit wasn't too much! It's actually built off of a XemSai KH fic that Crim was writing aaaaggees ago before the website he was posting it on went down. Dunno if anyone around here would remember it. It was called 'Hereafter'.


	16. Animarum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, things are nuts right now. Stay safe!

While Isa was cleaning up, Terra called Lea on the gummiphone.

_“Fuck man, it's like, 3 in the morning,”_ Lea complained. _“Is something wrong with Isa?”_

Terra winced. He hadn't thought of the time differences between the worlds. “Sorry, Lea. I just...everything is fine, but I just had some questions I needed to ask. Can I, uh, call back later?”

_“...It's got to do with Isa, doesn't it?”_ Lea sighed and Terra heard him shuffle around. _“Alright, I'm gonna step outside for a smoke. The kids are home from school for the weekend and I don't wanna wake 'em.”_

A surge of gratitude curled in Terra's heart. He hadn't interacted much with Lea, but he knew that the redhead had more information than anyone else on Isa's past. The moment that Lea was ready, Terra launched into the fastest summary he could manage. Although Isa took notoriously long showers, he still didn't want to push his luck before his friend returned.

“So...I guess...I don't really know what to think...?” Terra said.

Lea was quiet for a moment. If not for the puff of a cigarette, then Terra would've assumed that the had hung up.

_“Well...you're not wrong. But he's not either. Listen, we were both...Isa and I...we weren't uh, good for each other,”_ Lea admitted with some difficulty. _“I was a fucking liar. I lied about everything, even before we lost our hearts. I lied about loving Isa and shit and then I dumped him 'cause he knew something was up. He got clingy and I couldn't handle it 'cause I knew he'd see through my bullshit. Then, I lied about knowing that something was off. After I lost my heart, lying got easier. So I lied more. And more. And...well, fuck, you can figure out how that ended, right?” ___

____

____

Terra nodded. Even though Lea couldn't see the gesture, he understood it nonetheless. 

_“So...yeah. I told him that it was fine for me to go on those fucking missions that had me sleeping around. I even did it when he didn't order me to. I thought it would...I dunno, like it should make me feel again. And it didn't. So I blamed Isa. Goddamn, I even broke his heart. And not like, in a sappy sense. I literally broke his fucking disembodied heart and threw it to the heartless. And then I'd get him in trouble on purpose. I wrote bullshit in my mission reports so that he'd get punished when the information he reported was faulty. I'd blackmail him. I'd set him up for failure. We were the same, you know. The fucking same. We just came out on different ends of the battle because he got horny for a sociopath and I adopted some kids that needed some stability after being abused.”_

“Oh...” was all that Terra could say. “So... uh, why are you both still friends?” 

Lea scoffed on the other side and Terra heard the wheel of his lighter again. The redhead had started on another cigarette. 

_“Because I'm a dick, got it memorized?”_ he started. _“Isa wasn't the only selfish one. I am, too. I didn't wanna let him go, so I suggested that we try to still be friends. And well, I guess it's working? It's still hard, don't get me wrong. I still want to lie to him all the time and when I start thinking of all the bullshit he's done to me over the years, I just wanna take revenge all over again. But, uh, I'm trying not to waste the chances that Rox and Xion have given me. They think the best of me, even through all the shit that I've put them through. They think I can be a better person, so I guess I've gotta 'cause I can't let them down. Those kids need examples of how to change for the better. I never thought that example could be me, but well...I wanna be someone that they can be proud of.”_

Lea's stories lined up with Isa's, but it was a startling new perspective. Lea was retelling his crimes as if he was the only one at fault, just has Isa had blamed himself, too. Terra didn't know where the truth lay, but he assumed that it was somewhere in between. 

Because that's where all truth resided. 

Terra breathed deep. Lea was telling him something, but he couldn't hear it, especially when he blurted out the first thought on his mind. 

“I love Isa.” 

The redhead immediately fell silent and took another few puffs of his cigarette. He inhaled deeply, as if trying to lock the smoke in his lungs, and then shouted. 

_“WHAT!?!”_

Terra held the phone away from his ear. Lea cursed and choked on the smoke in his lungs. 

_“What the fuck, dude? Are you sure?”_ Lea was incredulous. 

“Yes,” Terra wheezed quietly. “I love him. And I uh, I don't know how to reconcile that with everything...else?” 

_“...I'd say get the hell out while you can, man. Isa's got issues that you're not ready to handle. Besides, I'm pretty sure that he's still crying over his dead fucktoy,”_ Lea scoffed. 

“Don't say that!” Terra snapped. “He's mourning.” 

_“Yeah, sure okay, well I don't know why he'd mourn a bastard who literally plotted his death, but what the hell do I know, I'm just the asshole friend. Anyways, I don't know if I actually helped you at all, but I think I woke the kids up and I don't want them to come out here with keyblades blazing. If Isa's gonna jump off the deep end, go ahead and give me a call again. I'm not certain what his big picture is, but I'm pretty sure that it's got nothing to do with loving you in return and everything to do with some secret shit.”_

That made Terra freeze up. “Uh..okay? Then bye, and uh, my apologies to Roxas and Xion for waking them. And uh, thanks for talking.” 

_“Yeah, anytime, except for like...3am, dude. Got it memorized?”_

They ended the call and Terra didn't know if he felt better or worse. 

Isa had an ulterior motive? What could it be? No, that had to be one of Lea's lies. If Isa had another goal besides helping to eradicate the fearlings, then he certainly would've told Terra. 

After all, that's what friends were for. 

Before the sun set that day, a critical broadcast erupted over the radio. It repeated at the top of every hour, and Isa and Terra could hear radios all over town tuning in again and again. Every hour, the same announcement played, and every hour, cheers echoed from civilians in Altissia. 

_“Breaking news from Accordo!”_ Terra smiled at the people crowded around a radio on the sidewalk. It had already been playing for the last solid day, so the citizens had already likely heard the broadcast. Clearly, they didn't mind the re-run announcement. 

_“First Secretary, Camelia Claustra spoke at a press conference earlier, announcing that Lady Lunafreya is currently in the custody of Altissian officials.”_

An elderly couple near the shop stand embraced each other tightly with tears in their eyes. A mother scooped her small son and kissed his pink cheeks until he pushed her away with pudgy hands. 

_“I can confirm we have Lady Lunafreya in our care,”_ First Secretary Claustra's calm voice echoed from the speaker. _“The people of Accordo, saddened by the rumors of the Oracle's passing, can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Though she is weary from her trials, I am happy to report she is well.”_

Celebratory shouts and clapping erupted from the civilians as their hope was renewed yet again. _“Citing safety concerns during the Lucian peace talks, Secretary Claustra stressed the need for pragmatism in negotiating the Oracle's repatriation.”_

“Look at them all,” Terra sighed. Although he was still uneasy, he found new strength within his heart every time the civilians cried with joy. “They're so relieved that Lady Lunafreya is alive.” 

Isa couldn't help the small smile twitching on the corner of his own lip. “Then I look forward to keeping it that way.” 

“So you're intent on helping her now on the, you know, official Emissary business?” Terra asked as they walked. 

Isa nodded. “Yes. While I don't have a pact with the gods of this world, they may still recognize my connection to the lifestream. I doubt that I'll be able to convince them to ally with Prince Noctis in the same capacity that Lady Lunafreya can, but I can at least attempt to support her soul with my own power.” 

“What changed your mind?” 

Isa shrugged and glanced away, almost sheepishly if Terra could imagine as such. Even though the bluenette didn't answer aloud, Terra had a feeling of what changed his mind. He nudged Isa in the shoulder, earning him a minor glare of amusement instead of offense. 

“I'm glad,” Terra said. “I look forward to helping you and everyone else on this world.” 

As they walked, they overheard the newscaster continue his broadcast after the hourly announcement. _“On that joyous note, reports have surfaced suggesting that the 'dead' may indeed walk among us. Crown Prince Noctis was believed to have perished in the terrorist attack on the Citadel. There have, however, been reports that the prince had departed the Crown City ahead of time and was not present on the day of ceremony. Moreover, eyewitness accounts of the prince riding in the late king's car in Lucis have fueled hope for the anti-imperial factions. You know what that means, folks! If my previous theory about the atmospheric anomaly over Lucis holds any water, that means our friend the thunder god has probably taken a nap and the Hydraean will probably be next to awaken under Prince Noctis' care!”_

“Do you think people are afraid of Leviathan?” Terra asked Isa. 

__“Definitely.”_ _

__“Then do you think that the Accursed is going to use that opportunity to make his fearlings stronger?”_ _

__“There's no doubt in my mind that he's going to feed from the chaos he invokes. Honestly, I'm surprised it's taking as long as this is to spread terror throughout the world. I think that the Accursed may have an ulterior motive and the fearlings are just a means to an end for him,” Isa theorized._ _

__“What makes you say that?”_ _

__“Because if I was using a soul shard that was bonded to the lifestream, I would've already plunged this helpless, infected world into darkness before Prince Noctis or Lady Lunafreya could awaken and ally with the gods. Doing so, even under an artificial darkness, would strengthen the fearling to the point where it could easily devour the lifestream, gods included, and feed upon every spark of light in this world.”_ _

__Terra wrinkled his nose at Isa's deadpan delivery. “That's...that's pretty rough...”_ _

__“Yes, but also entirely plausible. So we have to ask the real question—why is the Accursed biding his time?” Isa worried his lip piercing as he considered his own question._ _

__“Do you think we could ask Lunafreya's brother? He's the High Commander and he already gave her intel. Maybe he could help us out so we can help him?” Terra suggested._ _

__“That would require finding him first, surviving whatever encounter we would have him second, earning an audience third, and finally convincing him that we're trustworthy enough to receive information fourth,” Isa said._ _

__“Yeah, and we haven't even managed step one, have we,” Terra bemoaned. Isa had been in contact with Weskham's informants for weeks now, but no one could pinpoint where the High Commander was going to be next. The man moved like a wraith around Altissia. “Do you think we could use the tracker that Lady Lunafreya lent us?”_ _

__Isa shrugged. “Possibly. Although I suspect that Commander Ravus wields darkness since his newly acquired prosthetic arm is created from magitek—the same technology that powers the Empire's military troops—I'm not certain that the tracker will target him specifically.”_ _

__“But Lady Lunafreya said that she used it to lead her to people infected by darkness. Wouldn't that count?”_ _

__“Being infected by darkness is not necessarily the same as wielding it. An infection implies a lack of control, a chaos that the tracker can latch onto. But wielding it is...different. It doesn't offer as many errant spikes of power, and thus would be harder to track unless the wielder was actively utilizing it at the same time.”_ _

__“Oh. Then how are you going to use it to find the Accursed anyways?”_ _

__“If it has the Oracle and the Messengers worried, then the Accursed is likely much stronger than Ravus could ever hope to be. The sheer volume of darkness pouring off of him would serve as the beacon. First, however, we should acquaint ourselves with the tracker.”_ _

__“Then do you think we can use it for our hunts? I really want to help more civilians!”_ _

__“And since we're planning to start staying in the Leville hotel, then extra the bounties could help our pockets as well,” Isa nodded. “We'll use the tracker tonight.”_ _

__During their adventures through space, they had yet to visit one of Saïx's old bank accounts. On top of that, the hotels in Altissia were notoriously expensive. While they had some gil saved from the hunts, keeping their supply of ethers and boosting potions afloat _and_ keeping a roof over their heads was going to require some monetary juggling._ _

__Over the next two weeks, Terra and Isa hunted fearlings throughout the city. Even by day, they had garnered a reputation as reliable hunters and more people asked them to assist civilians after night fell. Sometimes, they had to ferry medicine across the city in the dead of night for a sick child. Sometimes, they helped Antonio and his gondolier brotherhood travel through the canals and replace worn out enchantments and weakened runes that kept the darkness at bay. Sometimes, they would walk with people who accidentally stayed out later than they meant to, especially since the sun was beginning to set earlier and earlier by the day. It had caught many people off guard, including Isa and Terra._ _

__They became more proficient using the tracker as well. Isa was able to begin tracking from longer distances. They spent many evenings flying over the ocean aboard Terra's keyblade glider to try and follow the Accursed's power signature. Yet every time they thought that they had a lead, the beacon would lose signal again. It almost felt as if the Accused was playing with them by jumping through dark corridors around the world._ _

__At least traveling by glider was also encouraging Isa to don his keyblade armor again._ _

__Since it had shattered while he was last wearing it, the armor took some time to rebuild strength, like all tools of light. Thankfully, damage was common. When an armor of light was deactivated, the power slept within the summoning shield on their arms. During this phase, the armor could self-repair by utilizing the wielder's ambient light. While it could also rebuild itself entirely, such a feat took time. After nearly six weeks in Altissia, Isa was able to finally summon it again._ _

__Having his armor didn't stop him from squeezing Terra's waist so tightly that breathing was harder than it ought to be as they zipped around on the glider. Terra wanted to claim that he wouldn't let Isa fall, but he already knew that he had failed him once before._ _

__Isa had explained that he was terrified of falling because it reminded him of drowning. When he had been caught in the riptide as a teenager, up and down had no meaning. The waves had dragged him of their own volition, much as gravity would do to Isa should he fall. While he trusted Terra to drive safely, it didn't stop that animal terror that made him whimper quietly against Terra's back._ _

__Acknowledging that, despite Terra's best efforts, Isa _could_ fall helped him fly in a manner more appealing to Isa. During their flights, Terra tried to keep idle conversation with his friend, even if Isa never responded beyond strangled wheezes. Sometimes, he could even feel the bluenette relax by increments against him as they drove over the water at a high enough altitude that Isa would have the chance to cast a spell to catch himself before he hit the waves. There were even a few times that he could feel Isa's helm moving against his back, looking around and finally drinking in the sunlight dancing across the water on the horizon._ _

__Selfishly, Terra wanted to fly Isa around more. He wanted to indulge in the warmth huddled against his back, to feel needed and strong. Not only did it stroke his ego, but it also provided him fuel to stroke something else in the privacy of the shower. Thank the gods that Isa was a deep sleeper and definitely _not_ a morning person. The largest room that they could afford to rent also happened to be the smallest room that the Leville hotel offered. A single, queen-sized bed looked large enough in theory, but Terra often woke with a very stiff problem tenting between his thighs and suddenly, he couldn't scramble far enough away from the inviting heat of Isa's backside. Whenever his day began with a wood, he would lock himself in the thankfully spacious bathroom and do handstand push-ups until his blood flowed away from the offending organ. When he followed it up with his standard morning jog, then Isa was none the wiser. Heck, Isa never even woke up until after Terra showered and either heated an instant breakfast for them or else fetched food and coffee from the shop down the block._ _

__But at least Terra had actually been sleeping lately. Although he still had moments of unease, especially when he was alone, the dark fear plaguing him seemed to abate at night. Terra didn't want to admit that sleeping in the same bed as Isa was a part of it, but it probably was akin to how he'd curl up with Eraqus on stormy nights or when he'd snuggle with Aqua to keep the nightmares at bay even after Xehanort's defeat. He also cradled his barrier materia close to his chest at night as if it were a stuffed animal. Even though Terra felt absolutely ridiculous, he couldn't bring himself to upgrade the room or to sleep on the floor with his camping gear. He genuinely enjoyed sleeping next to Isa with his materia in his arms. The awkward mornings were worth feeling safe throughout the night, and his stomach got fluttery when he knew Isa just laying just mere inches away from him, completely at ease._ _

__Yet Lea's warning stood in the back of his mind._ _

__Isa could still be planning something._ _

__The new moon waxed to full again and the two warriors took their materia and their Animarum to the same staircase that they met Lady Gentiana on a month before._ _

__“Will this really work?” Terra dared to ask. Although Aqua had tested the Animarum extensively before finalizing the prototype, Terra hadn't thought to ask what he was supposed to do._ _

__“Yes. If Aerith approved, then it will work,” Isa said._ _

__“Is Aerith an Emissary, too?”_ _

__Isa nodded. “She's also an Emissary of Protection, although her bond to the lifestream is stronger than my own by virtue that she wasn't without a heart for a decade. I haven't asked details, but I know that she's already paid her price.”_ _

__Some part of Terra's heart lurched. Although he had only spoken to Aerith on a handful of occasions, she was put in an entirely new perspective now. Like Isa, she had died. Like Isa, she had returned from the lifestream. How many other people were Emissaries? How many had suffered enough to make the deal?_ _

__Terra startled as Isa set his hand firmly on his shoulder. The bluenette smiled at him and Terra's heart fluttered, angst momentarily forgotten. He had to bite his tongue to keep from blurting out how beautiful Isa was in the pale moonlight. Even though his eyes were no longer teal, they still sparkled like silver._ _

__Isa piled all of their materia into one of his wide brimmed hats and set them on the top of the steps. He gently, reverently, placed their Animarum on either side and began drawing intricate patterns around them with a small nub of chalk._ _

__“What are those for?” Terra squatted close enough to see, but still far enough away to avoid smudging the delicate lines. A few of them almost looked familiar, but Terra couldn't guess where he'd seen them before._ _

__“Hm, they're runes linked together into a spell,” Isa absently hummed._ _

__“Are they kind of like the drawings you did when you fixed that one materia back in Radiant Garden?”_ _

__“Yes and no. These ones,” Isa motioned to a set of circles and lines, “are for strengthening communication along a tether of light. I used a variation of that on the barrier materia you mentioned. This rune, however, is for protecting the light tether. This one is to ask the light for protection. This one functions as a one-way link, so that I'll be able to push light energy through the spell but the materia and souls won't inadvertently backtrack to me instead of going into the lifestream. Since this spell requires the use of the three major elements; water, fire, and earth, I'm also using a special chalk. This chalk represents earth, but it's also flammable, which will incorporate fire. We're already surrounded by water, so that element is inherently accounted for.”_ _

__“Wow,” Terra whistled. “How did you learn all of this?”_ _

__“By years of studying witchcraft and magic, but some of it did inherently come with the position as an Emissary,” Isa chuckled. “I knew more than the basics before I died, but the lifestream filled in the rest of the blanks and also bolstered my knowledge.”_ _

__“Are you _sure_ that you didn't transform that bully into a frog for real when you were a kid?” Terra gently ribbed. Isa chuckled again and shrugged._ _

__“Who knows? Maybe I did.”_ _

__Once the runes were complete upon the ground, Isa knelt, barefoot, behind his makeshift altar and waited for midnight. Terra sat beside him, close enough to feel his body warmth but not yet touching shoulders. The companionable silence and the gentle sea breeze lulled Terra into a light doze. It was only when he felt the air _shift_ around him that he peeled his eyes open._ _

__He glanced at Isa's peaceful expression and then at the water. The familiar teal tendrils floated out of the water and caressed the bundle of materia in Isa's hat. They filled the hat with a thick light and the materia glowed with joy and comfort._ _

__Terra stood up and summoned his keyblade. It vibrated eagerly in his grasp. Isa nodded to him and placed his hands before the runes on the ground._ _

__“When the light reaches the Animarum, then the connection to the lifestream should be complete. Once the connection is made, then unlock the Animarum. The souls will use the light tethers to find their way. Even if I can't connect to the lifestream on my own, I can at least facilitate this,” Isa murmured forlornly._ _

__Terra prepared himself. Bright teal light glowed at the tips of Isa's fingers as if he was about to summon his claymore. Instead, however, that light traveled through the chalk runes on the ground. Isa whispered something under his breath, and the chalk lines caught fire like a fuse on a bomb. The sparks and flames were bright blue, just like the life magic that Isa had used when he sparred Aqua._ _

__When the light reached the Animarum, the boxes trembled as if they were vibrating from within._ _

__“The connection is made,” Isa whispered._ _

__Terra focused his light inward and towards his keyblade. As if by rote, he channeled his heart's light to open the Animarum. A golden keyhole appeared on the surface and bright orbs of light began drifting out._ _

__“Those are the souls,” Terra said, completely enraptured. Although he had grown accustomed to seeing them via the enchantments on his keyblade, it was different to see them like this. They sparkled in different colors, like a rainbow, and they drifted lazily between the weaving tendrils of lifestream light. Once they touched a tendril, they seemed to stick to it and began flowing and dancing through the air as one._ _

__Isa sat back, tears in his eyes, as he watched the souls merge into the lifestream._ _

__“They're going home,” Isa said._ _

__Terra nodded, his throat too tight to speak properly. He reached out towards the light and the souls wrapped around him briefly, as if giving him a hug. He felt their love and their gratitude resonate within his heart and a sob hitched in his chest._ _

__“You're welcome,” he murmured to them._ _

__After another moment, the souls flowed into the water and sank below the surface. Terra leaned over the edge of the retaining wall, watching until their light sank so deep that he could no longer see them._ _

__“Goodbye,” he waved to the depths. His heart was heavy to see them leave, but at the same time, he felt oddly elated. The warmth from the lifestream's proximity also suffused within his heart and soul, making him feel lighter than he had in the past month._ _

__Terra watched Isa interact with it as well._ _

__The bluenette still knelt before his altar while the lifestream danced around him. It caressed his cheek like a mother to her child and coaxed him to his feet._ _

__“Alright, alright,” Isa chuckled weakly. “I'll try...”_ _

__Terra watched as Isa walked down the stairs. The water parted for him by the lifestream's bidding, as if it was trying to make him feel more comfortable. Isa reached out and caressed the teal lifestream, and it wrapped around his hand as if to cradle it gently. Together, they danced._ _

__Isa's movements were nothing like what Terra witnessed on the night in Radiant Garden, but it wasn't for lack of trying. His footsteps were stilted and his rhythm seemed off somehow. Still, the lifestream guided him by his hand like a partner at a ball. Isa splashed unceremoniously into the water on more than one occasion and his brow furrowed in frustration. His lips twisted into a pout and his shoulders slumped in defeat._ _

__It was too difficult to watch Isa fall into despair._ _

__Terra quickly removed his own boots and rolled his pants up to his knees. He didn't know how to talk to the lifestream like Isa did, but he still wanted to help. With a silent inquiry, Terra gently grasped Isa's outstretched hand and placed the other on his friend's waist. Isa's eyes widened comically, but he didn't pull away. The lifestream weaved around both of their hands, content to lead them both._ _

__Terra danced with Isa._ _

__Their footing still was shaky, but the lifestream buoyed them from the staircase until it felt as if they were walking on top of the water._ _

__“I-I didn't know that you could dance...” Isa murmured, a bright blush streaking across his pale cheeks. He finally settled his spare hand on Terra's shoulder and relaxed minutely. The lifestream gave their clasped hands a reassuring squeeze._ _

__“A keyblade master must know many things,” Terra grinned. He never thought that the dancing lessons Eraqus forced upon him would come in handy until now. Although he didn't remember much beyond the standard closed frame and box step, it seemed that Isa was content to follow nonetheless. A part of him was also ruthlessly pleased that he could surprise Isa with this. Xemnas hadn't been the only partner to dance with Isa._ _

__“Hm, and dancing is one of those crucial skills?” Isa quietly teased._ _

__Terra didn't know if it was the lifestream's influence or just the sheer proximity to Isa, but his heart filled with pure love and joy. His own face heated as he glanced into Isa's silver eyes and watched the bluenette absently nibble on his piercing as he tried to find Terra's rhythm._ _

__“Not the only one,” Terra chuckled, reluctantly pulling his attention from Isa's moonlit face. “I'm also adept at underwater basket weaving.”_ _

__Isa snorted. Terra spun him, much to the bluenette's surprise, and easily pulled him close again._ _

__The former nobody lifted his face, lips sinfully close to Terra's. Their chests were pressed tightly together and Terra was positive that Isa could feel his heartbeat through his ribs. The keyblade wielder gulped audibly and his feet stumbled over themselves. He nearly tripped Isa and the lifestream stabilized them enough to keep them from tumbling into the quiet waves._ _

__“A-are you sorry?!” Terra blustered. “Erm, uh, I mean, are I okay? Crap, I'm sorry! Are you okay?”_ _

__Isa laughed and Terra found his cheeks redden with humiliation._ _

__“I'm fine,” Isa held onto Terra's shoulder for support. “Did I step on your foot?”_ _

__“Yeah, but it's okay. I've got two of them,” Terra let himself smile widely, embarrassment abating._ _

__The lifestream weaved around them, bringing them closer together, and Terra couldn't help but feel as if he was caught in some sort of cosmic matchmaking game. He gently stroked through Isa's soft blue hair, and only withdrew his hand at the sorrow that flashed across Isa's face._ _

__With a sigh, Terra pulled himself back. “Sorry, for real this time. I-I didn't mean to get too close.”_ _

__Isa finally released Terra's hand. The lifestream lowered them back to the top of the staircase._ _

__“Thank you for dancing with me,” the bluenette didn't acknowledge Terra's apology. “It's reassuring to know that, even if I can't feel the lifestream, it can still interact with me. And even though you're not an Emissary, it's very fond of you.”_ _

__“Yeah, I guess that is a pretty good thing. So you still can't hear it even when it's this close, right?” Terra asked._ _

__Isa sighed. “It's all static. As ridiculous as it may seem, I really miss conversing with it.”_ _

__The bluenette held his hand out to the lifestream's light. The tendrils wrapped up his arm and stroked under Isa's chin before retreating to the water again. While the lifestream would remain active for awhile yet, it was quieter now that midnight had passed._ _

__Reluctantly, both men put their socks and boots back on and gathered their materia. Terra still had the inexplicable urge to ask Isa why he was wearing a hat at night, but his attention was pulled away by the distant clang of metal against metal._ _

__Both of them turned towards the sound and strained their ears. They heard it again._ _

__“Someone's fighting,” Terra whispered. While fearling attacks were supposedly uncommon during the full moon, they weren't unheard of. He closed his eyes to focus on the sound. The noise bounced and echoed through the canals and walkways in a complex matrix. Following the sound alone would take too long._ _

__Isa pulled the tracking pendant from his pocket pouch and funneled his light towards the blue flower. It glowed and began swinging towards the commotion._ _

__“This way,” Isa led them._ _

__Thankfully, the fearling was nearby and it appeared that a group of four hunters were already engaging it. Terra didn't recognize them, but they seemed to be holding their own fairly well._ _

__“Should we help?” he asked Isa. It was hard to see the fearling they were fighting through the clashing weapons and rolling bodies. Finally, the group dodged simultaneously as a Master Tonberry fearling tried to stab them with a deadly enchanted chef's knife._ _

__“Yes, we're helping them now,” Isa said._ _

__The Master Tonberry was a bipedal, blue-skinned lizard dressed in black and red robes. Its vacant, walleyed stare almost made the fearling seem harmless. The lantern and chef knife that he held in either hand didn't exactly strike fear in people's hearts either. However, the monster was deceptively strong. It struck out again in a flurry of slashes._ _

__While Terra and Isa had defeated a few of those fearlings before, he knew from experience that they were not to be taken lightly. They had insanely high offense concentrated in their simple knife and their defense was enviably strong. Master Tonberries were so tough that their battles sometimes lasted until the wee hours of the morning._ _

__“Reflega!” Isa cast around the deceptively small fearling. Its knife dug into the barrier, effectively trapping it momentarily. The little lizard wrenched its knife back and prodded at the barrier curiously with the tip of the blade. A secondary set of lids slid over the thing's bulbous, yellow eyes as it blinked._ _

__“Who the hell are you?” one of the hunters, a blond man with guns, asked._ _

__“Hunters, like yourselves,” Isa grunted. “Do you have a tactic?”_ _

__Another man with dual knives adjusted his glasses. “There's a brief moment for counterattack after we parry. Hitting it any other time doesn't seem to have much effect.”_ _

__“Can any of you cast magic? It's weak against ice,” Terra added._ _

__The Master Tonberry seemed annoyed by the barrier and it began to cut at it savagely._ _

__“Any other tips?” The hunter with a shortsword and black hair asked._ _

__“Larger swords are more likely to break through its defense,” Isa added._ _

__The tallest hunter, a scarred man with a massive greatsword, grinned. “Nice.”_ _

__“Here it comes!” the gunman exclaimed and backed up to give his comrades more space to fight the monster._ _

__The barrier shattered into tiny crystalline fragments that tinkled to the ground like shards of glass._ _

__“Enhancement: Frostboost!” the bespectacled man exclaimed. Ice magic wrapped tightly around the other hunter's shortsword._ _

__“Thanks, Ignis!” the black haired man threw his blade at the fearling like a spear and teleported to it just as the blade nearly hit its mark. Blade in hand, he slashed at the Tonberry. Meanwhile, Terra and the large hunter tried to close in behind the daemon. Although their weapons hit, the fearling was unfazed._ _

__Meanwhile, Isa stood closer to the gunman. “Cover me while I gather my mana,” he insisted._ _

__The gunman scoffed and cursed about pushy people, but did as he was asked._ _

__When the Master Tonberry slashed at the hunters again, they retreated once more to avoid the deadly strikes._ _

__Isa spotted his opportunity. “Blizzaza!” he cast. The spell thundered in the small area._ _

__The air crystallized and Terra felt as if his lungs were freezing with every breath puffed from between his lips. His eyelashes and the tips of his hair froze. His eyes stung as if tiny daggers were dragging across his cornea. Frost crept from the nearby canal and flooded over to the Tonberry. The fearling's movements slowed as its dark flesh sprouted small snowflake patterns and ice began encasing the monster from the ground up._ _

__Before the fearling was fully frozen, Isa followed up with a summon._ _

__“Minotaur! Sacred!” Isa called. Light sparked from his chest. The canal bubbled nearby, still lit by the lifestream's magic. The ground rumbled and a boulder slowly rose from the depths._ _

__Terra smirked at Isa and stood back from the Tonberry. The other hunters followed suit. The summon, an indigo minotaur with wicked red horns, hurled the boulder atop their enemy. The largest hunter took a defensive stance, but Terra held up his hand to stop him from attacking._ _

__“That's a good guy,” Terra said. The large man scowled, but didn't follow through with his attack._ _

__Minotaur and his younger brother, a tiny, similarly colored spirit named Sacred, leaped out of the canal and stood in front of Isa to protect him. Isa panted, clearly worn from summoning two earth gods back to back against grand magic. He doubled over, hands braced on his knees, and fumbled for an ether in his pocket pack._ _

__Meanwhile, the boulder atop the fearling trembled._ _

__“Are you kidding me?” the gunman exclaimed. “All that and the thing is still kicking!?”_ _

__Sure enough, the Master Tonberry broke through the boulder with the tip of its knife. Darkness was peeling at its edges as the monster was fading from existence. Black ash floated through the air and the stench of rotting carcasses struck the hunters. It launched a fire blast from its lantern. Hot will-o-the-wisps honed in on the hunters. Sacred and Minotaur protected the exhausted Isa and the hunter gunman shot at the other fireballs as they neared his friends._ _

__Terra and the black haired hunter both charged the Tonberry simultaneously from either side. They speared through it, each of their blades missing each other in a calculated strike. The Master Tonberry trembled and it's eyes bulged out of its head. It dropped its knife, fingers grasping at the air in the throes of death._ _

__Terra and the other hunter pulled back. The Master Tonberry slumped to the ground. Its robes deflated before crumbling to ash._ _

__The air stilled. Minotaur and Sacred disappeared in a flash of light and the ice covering the sidewalk melted back into the canal. Terra shivered against the lingering cold against his sweat and rushed to Isa's side. He dismissed his keyblade in a blink._ _

__“Are you okay? Those were pretty strong spells,” he asked._ _

__Isa nodded and stared around Terra at the other hunters._ _

__“Thanks for the help, not that we couldn't have handled it,” the large man's greatsword disappeared in a flash, much like how Terra's keyblade had. Isa's finely manicured eyebrow rose in interest._ _

__“You have weapons of light,” Isa observed. The group of unknown hunters shifted and glanced at each other nervously._ _

__Terra smiled at them in what he hoped was disarming as possible. “It's great to meet such strong folks as you all! My name is Terra and this is my friend, Isa.”_ _

__Isa nodded at them._ _

__The group shrugged expectantly at the black haired man until he stepped forward._ _

__“Ignis, Prompto, Gladiolus, and Noctis,” the man gestured to each of his comrades and then himself._ _

__“Wait, Noctis? As in Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum?” Terra asked in a hushed whisper._ _

__Noctis raised an eyebrow. “Does it matter?”_ _

__“Yes, actually! If you're here then it means that you're going to awaken Leviathan with Lady Lunafreya,” Terra said._ _

__Noctis bristled. “What do you know about Lady Lunafreya? Do you know who's keeping her?”_ _

__Terra held his hands up in surrender. “Whoa! Sorry! We met her a few weeks ago, but I'm not sure exactly where she is now.”_ _

__Isa pulled out the tracking pendant from his pocket as proof. “She gave us this and asked us to help Prince Noctis against the darkness. If you're not him, then I suggest that you go about your business and stay away from daemons. If you are him, then we may benefit from having a private conversation.”_ _

__“It strikes me as odd that two hunters such as yourselves also wield light yet I've never seen either of you before in Insomnia. What's your affiliation?” the bespectacled man, Ignis, asked._ _

__“We're not Kingsglaive or Crownsguard, if that's what you're asking,” Terra shrugged. “But like Isa said, we can talk about it in private. I'm sure you guys need to worry about discretion, too.”_ _

__“That's fine,” Noctis crossed his arms in front of his chest._ _

__“Uh, are you sure?” Prompto, the gunman, asked his prince. “We still don't know if we can trust these guys.”_ _

__Noctis shrugged. “The one with the blue hair summoned Astrals. I've never seen those two gods before, but I felt their light and power. Astrals aren't easy to manipulate or else we would've had an easier time allying with them, so I'm guessing that these two are legit.”_ _

__“Is there somewhere in particular you'd feel comfortable talking?” Terra asked. “We're staying at the Leville hotel if you're alright going there.”_ _

__“Oh man, a hotel? catching some Z's sounds really good right now!” Prompto yawned._ _

__Ignis sighed. “Perhaps it would benefit us to rest until morning. We can find Maagho when there's no danger of running into more daemons.”_ _

__“We can help you with that, too!” Terra offered. “Weskham has helped us out a lot and we'd love for you guys to meet him, too!”_ _

__Noctis nodded and stifled a yawn. “Rest, then we'll talk.”_ _


End file.
